THE DOOMED STUFFING's definitions

the meaning of life

Esoteric phrase used often by people who think there is a meaning to life. Life, by its scientific nature, exists for no other reason than it does -- caused by evolutionary forces that began billions of years ago and which resulted ultimately in a creature that thinks everything has to have a meaning; also, death has no meaning ... get used to it and try to live as happily as you can before you're run over by a bus or your heart explodes because you've eaten too many cheeseburgers all your meaningless life

Don, what do you think the meaning of life is?
Fuck you, Jim ... and quit eating all my fucking French fries, you fucking dime-store philosopher!

cheeseburger death life philosophy realism existential nihilism pragmatism

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 29, 2014

grapewrath

(From the novel "The Grapes of Wrath," wherein at the climax of the novel the character Rose of Sharon suckles a starving man after her nursing baby dies) To suck on a woman's lactating breasts and get milk from them, sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose

Mitch: "I was suckin' on Melanie's tits last night while she was falling asleep and I swallowed some of the baby's milk."
Mitch's friend: "Awesome, dude! You grapewrath a lot?"
Mitch (frowning): "It wasn't awesome, dude. Grapewrathing isn't as enjoyable as babies make it seem."

suckling breastfeeding lactation mooching accidental colostrum milking mama before the cow

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 26, 2014

Earthling

A creature, scientifically referred to by academic English-speaking Earthlings as Homo sapiens sapiens, related most closely to a creature called a chimpanzee, which Earthlings generally use to entertain themselves at places called zoos, where the chimpanzees are frequently known to go on rampages due to abuse by Earthlings and eat the faces off Earthlings; this Homo sapiens sapiens is filled with a self-aggrandizing sense of its own intelligence, which is weak even by galactic standards, let alone cosmic standards. As visitors from the outer reaches of the cosmos, it is our duty to study these morons and see if we can make them treat the Earth better, so that our plans to eventually wipe them out and re-colonize the Earth with our smarter pets and animals will not be hindered by Earthling-caused global warming and climate change

That Earthling is trying to brush his teeth with a paintbrush; he must be one of their professors.

Earthlings are so stupid, Gipponik4, I don't know how I'll be able to tolerate not incinerating them all before it's time.

Be content with probing their Midwestern farmers, Jeppid6.

humanoid alien monkey relative naked ape climate-change denier

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 23, 2014

facebook litigant

A person (not a corporation as defined by the Supreme Court, but a real person) who threatens to bring suit against someone via a comment on facebook; usually, a facebook litigant talks about unleashing a lawyer on a person who responds negatively to his or her facebook comment, but in fact a facebook litigant has no lawyer and has only seen lawyers portrayed on television shows about lawyers written by script writers who are usually stoned when writing their scripts and have never studied law; a facebook litigant is rarely referred to as a tigersaur

John S. said Obama needed to be impeached and shot, and I commented that there was no real legal basis to proceed with impeachment and that he knew nothing about the law, so he went all facebook litigant on me and I responded with a facebook shark emoticon followed by the emoticon for shit.

What an internet Matlock, that facebook litigant fucktard!

tigersaur internet Matlock Barney Fife Michael Scott fucktard naked lawsuiter

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 20, 2014

gooping

Using Google to gather information from its accounts without having reasonable suspicion, probable cause, or a proper warrant signed by a judge, which is required when law enforcement or agents of the government collect information, which is really protected by the Fourth Amendment of the United States, an amendment that is routinely and quite commonly ignored whenever it comes to anything on the internet

Agent Joe Friday was gooping all over the FBI offices yesterday, moving from one computer to the next, consistently violating the Fourth Amendment and thus contributing to the total lack of respect that young people have for personal liberties facearresting facebooking and arraignment

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 2, 2014

smugshot

A police or other law enforcement mugshot taken of an alleged criminal who poses with a pouting or smug expression, sometimes with a mischievous smirk not caused by being drunk or otherwise intoxicated and which indicates that the defendant believes he or she will beat the charge or charges against him or her quite easily when, in reality, said defendant has absolutely no chance of beating the rap because of the overwhelming evidence that exists against him, oftentimes including his own video recorded evidence of him stupidly committing the crime in the moronic desire to post his crime on YouTube.

Cop #1: Did you see Rick Perry's smugshot?
Cop #2: Yeah. Sad thing is, he'll probably totally get away with it. He's such a rich cunt with no conception of reality.
Cop #1: Well, at least he executes innocent people for the state of Texas and doesn't apologize for it.
Cop #2: Yeah, he's a total fuckin' monster. Lindsay Lohan photo op Paris Hiltonograph

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 4, 2014

facenazi

a troll or regular commenter on facebook public pages who makes ethnically or culturally insensitive, bigoted, prejudicial, or downright racist comments without fear of ever being blocked by facebook's esoteric community standards policy, no matter how unabashedly racist the comment might be

face-ist bigot trollist neo-Nazi friend-requested Hitler Klanbooker

"Did I just read that comment correctly from this facenazi?"
"What'd she say?"
"That black people don't wash themselves."
"Block her or report her to facebook."
"I reported her, but they say she hasn't violated any community standards and won't remove the comment."
"Welcome to free speech, I guess. All I can say is, you should comment that her vagina smells like her father's penis."
"I did. And facebook removed my comment."

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 27, 2014