pissitancy

Extreme urinary hesitancy after initially beginning a stream of urine, caused by either a rather huge enlarged prostate gland moved while fingering one's own taint or an abrupt discontinuation of said urine stream from a sudden psychological reverie about a hot young actresses' vagina being damply placed upon one's now fully erect penis

I had such a bad bout of pissitancy yesterday after I saw that teenage vampire TV show that I thought I might have to find a real vampiress to come in and drain the neck of my dick before my second head imploded! carpel-pudendum syndrome bladder cockjacking funnelblocking prostapediment urethral sludgitis pissluggishness

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 15, 2014

Earthling

A creature, scientifically referred to by academic English-speaking Earthlings as Homo sapiens sapiens, related most closely to a creature called a chimpanzee, which Earthlings generally use to entertain themselves at places called zoos, where the chimpanzees are frequently known to go on rampages due to abuse by Earthlings and eat the faces off Earthlings; this Homo sapiens sapiens is filled with a self-aggrandizing sense of its own intelligence, which is weak even by galactic standards, let alone cosmic standards. As visitors from the outer reaches of the cosmos, it is our duty to study these morons and see if we can make them treat the Earth better, so that our plans to eventually wipe them out and re-colonize the Earth with our smarter pets and animals will not be hindered by Earthling-caused global warming and climate change

That Earthling is trying to brush his teeth with a paintbrush; he must be one of their professors.

Earthlings are so stupid, Gipponik4, I don't know how I'll be able to tolerate not incinerating them all before it's time.

Be content with probing their Midwestern farmers, Jeppid6.

humanoid alien monkey relative naked ape climate-change denier

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 23, 2014

facebook litigant

A person (not a corporation as defined by the Supreme Court, but a real person) who threatens to bring suit against someone via a comment on facebook; usually, a facebook litigant talks about unleashing a lawyer on a person who responds negatively to his or her facebook comment, but in fact a facebook litigant has no lawyer and has only seen lawyers portrayed on television shows about lawyers written by script writers who are usually stoned when writing their scripts and have never studied law; a facebook litigant is rarely referred to as a tigersaur

John S. said Obama needed to be impeached and shot, and I commented that there was no real legal basis to proceed with impeachment and that he knew nothing about the law, so he went all facebook litigant on me and I responded with a facebook shark emoticon followed by the emoticon for shit.

What an internet Matlock, that facebook litigant fucktard!

tigersaur internet Matlock Barney Fife Michael Scott fucktard naked lawsuiter

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 20, 2014

facenazi

a troll or regular commenter on facebook public pages who makes ethnically or culturally insensitive, bigoted, prejudicial, or downright racist comments without fear of ever being blocked by facebook's esoteric community standards policy, no matter how unabashedly racist the comment might be

face-ist bigot trollist neo-Nazi friend-requested Hitler Klanbooker

"Did I just read that comment correctly from this facenazi?"
"What'd she say?"
"That black people don't wash themselves."
"Block her or report her to facebook."
"I reported her, but they say she hasn't violated any community standards and won't remove the comment."
"Welcome to free speech, I guess. All I can say is, you should comment that her vagina smells like her father's penis."
"I did. And facebook removed my comment."

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 27, 2014

coplaw

(From the combination of the words "cop" and "law") a noun that refers to the illegal and unethical special privileges afforded to police officers and other authorities and officials, who are not obligated as often as civilians to follow official laws and not obligated to suffer the same consequences or punishments by actual laws compared to civilians; a type of unofficial double standard that is almost never publicly acknowledged by officials, authorities, or police officers but with which most of the public is all too familiar; often, if not always, leads to rampant corruption of authorities

"The cop got arrested for malfeasance."
"For what malfeasance?"
"The media didn't say. There's something called an 'Officer's Bill of Rights' that protects cops and other officials from the media publishing details of the charges against them, even after arrest. It's just coplaw, ya know."
"Oh, coplaw. Why didn't you just say that?"
"I found out later the cop got arrested for Schedule II drug violations while on duty, but that was after I kept pestering the media for more information."
"Coplaw sucks so much."

double standard innocence by official position Too Cop to Arrest scofflaw non-felony felony by cop preferential justice media-protected police

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 24, 2014

seizure-and-forfeiture

A law in the United States, since 1984; law enforcement authorities are allowed to confiscate cash money they have reason to believe has not been legitimately obtained, and even if no charges are filed against the person whose cash is confiscated the owner must go to court to prove legitimate ownership of the confiscated cash; also known as legal robbery, this confiscated cash often goes towards funding helicopters for rural sheriff's departments and assault vehicles for Podunk towns that have no real use for them

Why are you taking my money, officer ... I was saving up to buy a motorboat with it .... What do you mean, I seem suspicious? What the fuck is seizure-and-forfeiture?

legal robbery civilian asset dispersion possession of cash suspicious money-holder guilty until proven innocent drug-war funding

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 24, 2014

slimber

(from the combination of the words slumber and slimmer) To fall asleep on one's own enormous ass or belly and dream vividly about being thin, only to awaken suddenly to the nightmarish reality of one's own putrescent obesity

Goddamn, Skinny Pete, I ate two whole fried chickens last night and went into a deep slimber, and then I wake up to your naked skeleton ass walking around the dorm room ... you gotta start wearin' clothes or I'm gonna have to change to another dorm room!

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by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 23, 2014