Hedin

Sven Anders Hedin (1865-1952) was one of the great Swedish explorers. He was not the greatest, but was certainly one of them. Hedin was born in Stockholm and educated in both Sweden and Germany. Before he was 21 he started on his first exploration, of his back garden. He then travelled through Mesopotamia, part of which is now known as Iraq. Fascinating. In 1893 he began a 4 year journey across central Asia, looking for the lesser spotted Asian Zebra a friend had told him about. After four years his friend admitted he had lied. During a journey across the Pamir-La-Anderson Mountains his party found several ancient cities, called 'New York', 'Boston' and 'Disneyworld'. From 1927-35 he was in charge of the joint Chinese-Swedish expedition. They found China, but lost Sweden in the act. Which was a shame. I like Sweden. They invented Abba.

Person 1: 'Oh look! I found Jehol: City of Emperors by Sven Anders Hedin!'
Person 2: 'Well, he's an okay Swedish bloke, but I prefer Gustaf Dalen, who revolutionised lighthouse equipment and invented the Aga cooker.'

by Stephen W. Thomas November 07, 2004

Brightonshire

The collective counties of West and East Sussex.

"I went down to Brightonshire the other day. Twas sunny like the windfart.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 09, 2005

bjeebers

Bjeebers - sometimes followed by a (!), this indicates that the speaker is expressing fear or surprise. Not to be mistaken for bejeebers. They're completely different. Honest.

'Bjeebers! That pigeon almost ripped my head into two pieces!

by Stephen W. Thomas November 10, 2004

terribibble

A word, meaning terrible, but helpful to cheer up the situation.

'Your mother's death was terribibble!'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 14, 2005

Foire Engin

A common term used to describe fire engines, when using a Cornish accent. I love the Cornish. Anyhoo, this is also a way to taste the drunkness of a friend, by seeing how many 'gin' sounds are added on the end.

Stan: Are you drunk, Jimmy?
Jimmy: I don't know.
Stan: Say 'foire engin'.
Jimmy: Foire engin-gin-gin-gin-gin-gin-gin.
Stan: Drunk fool.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 06, 2005

vacuum-packed cows

A vacuum-packed cow can be found in most fields in Britain throughout autumn and winter. Many believe that the large cylinder black bags are full of hay, but that is an urban legend. Inside these mysterious bags are on average three vacuum-packed cows. These cows have been dehydrated and vacuum packed in order to keep them safe until spring. If you had ever wondered why there were a lot less cows in the fields in winter, you now know. Obviously not all cows are vacuum-packed, as it is still a new technology, and can be dangerous to cows, or require them to have months of therapy afterwards.

Farmer Brown started vacuum-packing his cows around October, so they could get used to their vacuumed environment.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 09, 2005

turd monkey

1) A phrase which is used to express disgust towards a person. Not to be mistaken with monkey turd. A turd monkey is generally someone who annoys or disgusts you, but can be used on anyone who generally pisses you off.
2) A statue of a monkey made out of a turd.

1) "You complete and utter turd monkey."
2) "That's a good turd monkey there, Stan."

by Stephen W. Thomas October 12, 2004