Sawn asunder

Sawed in half by 2 guys, usually hanging with the head down and feet up.

Leroy thought the guy might want to have him sawn asunder, but the guy really just wanted to jigsaw Leroy's head a little bit.

by Solid Mantis August 14, 2019

Uptight

Walking around like you got a stick up your ass, and your shit don't stink, kind of like I do all the time.

I was born an uptight stiff, so why should I change now. I think I'm cool, but somebody is going to come along and own me one day, then I will see.

by Solid Mantis April 21, 2021

Raw sewage

People have swam in raw sewage before, and turned out okay. Still, the news tells people in South Florida do not walk around in the shit filled floodwaters from Tropical Storm Eta, it's dangerous. Just what people need, to be fed something else to get paranoid about, since the coronavirus didn't seem to get enough people paranoid.

South Florida resident on news- Ewwww, raw sewage mixed in with the floodwater, that's other people's shit, it smells horrible, that's how I knew there was sewage in the water. I'm not going in that. They need to start pumping all the water out immediately, it's not getting done fast enough!

by Solid Mantis November 12, 2020

Football game

A motive for homicide.

Homicide detective- Why did you do it?
Suspect- Did you watch the football game? These fans from the other team were talking shit and...
Homicide detective- I would have done the same thing. You're all right with me man, you can go home now.

by Solid Mantis November 29, 2020

Band poser

A guy posing as a piano player, guitarist,drummer, or another instrument.

The guy wished he had been naturally gifted music maker, but knew it wasn't his particular skill set. He would still claim it in public, even if it wasn't his instrument, since he was a band poser.

by Solid Mantis January 02, 2020

Shit interception

When someone has intercepted an enemy's shit.

The sneaky girl ended up getting back the shit she had been trying to give someone else after the shit interception.

by Solid Mantis November 17, 2020

Enemies

Knowing who common enemies are can be more helpful than looking for common ground with other people.

There is no common ground between you and your enemies, and they don't want you to wake up and fight, they want you to wake up and compromise/follow orders (which isn't waking up).

by Solid Mantis November 17, 2020