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The Cap N''s definitions

OSSOEFKSAOSS

1. Operation Spartan Shield (OSS), Operation Enduring Freedom, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and OSS again without ever having your unit in the same place for the same unified effort so as not to mass force and be effective.

2. A tour in Southwest Asia that is analogous to plugging a hole in a dam with your fingers only to find it springing a leak somewhere else.

3. The worst 14 months of your life.
1. Remember OSSOEFKSAOSS when we were spread all over the place and had a scavenger hunt for those slack jawed idiots equipment?

2. Oh, by the way, before you go home from OSSOEFKSAOSS, you're going to have to quarantine for two weeks after quarantining for two weeks after living in an isolated population where you quarantined for two weeks.

3. OSSOEFKSAOSS was the worst deployment of my life.
by The Cap N' May 19, 2021
mugGet the OSSOEFKSAOSSmug.

ottawa jizz rag

1. Any cloth article that has been saturated with jizz and worn for a prolonged period of time to the point that the fibers have been broken down and holes are now present. This item is usually a serious risk of infection to the wearer and others who come into contact with it.

2. A Snuggy.
Karl has been in quarantine for two weeks. He's not sick but, if he keeps wearing that Ottawa jizz rag, he will be.
by The Cap N' August 10, 2020
mugGet the ottawa jizz ragmug.

raccoon murder

1. A made up legal term that has no statute because the law sees these creatures as nuisance animals.

2. The completely legal and responsible activity of eliminating trash pandas from your neighborhood or property so as to preserve the cleanliness of the area and rid it of diseased pest.
1. Some turds went on YouTube and accused this guy of raccoon murder. Turns out, there's no such thing.

2. I was tired of half the trash cans being tipped over and the garbage being scattered throughout the neighborhood. So I went on a raccoon murder spree.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
mugGet the raccoon murdermug.

kick-start the dog

1. The act of tucking one's semi-erect penis behind their leg and then kicking that leg rearward in order to stimulate a fuller erection.

2. Tucking ones fully erect penis behind their leg and forcefully hiking that leg rearward in order to smack a woman performing fellatio under the chin.
1. I was taking a shower and sprang a semi so I used some hair conditioner to kick-start the dog.
2. Your ex-girlfriend kept talking while giving the weakest head I've ever received so I kick-started the dog and smacked that bitch in the face.
by The Cap N' June 19, 2020
mugGet the kick-start the dogmug.

officer nordberg

The one man on the Police Squad who hasn't given up looking for the real killer(s) of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.
Officer Nordberg has remained dogged about finding the real killer since he accidentally contaminated and ruined the crime scene with his own DNA.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
mugGet the officer nordbergmug.
A neurological disorder generally presenting itself in males aged 18-40 as a result of deploying to environments that are so hot the brain cooks inside of a helmet that is bombarded by high frequency radio waves and X-ray radiation while simultaneously trying to figure out exactly what the mission is. The people who are handicapped by this syndrome return noticably impaired in both mental and physical capabilities.
My uncle has Deployment Driven Down Syndrome (DDDS). He spent 9 months looking at the same patch of desert for 8 hours a day during OSS while running a backscatter.
by The Cap N' August 21, 2023
mugGet the Deployment Driven Down Syndromemug.

Ghetto life insurance

When you're life is so meaningless you go out of your way to get killed by the police or a city bus in the hopes that your surviving family who wants nothing to do with your sorry ass anyways will get half the money the courts award you at the taxpayers expense. The other half goes to the lawyers and Al Sharpton.
Yeah... He was a gud boy. He was get 'n his life back together. He was going to community college and trying to record his rhymes. He dindu nuff 'n and the police shot 'em. He goan git fat ghetto life insurance doh...
by The Cap N' May 19, 2021
mugGet the Ghetto life insurancemug.

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