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Waarlowe's definitions

BDHI

(Bayer-Day Happiness Index)*

The BDHI is assessed on a 10-point Likert scale with 10 being highest. The metric only applies to the very moment the assessment is made, inclusive of all concurrent variables impacting a person’s happiness. This entails environmental factors that affect immediate sensory perceptions such as comfort level (e.g., attending a conference in which the room is cold as fuck), general mood (e.g., annoyed by present company), and physiological status (e.g., well-rested, happily buzzed, remorsefully hungover, gassy, and so on). One’s BDHI assessment is subject to continuous fluctuation and volatility, as the reported score only pertains to the now.

Extreme psychometrics on the BDHI spectrum are: 1 = suicidal; 10 = ecstatic.**

* The BDHI was developed by Chris James Bayer and Chet Robert Day circa 2021.

** Bolth these scores on the continuum are very rare because they indicate a willingness to die (in the moment of nirvanic elation or crushing despair), but for opposite reasons.
CJB: “How are you today?”
Chet: “In what sense?”
CJB: “What’s your BDHI?”
Chet: “Oh. It’s about a 7.5.”
CJB: “Got it.”
by Waarlowe February 16, 2022
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dickz

dickz (n.) = graphical depictions of the phallus in public venues (e.g., city walls, subways, railway trestles, bridges, street signs; bar/club bathrooms; greenspace/park murals; select church pews; pretty much anywhere you can think of); aka, penis graffiti

Word Origin: Scholarly and empirical evidence indicates this term was coined by Chris James Bayer in August 2023. Anecdotally, the word "dickz" proved to be useful in texting because Bayer used it repeatedly in text missives until his iPhone 13 learned the word was acceptable in its predictive algorithm, thereby precluding autocorrect from adjusting the word "dicks" to read "ducks," which pissed him off.
Teaching Apple’s AI the word dickz was all I could do to get my First Amendment rights back.”
by Waarlowe August 10, 2023
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Tikdiction

(noun): a compulsive, chronic, psychological need to view TikTok videos, esp. frequently or for prolonged periods; the state of being Tikdicted

Tikdicted (adjective): the psychological phenomenon of being addicted to TikTok

© Copyright 2022 Chris James Bayer
My Tikdiction has spiraled out of control. It’s eating into the time I spend figuring out Wordle!
by Waarlowe March 29, 2022
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perimiturd

perimiturd: (noun) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A dog turd lying beneath any structure, especially one with a continuous physical border (a perimeter). E.g., a building, fence, fire hydrant, park bench, etc.
Shitstix! Samus tugged her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back against a telephone pole and landed in a perimiturd.
by Waarlowe March 24, 2022
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rearrange

The act of an individual with male genitalia reaching into his (or her) drawls to physically move his (or her) dick and ballsack around in an effort to optimize comfort—usually whilst sitting down, and often performed in public.
Seated at the picnic table across from Aunt Phoebe, I found that my thighs were squishing my junk and I was kind of sitting on top of my Schwetty balls, so I had to rearrange.
by Waarlowe January 6, 2021
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