WillyCravemore's definitions

Johnny Cubicle

A catch-all name for empty, soul-destroyed office workers who spend the 9-5 wishing they were suffering from terminal cancer.

"Isn't it wonderful being on vacation? I can't stop thinking about Johnny Cubicle, slaving away back at the office".

by WillyCravemore July 6, 2018

Vegan

A young girl, typically aged between 17 and 23, who walks around with a yoga mat sticking out of her rucksack and is active on Instagram.

“Woah look at that piece of ass. Bet she’s a vegan”.

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Fruit and Vag

The practice of inserting fruit into the vagina and eating it out, while simultaneously stimulating the vagina and clitoris; the healthy bedtime snack that perfectly wraps up the five-a-day nutrition guidelines recommended by the World Health Organization.

"Johnny, shall we grab some wings and play pool tonight?"
"Sorry buddy, no - Jessica and I have already planned to have fruit and vag. Perhaps some other time"

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018

Fake News

Facts published by a legitimate news organization, to give a correct and realistic account of an event, situation or person.

“The Fake News said that Christmas will fall on December 25th this year”.

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Text Amnesia

That “text” you forgot to send, realizing only when your wife asks to borrow your phone - to buy 30 seconds to clear your Safari history and double check the contents of your photo album.

“Wow I almost got caught last night. Jill asked to use my phone so I pretended I had text amnesia.”

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Butcher's Gust

Westcountry word for a pungeant, meaty, medium-rate fart.

"What the heck is that....did someone open a pack of ham?"

"No Clive, it's just a Butcher's Gust. Sorry mate."

by WillyCravemore September 29, 2020

Piss and Tell

The act of boasting to friends about an abnormally lengthy urination, commonly precipitated by over-drinking alcohol or water.

"Woah guys, did you hear that? I was going for like a minute and a half"
"Sit down Jake, you dick - no need to piss and tell".

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018