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Uncle Joosie's definitions

Casino Mobster

Who spends nearly $2B to build a shithole casino in New Jersey—along with credible accusations of money laundering—only to have the whole thing go belly up? Casino Mobster does.
by Uncle Joosie January 17, 2024
mugGet the Casino Mobstermug.

Rudy Burns

Giuliani hair dye that's actually runny Kmart shoe polish
Rudy Giuliani stepped to the lectern to illegally sabotage America's electoral process and began to sweat profusely. the next moment the Rudy Burns began forming on his diseased cheeks, looking like shoe-polish sideburns and helping create forever Internet memes.
by Uncle Joosie November 20, 2020
mugGet the Rudy Burnsmug.

Spanish Pence

horny science-denying closet-case who attracts flies
Noreen watched the VP debate with best gal pal Cindy and they noticed a fly landed on Mike Pence's head. They knew it was a sign. "Imagine being married to Mother as repressed gay man who could be fabulous; instead he's just Spanish Pence who's not allowed to be sexual, ever. sad!"
by Uncle Joosie October 20, 2020
mugGet the Spanish Pencemug.

Performative Bible

criminal-mafia republicans tweeting pious garbage to distract from being terrible
Suzie was perusing Twitter and came across Kelly Loeffler's tweet from book of Matthew. "Wait isn't she the insider-trading gal?" she thought to herself. "My god these depraved republicans always do Performative Bible like we don't know they broke the law"
by Uncle Joosie December 28, 2020
mugGet the Performative Biblemug.

Portly Pinocchio

New York’s newest congress-critter is habitual liar and tub of goo George Santos, who got sketchy cash and an entire cult of republicans behind him. the Portly Pinocchio will likely not finish his term and instead get extradited to Brazil for prosecution.
by Uncle Joosie January 16, 2023
mugGet the Portly Pinocchiomug.

Drag Queen Apology

India Ferrah made shit up on Alexis Mateo during 'RuPaul's Drag Race AllStars' Season 5 and tried to serve her best Drag Queen Apology aka Apolo-lie to clean up her tattered reputation. "I need to sincerely apologize for things that were said. If you were offended I'd like to directly apologize for actions taken in the past and it was never my intention to repeat an untrue thing that was mentioned."
by Uncle Joosie August 14, 2020
mugGet the Drag Queen Apologymug.

instaghosted

when a Tinder match instantly deletes you
Diane was pissed after hunky Charley matched with her on Tinder only to find he was gone. “that cunt instaghosted me!” she yelled to her roommate
by Uncle Joosie May 16, 2020
mugGet the instaghostedmug.

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