Skip to main content

Definitions by The Chickens Are Revolting

A straight white girl who recognizes that the "part Native American" trend has run its course, and now has to come up with something new.
I can't be racist because I'm 1/16 Cherokee, and I can't be transphobic or homophobic because I'm nonbinary! So ha!
The divine pantheon of all things Hippie.

Consists of:

- John Lennon: the God of Social Commentary and Hard Drugs

- Paul McCartney: God of Vegetarianism and Strawberries

- George Harrison: the God of Meditation and Sunshine

- Ringo Starr: the God of Peace, Love and Sentient Locomotives

According to the Ancient Hippie Mythology, John Lennon hatched from an egg laid by the Walrus, and guitared the rest of the universe into existence. In an eternal strawberry field, he watered a stereo-box for number-nine days and number-nine nights, until the stereo box hatched, and out climbed Paul McCartney. George Harrison was likewise formed from a drop of sun. But the Band longed for a bloody good drummer. Then, an octopus laid an egg that was hatched under a steam engine, and Ringo Starr was born.

Devout followers of Beatlemania will be rewarded in the afterlife, ferried by Mr. Conductor to the Yellow Submarine, which will take them to their eternal home of Pepperland. Sinners, however, will be rounded up by th *other* Mr. Conductor (Alec Baldwin) and shipped off to the sh*tty TV cartoon's universe to spend eternity in agony.
I was stoned off my ass when I wrote that Urban Dictionary definition for the Beatles.

differently abled 

The current politically correct term for mentally handicapped people. However, by the time this definition is finished being typed, "differently abled" will likely be a "slur" and the new PC term will be something even more vague.
"People with Down Syndrome are not 'disabled,' they're differently abled! And this has nothing to do with political correctness; simply understanding and clarity."
"I beg your pardon, but I don't appreciate you calling people like my son 'differently abled.' They are no more 'different' than any usual person. This is an offensive slur and needs to stop. Spread the word to end the D-word!"

Home maker 

A woman who cannot accept that her children aren't children anymore. She refuses to get a job, hobby, social life, or anything that might define herself apart from her role as "mom." She is up her teenage or adult children's assess 24/7, throwing tantrums when she doesn't get the attention or praise she expects, and wonders why her kids leave the room when she arrives, move out of town when they grow up, and rarely call.
"I hate my home. My mom is always there, screaming at me for spilling milk or not having the right tone of voice."
"Don't you at least have some times when she's not home? Doesn't she work or anything?"
"No, she's a home maker."

Anti feminist 

Someone who regards the human race as a line of Barbie and Ken dolls. Any man or woman who doesn't fit the model of a Barbie or a Ken is deemed defective. (Unfeminine women are accused of "trying to be men," un-masculine men are deemed "pussies" or "fags," etc.) The anti feminist blames feminism for the fact that the sexes don't look like the cast of "Leave it to Beaver" or "Happy Days," assuming that tomboys, career women, homosexuals, and nerds never existed before the women's lib movement of the 1960s came along and "destroyed femininity/masculinity."
"Don't tell Ms. Wilson that you're going back to work after your kid's born. She's an anti feminist."

confederate flag 

1.) A historical symbol related to the Civil War
2.) Symbol of Southern Pride
3.) Symbol of the Redneck culture
4.) Symbol of White Supremacy

5.) Symbol used by white-trash adults who never grew out of the "edgy rebel" phase that most of us left behind in high school
Grown Man Who Works at McDonald's: "Hey everyone, I'm getting the Confederate flag tattooed on my arm, because I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

(Everyone ignores him)

Grown Man Who Works at McDonald's: "I said, I'm getting a Confederate flag tattoo, 'cuz I don't care what y'all think of me!"

(Still being ignored)

Grown Man Who Works At McDonald's: "I'll bet a lot of you black folk are really offended by that!"

Black Person: (Ignores him)

Grown Man Who Works at McDonald's: "I'M A REBEL! I wear this flag for FREEDOM!"

Marine With American Flag Tattoo: "Oh really. "