Skip to main content

Definitions by Uncle Joosie

shitrolling 

dogs rubbing themselves on a fertilized lawn
Carla took her Rat Terrier Clyde for a walk and came across a newly fertilized lawn; Clyde promptly started shitrolling to get the scent all over him
shitrolling by Uncle Joosie June 23, 2020

instaghosted

when a Tinder match instantly deletes you
Diane was pissed after hunky Charley matched with her on Tinder only to find he was gone. “that cunt instaghosted me!” she yelled to her roommate
instaghosted by Uncle Joosie May 16, 2020

Covid Cootie-cross

when someone approaching you crosses the street to avoid contagion
Karla was walking and talking to mom on her cell and noticed a dude who crossed to the other side. "OMG mama this guy just did a Covid Cootie-cross on me!"

Karmacorona 

Culture Club song remake that plays every time test-denying Republicans catch Coronavirus
after CNN reported that Rand Paul got diagnosed with COVID-19 Herb asked Alexa to play "Karma Chameleon." Herb exclaimed "that's some serious Karmacorona happening right now!" as Boy George sang.
Karmacorona by Uncle Joosie March 22, 2020

COVID ConcernGram 

Avalanche of concern-troll emails from companies looking to cover they asses
George checked his morning email with a cup of coffee in-hand when a sanguinely worded email came in from TripAdvisor warning him to stay safe. "Oh jeez *another* COVID ConcernGram? my in-box can't handle any more of those!"

Coronarrhea 

Trump bowel movement during Coronavirus pandemic
Donald filled his "administration" with science-denying fuckfaces and is so stupid generally he can't fathom Coronavirus spiraling out of control is his own fault. To cope with bad news Don retreated to his crapper where, while tweeting angrily at Obama, he blew out the toilet with explosive Coronarrhea
Coronarrhea by Uncle Joosie March 13, 2020

concern for my Cheetos 

when a friend worries about crunchy snacks getting too moist
Karl was preparing his snack bowl with Cheetos, apples and carrots when his roommate, Larissa, asked "won't that make your Cheetos soggy?" Karl replied: "no not at all but your concern for my Cheetos is greatly appreciated"