133 definitions by Uncle Joosie

when CNN's chyron writer is like "fuck it Don is toast"
Harold was CNN's on-duty chyron writer when AP called presidential race for Joe Biden. "thank GOD" he thought to himself, then started thinking up cutting burns. after typing in "THE TRUMP SHOW HAS A SERIES FINALE DATE" he muttered "now that's some Grade A Chyron Shade" and sipped his tea.
by Uncle Joosie November 8, 2020
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Belinda was switching channels after a long day at work and landed on Fixed Noise. bearded and obese Rafael Ted Cruz was on with Tucker Carlson to slam the libs and Belinda said "I don't got enough Chardonnay to sit through Fat Dracula. fucking pass dude."
by Uncle Joosie February 25, 2022
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when your frustrated bestie sends Google Hangouts sticker with a clock
Emmet and Salvador were chatting via Hangouts and Sal got a work call; after waiting a few minutes Emmet became impatient and sent a Purple Cat sticker holding a clock. When Sal hung up he saw the sticker and replied "oh I KNOW you didn't just engage in Sticker Scolding, bitch."
by Uncle Joosie August 14, 2020
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Avalanche of concern-troll emails from companies looking to cover they asses
George checked his morning email with a cup of coffee in-hand when a sanguinely worded email came in from TripAdvisor warning him to stay safe. "Oh jeez *another* COVID ConcernGram? my in-box can't handle any more of those!"
by Uncle Joosie March 14, 2020
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when you have a great bowel movement and need to tell your best friends how great it was.
I kept Tiffany in the Poop Loop when I texted her with glee after taking a marvelous shit.
by Uncle Joosie February 5, 2018
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when a Twitter dolt gets ratioed by a factor of 10 or more
Henry quote-tweeted Jacob Wohl and was ratioed to oblivion with 2 retweets and 6K comments
by Uncle Joosie January 14, 2019
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swiping right on Tinder because he'd make a great contestant on Ru Paul's Drag Race
Paul was swiping through Tinder late at night found Bruce, who had tweezed eyebrows and a slim build. when he dropped down to Bruce's Instagram feed he discovered a deeper drag personae and he was forced to swipe right
by Uncle Joosie April 19, 2019
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