perimiturd

perimiturd: (noun) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A dog turd lying beneath any structure, especially one with a continuous physical border (a perimeter). E.g., a building, fence, fire hydrant, park bench, etc.
Shitstix! Samus tugged her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back against a telephone pole and landed in a perimiturd.
by Waarlowe March 24, 2022
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UUAIS

(pronounced: “you-ace”)

Universe Unfolding As It Should

A theoretical phenomenon ensuring that ostensibly meaningless and even unfavorable events in one’s life will culminate in a positive outcome, as orchestrated by metaphysical forces that transcend human comprehension.

UUAIS is usually acknowledged in hindsight. The cosmic energies driving UUAIS are not perceptible elements that enable one to anticipate an occurrence characterized by UUAIS. However, recognizing mundane or trivial events as constituent to UUAIS, deliberately perceiving adverse events with neutrality, and acquiescing to the conditions of one’s immediate situation—all may lead to a more desirable future reality. Embracing the deterministic but auspicious aspects of UUAIS may invoke a Zen-like sense of equilibrium.

Coincidence, serendipity, and kismet are products of UUAIS. Despite its association with one’s personal sensory and cognitive experience, UUAIS ultimately applies to a comprehensive schema subsumed by every possible multiverse, substantiating the connected nature of all things organic and mineral. Whether or not this universal schema is preordained is unknown and thereby irrelevant.

UUAIS does not apply to devastating tragedies or negatively life-altering developments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

(see also: silver lining)
Montrezl was severely bummed when he didn’t get the job at Pubetech in Cupertino, but as UUAIS would have it, a recruiter called out of the blue to offer him a job with higher pay, less stodgy corporate culture, and the option to work from home fulltime.
by Waarlowe March 21, 2021
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dickz

dickz (n.) = graphical depictions of the phallus in public venues (e.g., city walls, subways, railway trestles, bridges, street signs; bar/club bathrooms; greenspace/park murals; select church pews; pretty much anywhere you can think of); aka, penis graffiti

Word Origin: Scholarly and empirical evidence indicates this term was coined by Chris James Bayer in August 2023. Anecdotally, the word "dickz" proved to be useful in texting because Bayer used it repeatedly in text missives until his iPhone 13 learned the word was acceptable in its predictive algorithm, thereby precluding autocorrect from adjusting the word "dicks" to read "ducks," which pissed him off.
Teaching Apple’s AI the word dickz was all I could do to get my First Amendment rights back.”
by Waarlowe August 10, 2023
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Tikdiction

(noun): a compulsive, chronic, psychological need to view TikTok videos, esp. frequently or for prolonged periods; the state of being Tikdicted

Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok

© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
My Tikdiction has spiraled out of control. It’s eating into the time I spend figuring out Wordle!
by Waarlowe March 29, 2022
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vizzies

n. (always plural) :: boogers inside one's nose that are visible to others; bats in the cave
Oh shit. Shirah is coming over this way. Do I have any vizzies?” asked Tommy.
“No, you’re good,” said Chris, lying to him.
by Waarlowe January 29, 2021
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