Stormsworder's definitions
A power-mad dwarf who is the enemy of the popular video game character Crash Bandicoot. He is bald with a black beard and an 'N' on his forehead (it's never made clear whether the 'N' is a tattoo or some kind of metal plate). When he was a child, Cortex attended the Academy of Evil where he was mercilessly bullied by the other children and by the tyrannical headmistress Madame Amberley. From an early age he developed a love of torturing and experimenting on animals. In later life he became a scientist, but was ridiculed and shunned by the scientific world for his outlandish ideas. So he enlisted the help of N.Brio, another outcast scientist, in his plan to take over the world and avenge himself against all those people who had mocked him all his life. N.Brio had built the Evolvo-Ray, a machine which could cause rapid evolution in animals. Cortex took control of it, set about turning animals into an army of soldiers. Crash Bandicoot was one of the animals he used the Evolvo-Ray on, but there was a malfunction and Crash escaped, soon became his enemy. After many defeats at the hands of Crash, his sister Coco and a mask containing the spirit of a witch-doctor, Cortex is still obsessed with ruling the world. But first he intends to destroy Crash Bandicoot....
Dr Neo Cortex: Crash, Crash, Crash. Why must you always muck in my mud? Oh look, I have a mask helping me too! We will see which one is more powerful soon enough!
by StormSworder August 13, 2006
Get the Dr Neo Cortexmug. Proof that you don't need talent to make it in this world. Mel Gibson has made a fortune simply through looking nice. He is a rubbish actor and a rubbish director, and now he is being forced to resort to blatant xenophobic propaganda in order to make anyone notice his so-called movies.
Mel Gibson should have been a Nazi propagandist. They used to churn out films filled with this kind of propaganda and hatred against other countries and Jewish people.
by Stormsworder November 24, 2006
Get the mel gibsonmug. A take-the-money-and-run online dating agency who cancel your account whenever they feel like it, refuse to answer your e-mails and never refund your money. On-line frauds.
"Dateline have just terminated my account, despite the fact I've paid for another five months of membership yet, and the snotty fuckers won't even answer my e-mails to tell me what is going on".
"Don't worry. Dateline is for Russian immigrants trying to claim citizenship by marrying someone in this country, stuck-up bitches who think only someone with the looks of a film star is good enough for them, and predatory perverts who are only out for what they can get".
"Don't worry. Dateline is for Russian immigrants trying to claim citizenship by marrying someone in this country, stuck-up bitches who think only someone with the looks of a film star is good enough for them, and predatory perverts who are only out for what they can get".
by Stormsworder September 25, 2007
Get the datelinemug. One of evolution's greatest success stories. There are spiders all over the world, and the oldest known fossil spider is 380 million years old. Spiders are eight-legged and carnivorous, use silk in a variety of ways depending on the species. Many spin cobwebs to catch prey, larger spiders line the edge of their burrows with web. The bolas spider is named because it throws a line of web ending in a sticky lump to catch prey. Spiders inspire fear and revulsion, quite undeserved, but probably not helped by years of movies telling us spiders are humanity's enemies. Schools are not much more helpful. I still remember a science teacher telling us a black widow was the size of a human hand, which is rubbish. There are some dangerously venomous spiders, like widow spiders, funnelweb spiders, brown recluse spiders and brazilian wandering spiders, but they are a tiny minority of the huge number of spiders in the world. Just to drag some widely-held beliefs into the light of reality:
1: Spiders are not watching you. Most, apart from some jumping spiders, have very poor eyesight.
2: Spiders do not come out of plug-holes. A spider in the bath has fallen down there and can't get out due to the bath's slippery sides.
3: Large hairy spiders are not automatically dangerous. In fact nobody has ever died from a tarantula bite.
4: Women are not automatically scared of spiders. In fact most of the calls the British Tarantula Society gets regarding fear of spiders are from worried men.
1: Spiders are not watching you. Most, apart from some jumping spiders, have very poor eyesight.
2: Spiders do not come out of plug-holes. A spider in the bath has fallen down there and can't get out due to the bath's slippery sides.
3: Large hairy spiders are not automatically dangerous. In fact nobody has ever died from a tarantula bite.
4: Women are not automatically scared of spiders. In fact most of the calls the British Tarantula Society gets regarding fear of spiders are from worried men.
Hysterical person: Help! I saw a spider! I'm not going to bed! It might be there waiting for me!
Other person: What makes you think any self-respecting spiders would want to get into your bed?
Other person: What makes you think any self-respecting spiders would want to get into your bed?
by StormSworder August 15, 2006
Get the spidermug. A way of making the government yet more money, cynically disguised as a way of stopping accidents. As with most of this government's ways of conning the public, anyone with an IQ of over 15 can work out it's just a con. Often speeding signs are not clearly visible (my mother was caught out like this), and in Luton a couple of years ago there were ten (!) police officers standing on a roadside stopping cars at random in the hope that one of the drivers might not have insurance or an up-to-date tax disc. Given the crime rate in Luton, is anyone out there seriously going to tell me they had nothing better to do? But back to the point. I'm not in favour of speeding (I saw a lunatic using a housing estate as a race track), but 5% of accidents are due to speeding. Speed cameras can't stop people driving like they're on the dodgems. And now people are having to keep a constant eye on their speed-o-meters, thus are distracted from the road ahead. Nice one, New Labour.
In court this morning a man was fined £200 and 18 months loss of license after being caught speeding by one of the speed cameras. In the next court-room a man was let off with a warning for GBH.
by Stormsworder October 17, 2006
Get the speed camerasmug. 1: An opossum is a marsupial from the United States. A Pasadena Opossum is presumably one from Pasadena. There are three cities in the US with this name, one in Texas, one in California and another in Maryland.
2: A character from the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. Pasadena is a tall slim female created by eccentric scientist Dr Van Clutch to compete in cart races around his theme park. Pasadena has a Texan accent and her long tail is used as a third hand. She comes across as a bit of a stereotype valley girl. It is obvious she fancies Crash, though the feeling is not mutual.
2: A character from the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. Pasadena is a tall slim female created by eccentric scientist Dr Van Clutch to compete in cart races around his theme park. Pasadena has a Texan accent and her long tail is used as a third hand. She comes across as a bit of a stereotype valley girl. It is obvious she fancies Crash, though the feeling is not mutual.
"That Pasadena Opossum is just gorgeous. I wouldn't mind going round the track with her a few times".
Seek urgent help.
Seek urgent help.
by Stormsworder January 12, 2007
Get the pasadena opossummug. 1: The parent star of our planet.
2: A so-called newspaper which you need an IQ of less than 12 to fully appreciate.
2: A so-called newspaper which you need an IQ of less than 12 to fully appreciate.
There are millions of stars in this galaxy alone, let alone all the countless other galaxies. If every star is a sun, there could be countless Earth-like worlds.
by Stormsworder November 16, 2006
Get the sunmug.