WillyCravemore's definitions

Fruit and Vag

The practice of inserting fruit into the vagina and eating it out, while simultaneously stimulating the vagina and clitoris; the healthy bedtime snack that perfectly wraps up the five-a-day nutrition guidelines recommended by the World Health Organization.

"Johnny, shall we grab some wings and play pool tonight?"
"Sorry buddy, no - Jessica and I have already planned to have fruit and vag. Perhaps some other time"

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018

Piss and Tell

The act of boasting to friends about an abnormally lengthy urination, commonly precipitated by over-drinking alcohol or water.

"Woah guys, did you hear that? I was going for like a minute and a half"
"Sit down Jake, you dick - no need to piss and tell".

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018

Cake Batter Splatter

Looking down into the toilet bowl after a loud defecation, to find it littered with droplets of light brown liquid shit, resembling the delicious batter of a coffee cake.

"Does anyone have a toilet brush handy? Gotta clean the bowl; I did a huge cake batter splatter"

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018

Spunky Firework

An ejaculation that squirts out at great force, upwards in droplets, thus resembling a beautiful roman candle firework. Often known to leave visible damage to walls and headboards.

"Holy shit Jeff, that was one heck of a spunky firework".

by WillyCravemore June 21, 2018

Vegan

A young girl, typically aged between 17 and 23, who walks around with a yoga mat sticking out of her rucksack and is active on Instagram.

“Woah look at that piece of ass. Bet she’s a vegan”.

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Sheetwaft

The act of fanning the duvet, sometimes slowly with an elbow if a partner is present in the bed, to register a fart being concealed by the fabric.

“John - are you sheetwafting? Holy fuck - that stinks”.

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018

Text Amnesia

That “text” you forgot to send, realizing only when your wife asks to borrow your phone - to buy 30 seconds to clear your Safari history and double check the contents of your photo album.

“Wow I almost got caught last night. Jill asked to use my phone so I pretended I had text amnesia.”

by WillyCravemore June 24, 2018