kick-start the dog

1. The act of tucking one's semi-erect penis behind their leg and then kicking that leg rearward in order to stimulate a fuller erection.

2. Tucking ones fully erect penis behind their leg and forcefully hiking that leg rearward in order to smack a woman performing fellatio under the chin.
1. I was taking a shower and sprang a semi so I used some hair conditioner to kick-start the dog.
2. Your ex-girlfriend kept talking while giving the weakest head I've ever received so I kick-started the dog and smacked that bitch in the face.
by The Cap N' June 19, 2020
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raccoon murder

1. A made up legal term that has no statute because the law sees these creatures as nuisance animals.

2. The completely legal and responsible activity of eliminating trash pandas from your neighborhood or property so as to preserve the cleanliness of the area and rid it of diseased pest.
1. Some turds went on YouTube and accused this guy of raccoon murder. Turns out, there's no such thing.

2. I was tired of half the trash cans being tipped over and the garbage being scattered throughout the neighborhood. So I went on a raccoon murder spree.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
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ottawa jizz rag

1. Any cloth article that has been saturated with jizz and worn for a prolonged period of time to the point that the fibers have been broken down and holes are now present. This item is usually a serious risk of infection to the wearer and others who come into contact with it.

2. A Snuggy.
Karl has been in quarantine for two weeks. He's not sick but, if he keeps wearing that Ottawa jizz rag, he will be.
by The Cap N' August 10, 2020
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officer nordberg

The one man on the Police Squad who hasn't given up looking for the real killer(s) of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.
Officer Nordberg has remained dogged about finding the real killer since he accidentally contaminated and ruined the crime scene with his own DNA.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
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apache firestarter

Rubbing ones palms together vigorously with at least four fingers of each hand inserted into your partner's anus or vagina in an effort to stimulate an orgasm.
I finished up but, was having trouble getting that loose hole hot so I hit it with the ol' Apache Firestarter and they came like a first class package. Beat up and late.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
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pink veal

An inferior type of veal that doesn't compare to milk fed pure white veal in either flavor or tenderness.
Out here they got that pink veal... Slide over honey... Now pink veal you could pound that shit for two days. It'll never ever get tender you know what I mean?
by The Cap N' April 13, 2021
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pontiac blanket

1. A diseased or poisoned garment given to someone in order to infect or afflict them.

2. A reference to smallpox blankets allegedly given to the Pontiac Indians.

See: Ottawa jizz rag, Nessus shirt, Shirt of Nesus, Nessus Snuggy, Tunic of Nessus
I woke up with a cold sore after crashing at Dan's apartment after the party. I'm pretty sure he gave me the ol' Pontiac blanket because I cock-blocked him.
by The Cap N' August 10, 2020
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