Zamboozee's definitions

Cretinous-Cretinalias

A Latinised-sounding high-brow word for a dumb-arsed dumb-bunny, usually being one with incipient learning difficulties, who thus is going to spend half his life in a mental funk because he can do nothing right and the other half tormented by the question of why he can do nothing right, and so, in the evolutionary stakes, is in fact a born loser.

I suppose that in describing your behaviour you’d have to be called a cretinous-cretinalias, if only because you look so confoundedly like a classic one.

by Zamboozee April 29, 2011

Dying

The ultimate state of excitement in a person’s life before a more relaxing interlude takes place; or, a very important event not to be missed by not paying enough attention to it at the time, as, in the rush someone might inadvertently miss the moment of his own death by mistake (or, what is inherent in the process of dying, the precise moment of his death), and so would find himself in a right state because he would not quite know what to do with himself next, he being dead, as he having missed paying enough attention at the time to the second most important event in his life, which would clearly be a right kettle of fish.

Die inadvertently, my word! that would be the last thing I’d do, as dying is a thing that must be done right, even if one has not particularly managed to live well.

by Zamboozee April 15, 2011

Prediscoverer

One who has discovered something important to him before someone else had done so, who had subsequently rediscovered it later on in the time-line but has inadvertently called it his own discovery accidentally on purpose by mistake.

Well, my friend, it was I, by virtue of being its prediscoverer, who first discovered relativity, although you seem to have gotten all the credit for doing so.

by Zamboozee March 30, 2011

Kippage

A nautical term for unfriendly sailors aboard ship keeping overly rowdy company with one another on long voyages. In use, very similar to the word, nobbling, which is used on land by landlubbers to mean doing the same sort of thing on terra firma.

By jove mate, you've really kippled me there, indeed I've certainly hada abit of kippage there.

by Zamboozee March 5, 2011

Brainilessness

A lack of presence of mind; a state of mind where a person’s marbles can be heard rattling around in his head just before he mislays them; a point in a person’s thinking where mindfulness does not naturally occur.

I can see by your present demeanour that, at the present time, you are in a state of brainilessness, whereby your mind has gone for a walk on the wild side without your knowledge or the consent of your intellect.

by Zamboozee December 11, 2011

Troubadour

A garlic-eating folk singer of ancient origins; as a group they generally being ones flourishing principally in the Middle Ages in the South of France writing catchy tunes and jingles in a complex metric form for court musicians.

I am not a not a man with a pointy stick wanting to poke unwilling participants in the gladiatorial games with it (and thus who do not like it up them), I am a troubadour, that is, one whom sings soppy love songs to courtly people with nothing much better to do than to listen to those who sing sad songs about unrequited love in drafty old castles by the sea.

by Zamboozee April 24, 2011

Sexual partner

That man or woman or person who shares all your most intimate sexual moments with you on a daily or long-term basis, he or she being of either sex, or, occasionally the same sex, or, sometimes, being a mix of sexes, or occasionally someone of no sex at all (but that does not often happen). In normal sexual relationships, mostly being someone of either one sex or another who, with his or her partner of choice, enjoy carnal knowledge of each other on a long-term basis, as according to the sexual preference of either partner.

Come, my dear, be my sexual partner, either for a day or two or maybe even the rest of our lives, or maybe even come skipping up the aisle with me and, with a bit of luck, and in the meantime, we’ll also have some fun between the sheets whenever we want to, weather permitting.

by Zamboozee May 4, 2011