The Cap N''s definitions

Deployment Driven Down Syndrome

A neurological disorder generally presenting itself in males aged 18-40 as a result of deploying to environments that are so hot the brain cooks inside of a helmet that is bombarded by high frequency radio waves and X-ray radiation while simultaneously trying to figure out exactly what the mission is. The people who are handicapped by this syndrome return noticably impaired in both mental and physical capabilities.

My uncle has Deployment Driven Down Syndrome (DDDS). He spent 9 months looking at the same patch of desert for 8 hours a day during OSS while running a backscatter.

by The Cap N' August 21, 2023

OSSOEFKSAOSS

1. Operation Spartan Shield (OSS), Operation Enduring Freedom, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and OSS again without ever having your unit in the same place for the same unified effort so as not to mass force and be effective.

2. A tour in Southwest Asia that is analogous to plugging a hole in a dam with your fingers only to find it springing a leak somewhere else.

3. The worst 14 months of your life.

1. Remember OSSOEFKSAOSS when we were spread all over the place and had a scavenger hunt for those slack jawed idiots equipment?

2. Oh, by the way, before you go home from OSSOEFKSAOSS, you're going to have to quarantine for two weeks after quarantining for two weeks after living in an isolated population where you quarantined for two weeks.

3. OSSOEFKSAOSS was the worst deployment of my life.

by The Cap N' May 19, 2021

Ghetto life insurance

When you're life is so meaningless you go out of your way to get killed by the police or a city bus in the hopes that your surviving family who wants nothing to do with your sorry ass anyways will get half the money the courts award you at the taxpayers expense. The other half goes to the lawyers and Al Sharpton.

Yeah... He was a gud boy. He was get 'n his life back together. He was going to community college and trying to record his rhymes. He dindu nuff 'n and the police shot 'em. He goan git fat ghetto life insurance doh...

by The Cap N' May 19, 2021

shripp

1
n. The distinct sound of chapped butt cheeks breaking the adhesion caused by a combination of caked skin, body hair, and fecal matter.
2
v. The act is separating the fleshy portions of the buttocks where the left and right gluteus maximus join at the anus creating a sound similar to opening old velcro.

1: I had to use the airport bathroom after a long flight and my ass made a shripp.

2: I shripped so loud that the two guys in the stall next to me giggled and one said, "Sounds like a virgin".

by The Cap N' April 24, 2021

pink veal

An inferior type of veal that doesn't compare to milk fed pure white veal in either flavor or tenderness.

Out here they got that pink veal... Slide over honey... Now pink veal you could pound that shit for two days. It'll never ever get tender you know what I mean?

by The Cap N' April 13, 2021

Limp Noodle Spaghetti Dead

(Phrase) - description of person dying, usually from a cranial GSW that results in the body going limp in a fashion similar to a wet pasta noodle.

Shooter: "I'm not sure if I got him"

Spotter: "Yeah you shot him in the head and he went limp noodle spaghetti dead"

by The Cap N' April 13, 2021

Wild Uncle

A drink that combines a shot (usually a double) of Wild Turkey poured into a pint glass with 12oz of Miller Genuine Draft in it. It is promptly consumed in a one-n'-done chug. It represents something along the lines of how your uncle would drink if he had some bad news to tell you.

Uncle: Give me a Wild Uncle and make it a double. I just don't know how to tell my nephew he's an orphan and my trailer ain't no place for kids.
Bartender: Sure thing pal. Maybe you shouldn't have drove him to a bar to break that news...

by The Cap N' April 9, 2021