Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions
or 'bling waddler' are words only applying to fat men between 35 and 45 who wear shorts, sandals and puffa jackets. The commonly tend to drive 'Ive-Got-An-Under-Sized-Penis' cars,Four by fours or minivans. They also are overly hairy, facially smug and wear Bluetooth's ear pods proudly as though they are rich Godlike men walking the streets. In actuality they are fat, waddling,hairy twats who'll end up with brain problems,drink problems and wives who only do it with them for the cash. Also they are probably closet homosexuals who film their neighbours kids through the cracks in the garden fence.
CHILD: Mummy, mummy why is that fat man walking like he needs a poo and what is that stupid f-ing thing in his ear.
MOTHER: Well son, that's what we call 'Bling Waddlers' or 'Bling Waddler'. I want you to stay away from people like that. I'm not prejudice but they are the work of Satan and you'll burn in the fires Hell if you ever become one of those. And that thing in his ear is something that lets the police know where the bastard is.
CHILD: (Scare witless) Okay Mummy, take your pills...
MOTHER: Well son, that's what we call 'Bling Waddlers' or 'Bling Waddler'. I want you to stay away from people like that. I'm not prejudice but they are the work of Satan and you'll burn in the fires Hell if you ever become one of those. And that thing in his ear is something that lets the police know where the bastard is.
CHILD: (Scare witless) Okay Mummy, take your pills...
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 5, 2007
Get the bling waddlersmug. Is a word that refers to the practise of one person, usually a male, playing with his banjo. In essence to twang his banjo. And if some ladies have banjos, then they can twang them whilst they're on live at the circus. BUt usually the banjo would refer to the knob.
Edmund: Hilary, where is our firstborn Rutland Percival Smythe-Brigstock Jones XIV?
Hilary: Upstairs, playing with one of those god-awful new contraptions from the Americas. A najbo I think it's called. Why do you ask Mr. Smythe-Brigstock, also known as my husband?
Edmund:Is that what that racket is? He'll go blind doing a twanjo on his banjo like Daddy did. That's why I wish to know Mrs.Smythe-Brigstock, also known locally as my wife...and village bicycle.
Hilary: Upstairs, playing with one of those god-awful new contraptions from the Americas. A najbo I think it's called. Why do you ask Mr. Smythe-Brigstock, also known as my husband?
Edmund:Is that what that racket is? He'll go blind doing a twanjo on his banjo like Daddy did. That's why I wish to know Mrs.Smythe-Brigstock, also known locally as my wife...and village bicycle.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 4, 2007
Get the twanjomug. The real name of a Sex Vampire who bummed a load of Carpathians in Moldavia around the 1st century before Winona Ryder chucks herself in the river for being a klepto. Used to impale people on his four foot dick which he also fought with.
Nad the Impale-Her pornstar name in spoof movie of 'Barb's Stoked U Know's Spankula' from 1993, pisstake of cool Keanu flick.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 11, 2008
Get the nad the impale-hermug. Bond of the 21st century, according to a completely non-gay Daniel Craig loves willy. No longer is it safe to watch TV without a cast of bum diggers suddenly becoming the centre of attention. Doctor Who has become Doctor 'Up the Poo'. Torchwood is 'were there any straight people in this week?'
Well Double 0 Gay is now suffering. Gaymes Bond or James Bummed is the spy hero of the new century.
Well Double 0 Gay is now suffering. Gaymes Bond or James Bummed is the spy hero of the new century.
00Gay's films may include...
Man With the Golden Knob
The Living Gaylights
Gold Wanger
Dr No(b)
Homos Are Forever
The Cock Is Not Enough
Never Say Gay
Moonie Raper
For Your Balls Only
Liscence to Bum
You Only Fuck Men Twice
'Q' would supply weapon-like dildos and his name would actually be short for 'Queer'. 'M' would still be Judy Dench but 'M' would stand for she was a 'Man'
Man With the Golden Knob
The Living Gaylights
Gold Wanger
Dr No(b)
Homos Are Forever
The Cock Is Not Enough
Never Say Gay
Moonie Raper
For Your Balls Only
Liscence to Bum
You Only Fuck Men Twice
'Q' would supply weapon-like dildos and his name would actually be short for 'Queer'. 'M' would still be Judy Dench but 'M' would stand for she was a 'Man'
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 3, 2008
Get the 00Gaymug. A Couple on a plane, the man has the window seat.
Kanye: Hey, Estelle, I'm feeling bonkers. Do you got a spoon, fork or a knife? I think it's called a spoforife.
Estelle: Can you be quiet for just one shitting minute?
Kanye: Hey we just touched down in London town.
Estelle: For Christ's sake, quit it with the fucking song or I'll kick you in the fucking balls again you ass hole.
Kayne: Hey look, it's the press. They don't fuck wit me.
Estelle: (Sighs.)
Kanye: Hey, Estelle, I'm feeling bonkers. Do you got a spoon, fork or a knife? I think it's called a spoforife.
Estelle: Can you be quiet for just one shitting minute?
Kanye: Hey we just touched down in London town.
Estelle: For Christ's sake, quit it with the fucking song or I'll kick you in the fucking balls again you ass hole.
Kayne: Hey look, it's the press. They don't fuck wit me.
Estelle: (Sighs.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 21, 2008
Get the spoforifemug. 1:) cuntanet: The online interwebbing tool invented a thousand years ago by people who obviously want other people to be able to get in touch with them because the telephone and the front door weren't inconvienient enough.
2:)A place to which all 10% of non porn is given over to people who have no lives. EG: gamers, moaners, whiners, diners, bankers, wankers, politicians, newsreaders, newslisteners, mothers who try to ban kids books when they should be being mothers. Essentially anyone not doing, watching or making porn use the cuntanet.
2:)A place to which all 10% of non porn is given over to people who have no lives. EG: gamers, moaners, whiners, diners, bankers, wankers, politicians, newsreaders, newslisteners, mothers who try to ban kids books when they should be being mothers. Essentially anyone not doing, watching or making porn use the cuntanet.
STEVE: Yo, Dude where the hell are you?
DAVE: I'm on the cuntanet.
STEVE: The what?
DAVE: The cuntanet.
STEVE: Yeah, I heard, I'm not deaf. What the fuck is the cuntanet?
DAVE: It's where us bloggers, gamers, whiners, diners, bankers, wankers, politicians, newsreader, newlisteners, mothers, facebookers,bebo-ers and myspacers waste our time, lives, potential-full futures because the world and human society has become a vapid tract of poo, where all need of entelechy has dissipated from our causal descent of beginning and end.
STEVE: So, it's your stupid name for the internet.
DAVE: Why don't you go practise your grapholagnia?
STEVE:Because you're too busy in the bathroom practising your emunctionon your anus.
DAVE: I'm on the cuntanet.
STEVE: The what?
DAVE: The cuntanet.
STEVE: Yeah, I heard, I'm not deaf. What the fuck is the cuntanet?
DAVE: It's where us bloggers, gamers, whiners, diners, bankers, wankers, politicians, newsreader, newlisteners, mothers, facebookers,bebo-ers and myspacers waste our time, lives, potential-full futures because the world and human society has become a vapid tract of poo, where all need of entelechy has dissipated from our causal descent of beginning and end.
STEVE: So, it's your stupid name for the internet.
DAVE: Why don't you go practise your grapholagnia?
STEVE:Because you're too busy in the bathroom practising your emunctionon your anus.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 22, 2009
Get the cuntanetmug. A man, at home, alone, watching 'Count Spunkula Lives!' with his bored housewife. The TV woman get a hugely impossible facial. The man looks longingly at his wife and she shoves a pencil down his dick. How's that?
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 10, 2008
Get the count spunkulamug.