THE DOOMED STUFFING's definitions

smugshot

A police or other law enforcement mugshot taken of an alleged criminal who poses with a pouting or smug expression, sometimes with a mischievous smirk not caused by being drunk or otherwise intoxicated and which indicates that the defendant believes he or she will beat the charge or charges against him or her quite easily when, in reality, said defendant has absolutely no chance of beating the rap because of the overwhelming evidence that exists against him, oftentimes including his own video recorded evidence of him stupidly committing the crime in the moronic desire to post his crime on YouTube.

Cop #1: Did you see Rick Perry's smugshot?
Cop #2: Yeah. Sad thing is, he'll probably totally get away with it. He's such a rich cunt with no conception of reality.
Cop #1: Well, at least he executes innocent people for the state of Texas and doesn't apologize for it.
Cop #2: Yeah, he's a total fuckin' monster. Lindsay Lohan photo op Paris Hiltonograph

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 4, 2014

pissitancy

Extreme urinary hesitancy after initially beginning a stream of urine, caused by either a rather huge enlarged prostate gland moved while fingering one's own taint or an abrupt discontinuation of said urine stream from a sudden psychological reverie about a hot young actresses' vagina being damply placed upon one's now fully erect penis

I had such a bad bout of pissitancy yesterday after I saw that teenage vampire TV show that I thought I might have to find a real vampiress to come in and drain the neck of my dick before my second head imploded! carpel-pudendum syndrome bladder cockjacking funnelblocking prostapediment urethral sludgitis pissluggishness

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 15, 2014

facebook litigant

A person (not a corporation as defined by the Supreme Court, but a real person) who threatens to bring suit against someone via a comment on facebook; usually, a facebook litigant talks about unleashing a lawyer on a person who responds negatively to his or her facebook comment, but in fact a facebook litigant has no lawyer and has only seen lawyers portrayed on television shows about lawyers written by script writers who are usually stoned when writing their scripts and have never studied law; a facebook litigant is rarely referred to as a tigersaur

John S. said Obama needed to be impeached and shot, and I commented that there was no real legal basis to proceed with impeachment and that he knew nothing about the law, so he went all facebook litigant on me and I responded with a facebook shark emoticon followed by the emoticon for shit.

What an internet Matlock, that facebook litigant fucktard!

tigersaur internet Matlock Barney Fife Michael Scott fucktard naked lawsuiter

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 20, 2014

klowntopia

A hypothetic, currently non-existent place where krazed klowns can go on the internet and/or facebook to express their krazed klown opinions without being the target of anti-clown activity, to wit: facebook-sponsored psychological experiments designed to use klowns, clowns, or normal people as human guinea pigs without their informed konsent.

I got Fraped on an HBO facebook page because I was "antagonistic," which meant I expressed my opinions in a way that they were not pleased by ... totally ruining my dream for an internet klowntopia.

Time-Warner, Inc. seems to discourage the idea of a klowntopia.

fraping gang-trolling trolaping klown-bashing adobe-echosigning Data-minding

by THE DOOMED STUFFING July 28, 2014

bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014

tigersaur

One who submits a word or term to Urban Dictionary and then is so offended when it is rejected that he or she rants on Urban Dictionary's facebook page that facebook is unfair and mean and that he or she will sue Urban Dictionary with an imaginary lawyer, who will supposedly make Urban Dictionary magically disappear; also, one who throws temper-tantrums that resemble those of a toddler on the internet or in public

He got so mad because he submitted "tigersaur" to Urban Dictionary and they rejected it, so he threatened to sue them; he's such a tigersaur.

Timmy turned into a tigersaur when his girlfriend dumped him and he splashed her name all over the internet.

fucktard spoil-sport Barney Fife Dwight Schrute Michael Scott intertantrum facebook litigant

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 19, 2014

gooping

Using Google to gather information from its accounts without having reasonable suspicion, probable cause, or a proper warrant signed by a judge, which is required when law enforcement or agents of the government collect information, which is really protected by the Fourth Amendment of the United States, an amendment that is routinely and quite commonly ignored whenever it comes to anything on the internet

Agent Joe Friday was gooping all over the FBI offices yesterday, moving from one computer to the next, consistently violating the Fourth Amendment and thus contributing to the total lack of respect that young people have for personal liberties facearresting facebooking and arraignment

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 2, 2014