authOOr's definitions

learning a new language

when you are learning a new language, you are working on a new piece of ass.

Fundo's girlfriend told him that she was learning a new language, so Fundo decided to choke a bitch.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.

After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

free base

Someone who is slipped a roofie, and will most likely not remember what happened when they awaken.

Fundo: Everybody!! That slut I slipped the roofie to fell asleep. Free base for everyone. I got third!!

by authOOr June 28, 2006

I have X-ray vision

The greatest pick-up line known to man. It keeps the ladies wondering.

Fundo: Hey girl, I have X-ray vision.
Girl: Oh really? Then, what's behind door number 1?
Fundo: Come with me and I'll show you.
Girl: Ooooh weee!

by authOOr June 28, 2006

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

dick flick

A dick flick is a movie you bring your chick to, which will more than likely get your dick some action during the movie screening.

Fundo thought he was taking his girlfriend to a dick flick, but realized it was a chick flick when she was crying on his shoulder. He then turned the movie into a cry job.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

grind test

The test where the woman grinds on a male to see if he is fit for mating.

Melba rubbed on Fundo's lap in the office to see if he was worthy of her tacos. Fundo passed Mella's grind test.

by authOOr June 29, 2006