13 definitions by The Cap N'

1. Urban Dictionary Illiterate.

2. When someone is too stupid to spell or grammar check a post that they want to be in Urban Dictionary.

3. When someone doesn't read or ignores the guidance on defining words in Urban Dictionary so they try to post the names of their love interest or perceived antagonist in an effort to satisfy their own ego while also neglecting to understand the finer points of stalking, slander, and libel.
1. These udilliterate kids don't seem to understand enough about real words to be able to articulate the made up definitions of fake words. They're literally unrelatable.

2. Why would these udilliterates try to define somebody's name on Urban Dictionary thinking it's going to get you laid or be a big enough slight to change the way someone is? I could list exactly how many times that's worked. Zero.

2.
by The Cap N' July 20, 2020
1
n. The distinct sound of chapped butt cheeks breaking the adhesion caused by a combination of caked skin, body hair, and fecal matter.
2
v. The act is separating the fleshy portions of the buttocks where the left and right gluteus maximus join at the anus creating a sound similar to opening old velcro.
1: I had to use the airport bathroom after a long flight and my ass made a shripp.

2: I shripped so loud that the two guys in the stall next to me giggled and one said, "Sounds like a virgin".
by The Cap N' April 25, 2021
1. A diseased or poisoned garment given to someone in order to infect or afflict them.

2. A reference to smallpox blankets allegedly given to the Pontiac Indians.

See: Ottawa jizz rag, Nessus shirt, Shirt of Nesus, Nessus Snuggy, Tunic of Nessus
I woke up with a cold sore after crashing at Dan's apartment after the party. I'm pretty sure he gave me the ol' Pontiac blanket because I cock-blocked him.
by The Cap N' August 11, 2020
When you're life is so meaningless you go out of your way to get killed by the police or a city bus in the hopes that your surviving family who wants nothing to do with your sorry ass anyways will get half the money the courts award you at the taxpayers expense. The other half goes to the lawyers and Al Sharpton.
Yeah... He was a gud boy. He was get 'n his life back together. He was going to community college and trying to record his rhymes. He dindu nuff 'n and the police shot 'em. He goan git fat ghetto life insurance doh...
by The Cap N' May 19, 2021
An inferior type of veal that doesn't compare to milk fed pure white veal in either flavor or tenderness.
Out here they got that pink veal... Slide over honey... Now pink veal you could pound that shit for two days. It'll never ever get tender you know what I mean?
by The Cap N' April 13, 2021
1. Operation Spartan Shield (OSS), Operation Enduring Freedom, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and OSS again without ever having your unit in the same place for the same unified effort so as not to mass force and be effective.

2. A tour in Southwest Asia that is analogous to plugging a hole in a dam with your fingers only to find it springing a leak somewhere else.

3. The worst 14 months of your life.
1. Remember OSSOEFKSAOSS when we were spread all over the place and had a scavenger hunt for those slack jawed idiots equipment?

2. Oh, by the way, before you go home from OSSOEFKSAOSS, you're going to have to quarantine for two weeks after quarantining for two weeks after living in an isolated population where you quarantined for two weeks.

3. OSSOEFKSAOSS was the worst deployment of my life.
by The Cap N' May 19, 2021
1. The act of tucking one's semi-erect penis behind their leg and then kicking that leg rearward in order to stimulate a fuller erection.

2. Tucking ones fully erect penis behind their leg and forcefully hiking that leg rearward in order to smack a woman performing fellatio under the chin.
1. I was taking a shower and sprang a semi so I used some hair conditioner to kick-start the dog.
2. Your ex-girlfriend kept talking while giving the weakest head I've ever received so I kick-started the dog and smacked that bitch in the face.
by The Cap N' June 19, 2020