Text Amnesia

That “text” you forgot to send, realizing only when your wife asks to borrow your phone - to buy 30 seconds to clear your Safari history and double check the contents of your photo album.

“Wow I almost got caught last night. Jill asked to use my phone so I pretended I had text amnesia.”

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Fake News

Facts published by a legitimate news organization, to give a correct and realistic account of an event, situation or person.

“The Fake News said that Christmas will fall on December 25th this year”.

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Fruit and Vag

The practice of inserting fruit into the vagina and eating it out, while simultaneously stimulating the vagina and clitoris; the healthy bedtime snack that perfectly wraps up the five-a-day nutrition guidelines recommended by the World Health Organization.

"Johnny, shall we grab some wings and play pool tonight?"
"Sorry buddy, no - Jessica and I have already planned to have fruit and vag. Perhaps some other time"

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018

Butcher's Gust

Westcountry word for a pungeant, meaty, medium-rate fart.

"What the heck is that....did someone open a pack of ham?"

"No Clive, it's just a Butcher's Gust. Sorry mate."

by WillyCravemore September 29, 2020

Third Wave Rage

The raw anger that transfers to everything in the universe from a person tired, annoyed and impatient as their country suffers a third wave of Covid-19.

"Why did Tom freak out at the gym today, just because that dude got to the squat rack before him?"
"Ignore Tom...he just has third wave rage".

by WillyCravemore July 23, 2021

Sheetwaft

The act of fanning the duvet, sometimes slowly with an elbow if a partner is present in the bed, to register a fart being concealed by the fabric.

“John - are you sheetwafting? Holy fuck - that stinks”.

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Cake Batter Splatter

Looking down into the toilet bowl after a loud defecation, to find it littered with droplets of light brown liquid shit, resembling the delicious batter of a coffee cake.

"Does anyone have a toilet brush handy? Gotta clean the bowl; I did a huge cake batter splatter"

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018