THE DOOMED STUFFING's definitions

slimber

(from the combination of the words slumber and slimmer) To fall asleep on one's own enormous ass or belly and dream vividly about being thin, only to awaken suddenly to the nightmarish reality of one's own putrescent obesity

Goddamn, Skinny Pete, I ate two whole fried chickens last night and went into a deep slimber, and then I wake up to your naked skeleton ass walking around the dorm room ... you gotta start wearin' clothes or I'm gonna have to change to another dorm room!

lightmare skinny dream voguemare beverlyhills z's beach delusion emaciation psychosis lean dream

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 23, 2014

nutmegging

The ill-advised consumption of the common household spice Myristica fragrans, which, when taken in large quantities (about a tablespoon or more), will cause a minor inebriation characterized by light-headedness and intermittent mild euphoria alternating with the horrible side effects of intense nausea, severe headache, heart palpitations, abdominal pain, bone pain, muscle aches, and delirium; a cheap and unpleasant high commonly sought after by those without access to decent, safer drugs like marijuana, cocaine, opiates, and almost anything else besides Drano. May cause liver damage.

Friend #1: Man, I wish we had some pot. Mom's got nutmeg. You wanna do some nutmegging?
Friend #2: Fuck you, man ... the last time we did that I couldn't shit for three days and I felt like I wished I was only sick with a terrible case of the fucking FLU! I'll never forgive you for that SHIT!
Friend #1: SORRY! Instead of nutmegging, you wanna inhale some gasoline fumes?
Friend #2: Yeah, that'll suck ... but at least it's not fucking NUTMEGGING! I'll get the gas can and the paper bag.
Friend #1: Cool. You're a real friend. stupid Colorado medical emergency

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 4, 2014

seizure-and-forfeiture

A law in the United States, since 1984; law enforcement authorities are allowed to confiscate cash money they have reason to believe has not been legitimately obtained, and even if no charges are filed against the person whose cash is confiscated the owner must go to court to prove legitimate ownership of the confiscated cash; also known as legal robbery, this confiscated cash often goes towards funding helicopters for rural sheriff's departments and assault vehicles for Podunk towns that have no real use for them

Why are you taking my money, officer ... I was saving up to buy a motorboat with it .... What do you mean, I seem suspicious? What the fuck is seizure-and-forfeiture?

legal robbery civilian asset dispersion possession of cash suspicious money-holder guilty until proven innocent drug-war funding

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 24, 2014

pissitancy

Extreme urinary hesitancy after initially beginning a stream of urine, caused by either a rather huge enlarged prostate gland moved while fingering one's own taint or an abrupt discontinuation of said urine stream from a sudden psychological reverie about a hot young actresses' vagina being damply placed upon one's now fully erect penis

I had such a bad bout of pissitancy yesterday after I saw that teenage vampire TV show that I thought I might have to find a real vampiress to come in and drain the neck of my dick before my second head imploded! carpel-pudendum syndrome bladder cockjacking funnelblocking prostapediment urethral sludgitis pissluggishness

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 15, 2014

tigersaur

One who submits a word or term to Urban Dictionary and then is so offended when it is rejected that he or she rants on Urban Dictionary's facebook page that facebook is unfair and mean and that he or she will sue Urban Dictionary with an imaginary lawyer, who will supposedly make Urban Dictionary magically disappear; also, one who throws temper-tantrums that resemble those of a toddler on the internet or in public

He got so mad because he submitted "tigersaur" to Urban Dictionary and they rejected it, so he threatened to sue them; he's such a tigersaur.

Timmy turned into a tigersaur when his girlfriend dumped him and he splashed her name all over the internet.

fucktard spoil-sport Barney Fife Dwight Schrute Michael Scott intertantrum facebook litigant

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 19, 2014

facebook litigant

A person (not a corporation as defined by the Supreme Court, but a real person) who threatens to bring suit against someone via a comment on facebook; usually, a facebook litigant talks about unleashing a lawyer on a person who responds negatively to his or her facebook comment, but in fact a facebook litigant has no lawyer and has only seen lawyers portrayed on television shows about lawyers written by script writers who are usually stoned when writing their scripts and have never studied law; a facebook litigant is rarely referred to as a tigersaur

John S. said Obama needed to be impeached and shot, and I commented that there was no real legal basis to proceed with impeachment and that he knew nothing about the law, so he went all facebook litigant on me and I responded with a facebook shark emoticon followed by the emoticon for shit.

What an internet Matlock, that facebook litigant fucktard!

tigersaur internet Matlock Barney Fife Michael Scott fucktard naked lawsuiter

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 20, 2014

WikiSnob

A snob who trolls facebook comments for any reference to Wikipedia as a source, always to denounce any fact, however true it might be, merely because it has been sourced to Wikipedia, ignoring the fact that the supercomputer Watson, which cannot be beaten by humans on the television show "Jeopardy," uses Wikipedia, as well as other internet resources, to destroy its human challengers

I commented to the global warming theory-denying Ph.D. that he probably still thought that the Earth is round, and he said I must've read about global warming on Wikipedia, and when I called him a WikiSnob, he called me an idiot and blocked me. flat-earther Galileo-guard de-evolutionary creationist doctorate of cryptometeorological denialism academic Exxon whore

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 15, 2014