Wise Man's definitions

Plerchk

The noise a car theif makes when you catch him breaking into your car and you hit him in the throat with his own baseball bat.

Me: What the FUCK?!?!?
Car Theif: <scrambles for bat> PLERCHK!!!!!!!

by Wise Man October 7, 2003

onions

An expression for breasts when the owner is over 50.
When a girl is in her 20's her tits are called Melons because they are large, round and firm. When a girl gets into her 30s/40's they become baps, still fairly round but softer.
However, once a girl gets into her 50's they become onions, when you see them they make you cry.

Oh no, i just saw your mum's onions <sob sob>

by Wise Man November 18, 2003

chip

1) To run quickly.
2) An electronic car modification that remaps fuelling, timing, engine speed etc.
3) A potato product.
4) To damage paintwork.

1) I got here as fast as i could, i was chipping it.
2) My car's mental, it's chipped to fuck.
3) Cods and Chips please.
4) Some fucker has chipped my paintwork!

by Wise Man October 2, 2003

channel 5

Don't know cos i've never been able to receive it.

My Mate: Whats on 5?
Me: Don't know, and never will.

by Wise Man October 7, 2003

Crikey Moses

An exclamation of surprise, like when I test drove my car for the first time and the turbo came in.

Me: Mmm, sounds ok, bit slow though.

2 seconds later...

Car: Fsssssssssssssssssstttttt Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap Ptchooooooooooo
Me: CRIKEY MOSES!!!!!!!!

by Wise Man November 20, 2003

Ja Rule

See raging squits

Aww my guts are killin me, i think i've gotta take a Ja Rule

by Wise Man November 20, 2003

Pumpy Trousers

An amusing term i heard a radio dj use to refer to someone with a 'gas problem'

Since you started your spinach and lemonade diet you've become a real pumpy trousers

by Wise Man November 13, 2003