SpecklemyFreckle's definitions

Goozle

A country colloquium that refers to the little punchin bag thingie that hangs in the back of a persons’s throat. People use this term because they do not actually know it is called a uvula.

*Judy is eating and suddenly starts coughing and partially choking.*
Sue Bob: Judy, honey, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?

Judy: Yes, DAMN! That shit got stuck in my goozle!

by SpecklemyFreckle April 3, 2020

High Velocity Shit Spatter

Whenever you are about to shit on yourself and you finally sit on the toilet, the feces then explodes from your asshole. The speed and force from which the shit is ejected causes it to splatter all over the toilet. The thousands of little poop spots that look like freckles on the underneath of the toilet seat are known as shit spatter. It is caused by shit flying out of your butt at such a high speed.

*Husband lifts toilet lid to take a piss..*
Husband: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN HERE?!?!
Wife: Whatever do you mean sweetheart?
Husband: There is fucking HIGH VELOCITY SHIT SPATTER EVERYWHERE!!
Wife: Omg. I am so sorry. I had a belly ache.
Husband: Hell yeah you did, you nasty bitch!
*Husband and wife both laugh out loud.”

by SpecklemyFreckle April 3, 2020

Gnat Bread

Gnat bread is the matter that forms in the corner of your eyes, especially during sleep. If you go outside with said matter still in your eye and there are gnats around, they will swarm to your eyes and feast on the matter. AKA: Gnat Bread

First thing in the morning....
Child: Whats for breakfast?
Dad: Your mama is making grits and eggs.
Child: I want cheese in my grits.
Dad: Okay. You got some gnat bread in your eye.
Child rubs eyes and removes all traces of gnat bread.

by SpecklemyFreckle April 3, 2020

BOFAH

A setup for a “Deez Nuts” joke.

Jaime: Hey, I was wondering...Do you ever miss Bofah?
Kayla: Bofah?
Jaime: Yeah, Bofah deez nuts in yo mouth!

by SpecklemyFreckle April 3, 2020

Spank Bank

Images, clips, people, memories, ect..stored in your brain that you pull up into your minds eye when you masturbate..

I have Captain Jack Sparrow and King Leonidas in my Spank Bank.

by SpecklemyFreckle December 26, 2016

I Don't Give a Fuck

Whenever you say that you don't give a fuck..you must not give a fuck FULLY. You dont give half a fuck, a quarter fuck..You don't give a mother or a brother fuck..YOU DO NOT GIVE ANY AMOUNT OF FUCK. You have to be stingy with your fucks..protect them..Like drops of water in a drought, such are your fucks..and you do not give them..EVER

Person: Help! I am dangling off a cliff..I am about to fall to my death! I need a fuck to save me!!
Me: Sorry..I don't give a fuck..
Person: But I will die! I just need ONE LITTLE FUCK!!
Me: Hold on let me just looook....Nope sorry..I have no fucks to give..

by SpecklemyFreckle January 2, 2017

COVIDIOTS

Covidiots are those people who refuse to take the novel coronavirus, COVID19, seriously. They do not practice social distancing. They do not stay at home. They do not cancel parties.

Amy: Why are all of those people still going to the beach for Spring Break in the middle of a global pandemic?
Toby: Because they are Covidiots.

by SpecklemyFreckle April 3, 2020