gurgeln

The act of gargling particularly stinky semen that may or may not be somewhat pustular from the German word "gurgeln" meaning "to gargle"

That whore doesn't care if she's gurgeln or singing the National Anthem!

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 07, 2014

bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 03, 2014

klowntopia

A hypothetic, currently non-existent place where krazed klowns can go on the internet and/or facebook to express their krazed klown opinions without being the target of anti-clown activity, to wit: facebook-sponsored psychological experiments designed to use klowns, clowns, or normal people as human guinea pigs without their informed konsent.

I got Fraped on an HBO facebook page because I was "antagonistic," which meant I expressed my opinions in a way that they were not pleased by ... totally ruining my dream for an internet klowntopia.

Time-Warner, Inc. seems to discourage the idea of a klowntopia.

fraping gang-trolling trolaping klown-bashing adobe-echosigning Data-minding

by THE DOOMED STUFFING July 28, 2014

tigersaur

One who submits a word or term to Urban Dictionary and then is so offended when it is rejected that he or she rants on Urban Dictionary's facebook page that facebook is unfair and mean and that he or she will sue Urban Dictionary with an imaginary lawyer, who will supposedly make Urban Dictionary magically disappear; also, one who throws temper-tantrums that resemble those of a toddler on the internet or in public

He got so mad because he submitted "tigersaur" to Urban Dictionary and they rejected it, so he threatened to sue them; he's such a tigersaur.

Timmy turned into a tigersaur when his girlfriend dumped him and he splashed her name all over the internet.

fucktard spoil-sport Barney Fife Dwight Schrute Michael Scott intertantrum facebook litigant

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 19, 2014

the meaning of life

Esoteric phrase used often by people who think there is a meaning to life. Life, by its scientific nature, exists for no other reason than it does -- caused by evolutionary forces that began billions of years ago and which resulted ultimately in a creature that thinks everything has to have a meaning; also, death has no meaning ... get used to it and try to live as happily as you can before you're run over by a bus or your heart explodes because you've eaten too many cheeseburgers all your meaningless life

Don, what do you think the meaning of life is?
Fuck you, Jim ... and quit eating all my fucking French fries, you fucking dime-store philosopher!

cheeseburger death life philosophy realism existential nihilism pragmatism

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 29, 2014

purple unicorned

A condition caused by dropping a hit of LSD and waiting for an hour for the effects of the hallucinogen only to be disappointed that the dose was a total dud, so you take another dose and the first dose starts to kick in twenty minutes later, and then twenty minutes later the second dose begins to take effect, and within the next hour you find yourself in the middle of a parallel universe fucking a carnival ride horse that speaks in tongues; usually this state ends in arrest for multiple felonies and a good lesson learned: LSD results may vary.

1st tripper: I totally got purple unicorned last night?
2nd tripper: How come you're not in jail?
1st tripper: The carnival was closed and I just ended up in a pasture fuckin' a cow.
2nd tripper: How was she?
1st tripper: Fine ... until the bull showed up.

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 08, 2014

charlie brown

An accidental fecal discharge caused by overexcitement due to being sexually touched by a female who is way out of one's league, as when the "Peanuts" character Charlie Brown has the football taken away from him by Lucy Van Pelt just as he is about to kick it; a mere fart or mild shart does not count as a "charlie brown" due to the fact that one might easily recover sexual activity with aforementioned hot chick, whereas a full dump is almost certainly a fashion-model fuck deal-breaker

Dude ... don't tell anyone about this ... but I had a date with you-know-who last night. Yeah, I know. Fantastic, huh? Fuck you, dude! That pot roast your mother made us totally made me charlie brown it! Stop laughing, asshole! It's not funny!

premature post-sex BM stinky date-breaker bowel cock-blocker intestinal disfortitude brown-bagging it steaming goodnighter

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 21, 2014