nutmegging

The ill-advised consumption of the common household spice Myristica fragrans, which, when taken in large quantities (about a tablespoon or more), will cause a minor inebriation characterized by light-headedness and intermittent mild euphoria alternating with the horrible side effects of intense nausea, severe headache, heart palpitations, abdominal pain, bone pain, muscle aches, and delirium; a cheap and unpleasant high commonly sought after by those without access to decent, safer drugs like marijuana, cocaine, opiates, and almost anything else besides Drano. May cause liver damage.

Friend #1: Man, I wish we had some pot. Mom's got nutmeg. You wanna do some nutmegging?
Friend #2: Fuck you, man ... the last time we did that I couldn't shit for three days and I felt like I wished I was only sick with a terrible case of the fucking FLU! I'll never forgive you for that SHIT!
Friend #1: SORRY! Instead of nutmegging, you wanna inhale some gasoline fumes?
Friend #2: Yeah, that'll suck ... but at least it's not fucking NUTMEGGING! I'll get the gas can and the paper bag.
Friend #1: Cool. You're a real friend. stupid Colorado medical emergency

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 04, 2014

coplaw

(From the combination of the words "cop" and "law") a noun that refers to the illegal and unethical special privileges afforded to police officers and other authorities and officials, who are not obligated as often as civilians to follow official laws and not obligated to suffer the same consequences or punishments by actual laws compared to civilians; a type of unofficial double standard that is almost never publicly acknowledged by officials, authorities, or police officers but with which most of the public is all too familiar; often, if not always, leads to rampant corruption of authorities

"The cop got arrested for malfeasance."
"For what malfeasance?"
"The media didn't say. There's something called an 'Officer's Bill of Rights' that protects cops and other officials from the media publishing details of the charges against them, even after arrest. It's just coplaw, ya know."
"Oh, coplaw. Why didn't you just say that?"
"I found out later the cop got arrested for Schedule II drug violations while on duty, but that was after I kept pestering the media for more information."
"Coplaw sucks so much."

double standard innocence by official position Too Cop to Arrest scofflaw non-felony felony by cop preferential justice media-protected police

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 24, 2014

facenazi

a troll or regular commenter on facebook public pages who makes ethnically or culturally insensitive, bigoted, prejudicial, or downright racist comments without fear of ever being blocked by facebook's esoteric community standards policy, no matter how unabashedly racist the comment might be

face-ist bigot trollist neo-Nazi friend-requested Hitler Klanbooker

"Did I just read that comment correctly from this facenazi?"
"What'd she say?"
"That black people don't wash themselves."
"Block her or report her to facebook."
"I reported her, but they say she hasn't violated any community standards and won't remove the comment."
"Welcome to free speech, I guess. All I can say is, you should comment that her vagina smells like her father's penis."
"I did. And facebook removed my comment."

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 27, 2014

seizure-and-forfeiture

A law in the United States, since 1984; law enforcement authorities are allowed to confiscate cash money they have reason to believe has not been legitimately obtained, and even if no charges are filed against the person whose cash is confiscated the owner must go to court to prove legitimate ownership of the confiscated cash; also known as legal robbery, this confiscated cash often goes towards funding helicopters for rural sheriff's departments and assault vehicles for Podunk towns that have no real use for them

Why are you taking my money, officer ... I was saving up to buy a motorboat with it .... What do you mean, I seem suspicious? What the fuck is seizure-and-forfeiture?

legal robbery civilian asset dispersion possession of cash suspicious money-holder guilty until proven innocent drug-war funding

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 24, 2014

bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 03, 2014

klowntopia

A hypothetic, currently non-existent place where krazed klowns can go on the internet and/or facebook to express their krazed klown opinions without being the target of anti-clown activity, to wit: facebook-sponsored psychological experiments designed to use klowns, clowns, or normal people as human guinea pigs without their informed konsent.

I got Fraped on an HBO facebook page because I was "antagonistic," which meant I expressed my opinions in a way that they were not pleased by ... totally ruining my dream for an internet klowntopia.

Time-Warner, Inc. seems to discourage the idea of a klowntopia.

fraping gang-trolling trolaping klown-bashing adobe-echosigning Data-minding

by THE DOOMED STUFFING July 28, 2014

gurgeln

The act of gargling particularly stinky semen that may or may not be somewhat pustular from the German word "gurgeln" meaning "to gargle"

That whore doesn't care if she's gurgeln or singing the National Anthem!

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 07, 2014