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Definitions by Wizards Sleeve

watch shit steam 

Describes a very boring person. One who is so lame, they would happily watch the vapour from freshly dumped excrement rather than have a life. An accountant maybe.
Dude 1: "So how's you new job? Good boss?"
Dude 2: "Total bummer man! The boss would watch shit steam rather than do anything useful!"

cigar merchant

Another derogatory term for a homosexual man. So named because, like a cigar merchant, he likes to put a good hand rolled length in his mouth and take a long, leisurely drag on it.
"Hey, check out the fag over there - a real cigar merchant."
cigar merchant by Wizards Sleeve November 5, 2006

Tit Fairy 

A mythical creature who visits women and, with the wave of a wand, endows big knockers.
"Did you see that new chick in Accounts? The Tit Fairy certainly paid her a visit!"
Tit Fairy by Wizards Sleeve October 28, 2006

burping the baby

Yet another term for a wank. In the same way you bounce a baby up and down and give it a rub to make it burp, a man bounces his member around, gives it a rub and hopefully burps out some spoodge.
Dude 1: "Yo! Good day at work?"
Dude 2: "Nah Dawg, I ended up burping the baby in the gents to keep me sane."
burping the baby by Wizards Sleeve October 14, 2006

hearty handshake 

Yet another term for a wank. This is where a chap goes off and gives his member a jolly good handshake. Popular with bored office workers around 4.00pm.
Dude 1: "I say, good day at the office old chap?"
Dude 2: "I'm afraid not. I had to give myself a hearty handshake to get me through the day."

diamond miner's pick axe 

Yet another slang term for erection. When the man-meat is as hard as the tool used by a diamond miner to cut through rocks.
Dude 1: "Did you see the ass on that chick? Huh, huh? I was hard as a diamond miner's pick axe!"
Dude 2: "Way to go, Dawg!"

barrack room biscuit 

Military. A very unpleasant thing. So named from squadie wanking contests. The resulting 'barrack room biscuit' is covered in a lot of spoodge (and is usually force fed to the last man to shoot).
Dude 1: "D'ya see that chick's face in 'Bukkake Cum-fest Volume 9'? What a mess!"
Dude 2: "Yeah, Dawg. Bad as a barrack room biscuit."