THE DOOMED STUFFING's definitions

the meaning of life

Esoteric phrase used often by people who think there is a meaning to life. Life, by its scientific nature, exists for no other reason than it does -- caused by evolutionary forces that began billions of years ago and which resulted ultimately in a creature that thinks everything has to have a meaning; also, death has no meaning ... get used to it and try to live as happily as you can before you're run over by a bus or your heart explodes because you've eaten too many cheeseburgers all your meaningless life

Don, what do you think the meaning of life is?
Fuck you, Jim ... and quit eating all my fucking French fries, you fucking dime-store philosopher!

cheeseburger death life philosophy realism existential nihilism pragmatism

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 29, 2014

gurgeln

The act of gargling particularly stinky semen that may or may not be somewhat pustular from the German word "gurgeln" meaning "to gargle"

That whore doesn't care if she's gurgeln or singing the National Anthem!

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 7, 2014

tigersaur

One who submits a word or term to Urban Dictionary and then is so offended when it is rejected that he or she rants on Urban Dictionary's facebook page that facebook is unfair and mean and that he or she will sue Urban Dictionary with an imaginary lawyer, who will supposedly make Urban Dictionary magically disappear; also, one who throws temper-tantrums that resemble those of a toddler on the internet or in public

He got so mad because he submitted "tigersaur" to Urban Dictionary and they rejected it, so he threatened to sue them; he's such a tigersaur.

Timmy turned into a tigersaur when his girlfriend dumped him and he splashed her name all over the internet.

fucktard spoil-sport Barney Fife Dwight Schrute Michael Scott intertantrum facebook litigant

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 19, 2014

facenazi

a troll or regular commenter on facebook public pages who makes ethnically or culturally insensitive, bigoted, prejudicial, or downright racist comments without fear of ever being blocked by facebook's esoteric community standards policy, no matter how unabashedly racist the comment might be

face-ist bigot trollist neo-Nazi friend-requested Hitler Klanbooker

"Did I just read that comment correctly from this facenazi?"
"What'd she say?"
"That black people don't wash themselves."
"Block her or report her to facebook."
"I reported her, but they say she hasn't violated any community standards and won't remove the comment."
"Welcome to free speech, I guess. All I can say is, you should comment that her vagina smells like her father's penis."
"I did. And facebook removed my comment."

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 27, 2014

Earthling

A creature, scientifically referred to by academic English-speaking Earthlings as Homo sapiens sapiens, related most closely to a creature called a chimpanzee, which Earthlings generally use to entertain themselves at places called zoos, where the chimpanzees are frequently known to go on rampages due to abuse by Earthlings and eat the faces off Earthlings; this Homo sapiens sapiens is filled with a self-aggrandizing sense of its own intelligence, which is weak even by galactic standards, let alone cosmic standards. As visitors from the outer reaches of the cosmos, it is our duty to study these morons and see if we can make them treat the Earth better, so that our plans to eventually wipe them out and re-colonize the Earth with our smarter pets and animals will not be hindered by Earthling-caused global warming and climate change

That Earthling is trying to brush his teeth with a paintbrush; he must be one of their professors.

Earthlings are so stupid, Gipponik4, I don't know how I'll be able to tolerate not incinerating them all before it's time.

Be content with probing their Midwestern farmers, Jeppid6.

humanoid alien monkey relative naked ape climate-change denier

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 23, 2014

facebook litigant

A person (not a corporation as defined by the Supreme Court, but a real person) who threatens to bring suit against someone via a comment on facebook; usually, a facebook litigant talks about unleashing a lawyer on a person who responds negatively to his or her facebook comment, but in fact a facebook litigant has no lawyer and has only seen lawyers portrayed on television shows about lawyers written by script writers who are usually stoned when writing their scripts and have never studied law; a facebook litigant is rarely referred to as a tigersaur

John S. said Obama needed to be impeached and shot, and I commented that there was no real legal basis to proceed with impeachment and that he knew nothing about the law, so he went all facebook litigant on me and I responded with a facebook shark emoticon followed by the emoticon for shit.

What an internet Matlock, that facebook litigant fucktard!

tigersaur internet Matlock Barney Fife Michael Scott fucktard naked lawsuiter

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 20, 2014

bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014