12 definitions by Waarlowe
Jonathan: "Momma, can we stop at Dairy Queen and get some—?”
Momma: “You will get nunting and like it!”
Momma: “You will get nunting and like it!”
by Waarlowe January 29, 2021
by Waarlowe January 29, 2021
The act of an individual with male genitalia reaching into his (or her) drawls to physically move his (or her) dick and ballsack around in an effort to optimize comfort—usually whilst sitting down, and often performed in public.
Seated at the picnic table across from Aunt Phoebe, I found that my thighs were squishing my junk and I was kind of sitting on top of my Schwetty balls, so I had to rearrange.
by Waarlowe January 7, 2021
(pronounced: “you-ace”)
Universe Unfolding As It Should
A theoretical phenomenon ensuring that ostensibly meaningless and even unfavorable events in one’s life will culminate in a positive outcome, as orchestrated by metaphysical forces that transcend human comprehension.
UUAIS is usually acknowledged in hindsight. The cosmic energies driving UUAIS are not perceptible elements that enable one to anticipate an occurrence characterized by UUAIS. However, recognizing mundane or trivial events as constituent to UUAIS, deliberately perceiving adverse events with neutrality, and acquiescing to the conditions of one’s immediate situation—all may lead to a more desirable future reality. Embracing the deterministic but auspicious aspects of UUAIS may invoke a Zen-like sense of equilibrium.
Coincidence, serendipity, and kismet are products of UUAIS. Despite its association with one’s personal sensory and cognitive experience, UUAIS ultimately applies to a comprehensive schema subsumed by every possible multiverse, substantiating the connected nature of all things organic and mineral. Whether or not this universal schema is preordained is unknown and thereby irrelevant.
UUAIS does not apply to devastating tragedies or negatively life-altering developments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
(see also: silver lining)
Universe Unfolding As It Should
A theoretical phenomenon ensuring that ostensibly meaningless and even unfavorable events in one’s life will culminate in a positive outcome, as orchestrated by metaphysical forces that transcend human comprehension.
UUAIS is usually acknowledged in hindsight. The cosmic energies driving UUAIS are not perceptible elements that enable one to anticipate an occurrence characterized by UUAIS. However, recognizing mundane or trivial events as constituent to UUAIS, deliberately perceiving adverse events with neutrality, and acquiescing to the conditions of one’s immediate situation—all may lead to a more desirable future reality. Embracing the deterministic but auspicious aspects of UUAIS may invoke a Zen-like sense of equilibrium.
Coincidence, serendipity, and kismet are products of UUAIS. Despite its association with one’s personal sensory and cognitive experience, UUAIS ultimately applies to a comprehensive schema subsumed by every possible multiverse, substantiating the connected nature of all things organic and mineral. Whether or not this universal schema is preordained is unknown and thereby irrelevant.
UUAIS does not apply to devastating tragedies or negatively life-altering developments. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
(see also: silver lining)
Montrezl was severely bummed when he didn’t get the job at Pubetech in Cupertino, but as UUAIS would have it, a recruiter called out of the blue to offer him a job with higher pay, less stodgy corporate culture, and the option to work from home fulltime.
by Waarlowe March 21, 2021
perimiturd: (noun) :: c. 2022, New Knowltonese A dog turd lying beneath any structure, especially one with a continuous physical border (a perimeter). E.g., a building, fence, fire hydrant, park bench, etc.
Shitstix! Samus tugged her leash, threw me off balance, and I fell back against a telephone pole and landed in a perimiturd.
by Waarlowe March 25, 2022