75 definitions by StormSworder
A take-the-money-and-run online dating agency who cancel your account whenever they feel like it, refuse to answer your e-mails and never refund your money. On-line frauds.
"Dateline have just terminated my account, despite the fact I've paid for another five months of membership yet, and the snotty fuckers won't even answer my e-mails to tell me what is going on".
"Don't worry. Dateline is for Russian immigrants trying to claim citizenship by marrying someone in this country, stuck-up bitches who think only someone with the looks of a film star is good enough for them, and predatory perverts who are only out for what they can get".
"Don't worry. Dateline is for Russian immigrants trying to claim citizenship by marrying someone in this country, stuck-up bitches who think only someone with the looks of a film star is good enough for them, and predatory perverts who are only out for what they can get".
by StormSworder September 13, 2007
1: A formidable woman.
2: One of the zoids (mechanical monsters released as wind-up and battery-operated toys, made in Japan). A Hellcat zoid looks like some kind of big cat, possibly a panther or cheetah. Its first UK release was in 1986. It was re-released in Japan in 1999 with a spelling mistake on its box (Helcat).
2: One of the zoids (mechanical monsters released as wind-up and battery-operated toys, made in Japan). A Hellcat zoid looks like some kind of big cat, possibly a panther or cheetah. Its first UK release was in 1986. It was re-released in Japan in 1999 with a spelling mistake on its box (Helcat).
That mother of my girlfriend Alice is a right hellcat. Apparently she once bit a teacher's nose off after Alice was given a detention for not doing her homework.
by StormSworder August 15, 2006
George W Bush is a man who has made more false claims about his past than Jeffrey Archer. When he was governer of Texas he sent the state police out to arrest peaceful demonstrators. His company 'quietly' bought up over 200 anti-Bush Internet domain names. He has given large amounts of state money to repay certain people for contributing large amounts of cash to his campaign and to repay others for making him personally rich through insider business deals. He made personal profits from failing oil companies, sold 60% of his oil stock for over $840,000 two months before Kuwait was invaded (how very well timed!) and he used government coercion to make him a private fortune. He and his lapdog Blair have between them brought us to the brink of global war, have taken away rights in the name of anti-terrorism whilst doing nothing about the real terrorists. After the capture of Saddam (whose trial is a ridiculous farce, with the ex-dictator running rings around everyone), it's now been realised that Saddam was the only thing keeping Iran in check. Let's be honest, the only mistake Saddam made was invading a country which supplied America with cheap oil. Our 'allies' in the Gulf Wars themselves have terrible human rights records and have invaded other countries. Every time Bush opens his mouth I wonder what half-educated Stan Laurel-type blitherings are going to come out of it next. George W Bush is the final proof, if any were needed, that the world is run by big business and not politicians, and big businessmen don't want anyone with an IQ in power in case he starts thinking for himself.
George Bush: "People misunderestimate me".
"More and more of our imports are coming from a abroad"
"That was the most logical and common sensical thing to do"
by StormSworder August 14, 2006
Originally the name 'tarantula' was given to a species of wolf spider in Italy which was blamed for venomous spider bites which locals tried to cure by performing a dance. In fact the spider bites were inflicted by a species of widow spider. But the widow spiders are small and look insignificant, whilst wolf spiders are bigger and hairy, so the wolf spider was blamed. To this day many people judge how venomous a spider is on its size, which is completely inaccurate. Wolf spiders are harmless. These days the name 'tarantula' is used to describe any spider of the Theraphosid family. This family has something like 800 known species in Africa, Mid and South America and Asia, with many more no doubt still undiscovered. The tarantulas (or Theraphosids) are the giants of the spider world, the biggest with leg-spans which could cover a dinner plate (a Goliath Birdeater with a 12-inch leg-span I think is the record). Though some tarantulas live in trees, most are ground-dwellers and the live in burrows. They line the entrances of their burrows with silk. Though tarantulas have no senses of hearing or smell and very poor vision, they have a very developed sense of touch. The hairs on their legs can detect the slightest air or ground vibration, and the lines of silk they lay down around their burrows are almost like extentions of their legs. Any small animal touching one of those threads will instantly alert the tarantula. Tarantulas feed on anything from crickets, locusts and cockroaches to rodents, small snakes and small lizards. Despite the fact they are often known as 'bird-eating spiders' in the US, it is probably very rare for a tarantula to eat a bird, though tree-climbing tarantulas can easily help themselves to a chick when a parent bird is away from its nest. With their basic webs they are thought to be the earliest form of spider, date back over 350 million years. When threatened or annoyed, tarantulas rear up on their back legs and bare their fangs. Some can even make a hissing/rustling noise by rubbing bristles on their jaws together. Tarantulas do not eat solid food. When a tarantula feeds, it injects a digestive fluid into its prey through its fangs. The prey is then gradually liquidised and absorbed into the mouth in a similar way to water being absorbed into a sponge. Tarantulas breathe through gill-like openings in the underside of their abdomens called 'book lungs'. When tarantulas mate, the male inserts sperm from his pedipalps ('feelers') into an opening under the female's body. Female tarantulas are larger and stronger than the more spindly-looking males, can live anything up to ten or twenty years, maybe longer depending on the species. Once the male has reached full size he can't hope to live eighteen months at the most. Despite the hooks on his front legs (for holding the female's fangs) he maybe be eaten after (or even before) mating. Tarantulas shed their skins, on average once a year. They can cast off a damaged limb but re-grow it gradually, the new limb becoming bigger every time their shed their skin. The tarantula skin is an exoskeleton, made of keratin (the same material human nails are made of). Despite the fear and horror they install in so many people (who've learnt most of what they know about tarantulas from the movies) tarantulas have venom which is unable to endanger human life. In fact, there is no record of anyone being killed by a tarantula bite. Some New World species have hairs on their abdomens which they can flick off with their back legs. These can cause an itching/burning sensation if they come into contact with human skin. But let's be honest, tarantulas are probably more afraid of us than we are of them, and they are a major controller of destructive pests like cockroaches and locusts. In fact tarantulas make excellent pets. They are more likely to run away rather than attack, unless they are cornered. Tarantulas are certainly not made of rubber, as some movies would have us believe. They are just as much flesh and blood as we are.
by StormSworder August 16, 2006
1: An island or other piece of land which is undiscovered.
2: A person or animal who has never had sex. This could be for a variety of reasons, but if there were more virgins there might be less STDs, less unwanted pregnancies and less babies who grow up being ignored by their uninterested parents, having no chance in life at all and ending up in the gutter or on drugs. The problem is that people are so often made to feel that admitting you're a virgin is akin to admitting you're a leper.
I'm sure most virgins have had sex on their own, if you get my drift. Despite us humans claiming we're superior to animals, primal instincts are still within us.
2: A person or animal who has never had sex. This could be for a variety of reasons, but if there were more virgins there might be less STDs, less unwanted pregnancies and less babies who grow up being ignored by their uninterested parents, having no chance in life at all and ending up in the gutter or on drugs. The problem is that people are so often made to feel that admitting you're a virgin is akin to admitting you're a leper.
I'm sure most virgins have had sex on their own, if you get my drift. Despite us humans claiming we're superior to animals, primal instincts are still within us.
Schoolgirls:
Emma: So, Rachel. You had sex yet?
Rachel: No. I'm only thirteen. Anyway, I'm going to save myself for the right man.
Emma and her friends laugh and start chanting 'Rachel's a virgin'.
Emma: So, Rachel. You had sex yet?
Rachel: No. I'm only thirteen. Anyway, I'm going to save myself for the right man.
Emma and her friends laugh and start chanting 'Rachel's a virgin'.
by StormSworder August 12, 2006
Female genetalia. Has an opening in which the male penis can be inserted. Is also the opening through which the baby leaves the female body. When sexually aroused, the vagina becomes moist allowing easier penetration.
Biology teacher: "Can anyone tell me the function of the vagina?"
Schoolboy sniggering from all around.
Schoolboy sniggering from all around.
by StormSworder March 28, 2007
Dark-tinted glasses, worn for a variety of reasons.
1: If it's a bright day.
2: If you have been given a black eye and want to conceal it.
3: You are making a (not-very-good) attempt to conceal your identity.
4: You are a complete tit who thinks wearing sunglasses makes you look like a gangster or a pop star or something.
1: If it's a bright day.
2: If you have been given a black eye and want to conceal it.
3: You are making a (not-very-good) attempt to conceal your identity.
4: You are a complete tit who thinks wearing sunglasses makes you look like a gangster or a pop star or something.
"Why does Sunglasses Roy wear shades even when it's dark? Does he think it's cool?"
"Er, no. He's actually an alien with red eyes and doesn't want anyone to see them".
"Er, no. He's actually an alien with red eyes and doesn't want anyone to see them".
by StormSworder April 2, 2007