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Uncle Joosie's definitions

Shamble Bangs

Chuck Todd metaphor for American news
watching Sunday shows Lydia said “my god these news assholes are just so fucking terrible,” reacting to Chuck Todd not challenging a repub guest on Meet the Press. “Chuck’s gross Shamble Bangs is the perfect symbol of how fucking useless news is today.”
by Uncle Joosie January 10, 2022
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Bimbomercials

when Dennis Miller agreed to host nonsense on Putin's mouthpiece Russia Today, he regularly posted clips of his Bimbomercials to gullible rubes.
by Uncle Joosie March 2, 2022
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Handjob in Helsinki

Trump's sole purpose for his "summit" with Putin.
Donnie Trump recently flew Air Force One to pleasure his Russian boss, Vlad Putin, with a handjob in Helsinki.
by Uncle Joosie July 22, 2018
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Handy Five-fetus

Anti-choice nutbag hoarding "bio-hazard" material
The Former Guy DOJ official and Federalist Society member, David Morrell, owns a Washington, D.C., house whose tenant, Lauren Handy, got busted storing fetuses in a cooler. reached for comment the woman said "omg they're gonna freak when they find out about my Handy Five-fetus"
by Uncle Joosie April 1, 2022
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Shmessy

Kenya brought Cookie Lady to lunch to ambush Tanya about her about the boyfriend's dalliances. "that's some fucked up Shmessy, girl" Cynthia said, which then caused a fight with Kenya.
by Uncle Joosie February 17, 2020
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Window Cancer

sad affliction befalling Russian operatives who cross Putin, for which there is no cure
Sergei Lukmanov, Russian billionaire with 9 yachts and 16 vacation homes, "earned" his billions via oil & gas in Russian region of Siberia. After Putin invaded Ukraine and committed countless atrocities Vlad needed scapegoats so Sergei accidentally tripped and fell out a 20-story building in the latest occurrence of stage 4 Window Cancer. sad.
by Uncle Joosie April 25, 2022
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