THE DOOMED STUFFING's definitions

bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014

klowntopia

A hypothetic, currently non-existent place where krazed klowns can go on the internet and/or facebook to express their krazed klown opinions without being the target of anti-clown activity, to wit: facebook-sponsored psychological experiments designed to use klowns, clowns, or normal people as human guinea pigs without their informed konsent.

I got Fraped on an HBO facebook page because I was "antagonistic," which meant I expressed my opinions in a way that they were not pleased by ... totally ruining my dream for an internet klowntopia.

Time-Warner, Inc. seems to discourage the idea of a klowntopia.

fraping gang-trolling trolaping klown-bashing adobe-echosigning Data-minding

by THE DOOMED STUFFING July 28, 2014

WikiSnob

A snob who trolls facebook comments for any reference to Wikipedia as a source, always to denounce any fact, however true it might be, merely because it has been sourced to Wikipedia, ignoring the fact that the supercomputer Watson, which cannot be beaten by humans on the television show "Jeopardy," uses Wikipedia, as well as other internet resources, to destroy its human challengers

I commented to the global warming theory-denying Ph.D. that he probably still thought that the Earth is round, and he said I must've read about global warming on Wikipedia, and when I called him a WikiSnob, he called me an idiot and blocked me. flat-earther Galileo-guard de-evolutionary creationist doctorate of cryptometeorological denialism academic Exxon whore

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 15, 2014

pugno

To balk or refuse to be anally fisted from the Latin, "pugno," literally "fist"

I stuffed my meathook into her ass, but she got all pugno on me.
She does a lot she doesn't want to if I tell her I'll marry her, but she's totally pugno.
Pugno means I don't love you as much as I could.
She's a total pugno tease. I think she's so pugno because of her hemorrhoids.

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 7, 2014

the meaning of life

Esoteric phrase used often by people who think there is a meaning to life. Life, by its scientific nature, exists for no other reason than it does -- caused by evolutionary forces that began billions of years ago and which resulted ultimately in a creature that thinks everything has to have a meaning; also, death has no meaning ... get used to it and try to live as happily as you can before you're run over by a bus or your heart explodes because you've eaten too many cheeseburgers all your meaningless life

Don, what do you think the meaning of life is?
Fuck you, Jim ... and quit eating all my fucking French fries, you fucking dime-store philosopher!

cheeseburger death life philosophy realism existential nihilism pragmatism

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 29, 2014

grapewrath

(From the novel "The Grapes of Wrath," wherein at the climax of the novel the character Rose of Sharon suckles a starving man after her nursing baby dies) To suck on a woman's lactating breasts and get milk from them, sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose

Mitch: "I was suckin' on Melanie's tits last night while she was falling asleep and I swallowed some of the baby's milk."
Mitch's friend: "Awesome, dude! You grapewrath a lot?"
Mitch (frowning): "It wasn't awesome, dude. Grapewrathing isn't as enjoyable as babies make it seem."

suckling breastfeeding lactation mooching accidental colostrum milking mama before the cow

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 26, 2014

tigersaur

One who submits a word or term to Urban Dictionary and then is so offended when it is rejected that he or she rants on Urban Dictionary's facebook page that facebook is unfair and mean and that he or she will sue Urban Dictionary with an imaginary lawyer, who will supposedly make Urban Dictionary magically disappear; also, one who throws temper-tantrums that resemble those of a toddler on the internet or in public

He got so mad because he submitted "tigersaur" to Urban Dictionary and they rejected it, so he threatened to sue them; he's such a tigersaur.

Timmy turned into a tigersaur when his girlfriend dumped him and he splashed her name all over the internet.

fucktard spoil-sport Barney Fife Dwight Schrute Michael Scott intertantrum facebook litigant

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 19, 2014