carded for buying a pacifier

Describing someone who is too young and feeble to be of any use to society, and instead is a burden. Can also describe the sellout children who are undercover cops who try to nail stores for selling cigarettes to them. Implies that the person in question is so young and infantile that they aren't even old enough to buy a pacifier to suck on.
Yooou watch Yu-gi-oh?! You probably get carded for buying a pacifier!

The little boy who came to the SuperFresh to try and buy a pack of Camels is so young, he should be carded for buying a pacifier.

Little Johnny drops a duece in his parents bed, and would be carded for buying a pacifier.
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atheist

1. Liberal Atheist: One who lobbies for freedom FROM religion instead of freedom OF religion. Throws their legal weight around to erase gods and goddesses from all aspects of the lives of Homo Sapiens. If they had a deity it would be the flag. Is a real problem and is very closed-minded to look for any diety.

2. Conservative Atheist: A peaceful person that can't notice God, perhaps because they don't want to, or because they don't see the world that way. No more of a problem to society than a properly operating Pagan.
Atheist:How can you believe in God if you cannot touch him or see him?
Christian:How can you believe in radio waves? You can't touch or see them!
Pagan:Peace dudes, we need to be nice to the environment and get along. Thor told me the moon's gonna crescent on September 13.
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drives to the mailbox

Describing of a person of unfathomably great laziness. Looks for every opportunity to get out of work. Even trivial chores are too much of a finger lift for them. So called because they will get into their car, turn the key, adjust the mirrors, put on their seatbelt, and drive to the mailbox that is at the end of their driveway.
My neighbor is so lazy he drives to the mailbox. It is .07 miles away.
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Speared

A person who has been injured, slaughtered, or maimed by a long shafted weapon with a pointy blade at its tip is said to have been Speared.

Not only black people can be Speared, but white, yellow, and red people too.
Mel Gibson deliberately waited until the family reunion dinner to tell his story about how he Speared one of his acting buddies by accident in the gut and how chunky white puke came out from her punctured duodenum and out the gash in the abdomen. They had to call the ecnalubma.
by Wm. Wallace the Freedom Fighter November 15, 2007
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14 piece dismemberment

When you take a 3 inch or shorter dagger and saw off the feet of a victim at the ankles, then saw off the lower legs, then the upper legs, then the hands at the wrists, then the lower arms, then the upper arms, then, just before he dies from a lack of blood, you slit his throat and cut off his head. So called because when you get done, there's 14 pieces of the body.
Osiris was a victim of a 14 piece dismemberment.

When King Arthur did a 14 piece dismemberment to Igraine, you could hear the sound of her spurting blood colliding with his shiny silver plate armor, as well as her screams of pain as her flesh was sliced open.
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coprophagia

The only redeeming feature of a dog, when it recycles its food by eating its doo doo. Oh yeah, and occasional honking up of grass (the lawn kind) on the windowsill.
We filled a double layer blu-ray recordable disc with 1080p dog coprophagia.
Why don't they hurry up and make a genetically modified cat with obsessive incurable coprophagia?
by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter December 25, 2007
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elven

Of the elves or having to do with elves, the fairytale creature. Usually not used when referring to short Santa's elves.
I know a girl who has elven pointy ears.
An elven lifespan is very long.
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