Definitions by Uncle Joosie
Frypan Diane
Carlos was going for a putaway shot at the net when he stumbled and waved at the ball with his racquet, ending up shanking it out. on the changeover, Carlos turned to his partner Lou and said "jesus fucking christ dude I just hit a frypan diane. WTF is wrong with me?"
Frypan Diane by Uncle Joosie October 5, 2023
Mob Accordion
appearing outside a New York courthouse after one of his 6,000 trials, guiltiest-mutherfucker donald scrump waved his tiny hands around doing the Mob Accordion which is always a sure sign he's lying and afraid of going to prison.
Mob Accordion by Uncle Joosie October 5, 2023
Leaf-blower Mafia
those annoying fucksticks who use gas-powered blowers that pollute the planet and annoy TF outta everyone with noise disruption
Clyde was reading in his sunroom on a quiet Saturday when all of a sudden he heard the thunderous din of leaf-blower mafia blowing debris from his neighbors yard. the blow-and-go crew started at 7 a.m. and really got under Clyde's skin. "fucking hell, when are we gonna invent a quiet, electric version of the leaf blowers? these goddamned machines are annoying and terrible for the planet." Clyde put his earbuds in and kept reading.
Leaf-blower Mafia by Uncle Joosie August 10, 2023
Autoenshittification
"Digitization supercharges financialization," writes Cory Doctorow about Autoenshittification. "amid all the complaining about cars getting stuck in the Internet of Shit, there's still not much discussion of why the carmakers are making their products less attractive, less reliable, less safe, and less resilient by stuffing them full of microchips"
Autoenshittification by Uncle Joosie July 24, 2023
Minivan Taliban
Moms for Liberty, recently rehabbed by national media as "joyful warriors," are all a fraudulent, dark-money-funded, steaming pile of horseshit masquerading as "grassroots movement". which is exactly why Minivan Taliban started trending on Twitter.
Minivan Taliban by Uncle Joosie July 5, 2023
Whimpering Zipper
George "Kitara Ravaché" Devolder Santos sprinted nervously away from a reporter in what were supposed to be slacks, but only looked like yoga leggings. dude's pants were so tight they had a whimpering zipper
Whimpering Zipper by Uncle Joosie July 1, 2023
Fisty McManhood
Just before sprinting through halls of congress in fear of his life on Jan 6th, Joshua Hawley raised his fist in solidarity with Hillbilly Seditionists. Lying-liar Fisty McManhood then decided to pay a ghostwriter for a piece-of-shit book that he slapped his name on, in which he screeches about attacks on masculinity and what it means to be a "real" dude.
Fisty McManhood by Uncle Joosie May 25, 2023