bapjizm

The act of baptising a girlfriend, wife, fuck buddy (daughter's?) breast or "baps" region with god's sticky nectar.
PATRICK:I say, did you hear that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were married in the early 1980s?

SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.

PATRICK: Sphincter.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 25, 2009
Get the bapjizm mug.

trouser cake

A well baked collection of turds which emantes from the anus between six and twelve hours after comestible consumption.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
1:) He saw Shannon Matthews Mum and made trouser cake.
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 16, 2008
Get the trouser cake mug.

dreast

A breast that's dressed.

ie: A boob still in its Bouncy Rigid Alembic (B.R.A.)
A 'dreast' can be spotted in the first thirty seconds of any adult man-milk producing video production.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 19, 2009
Get the dreast mug.

shit22

A 'shit22' is similar to a catch22 situation but in which things are far far worse than anyone could imagine.
In essence, a predicament that you would never, ever wish to find yourself in but people like Paul McCartney, John Leslie, Angus Deaton, Gordon Ramsey and Prince Harry keep finding themselves in.
When your wife says she's leaving you halfway through giving her a damn good seeing to and actually thinking of her.
An 'Oh my shitting christ!' moment.
1:) The feeling the dinosaurs had when they saw their friends being vaporised by a shock wave.
2:) When Ginny tells Harry Potter that she's up the duff
3:) Mallory & Irvine's joint feeling at having realised they had forgotten to climb back down.
4:) When Britney realises she's running after K-Fed's car in the nude with half an ounce of coke on her face...a 'shit22'
5:) When Kerry Katona was shown a tape of herself giving herself a Gynaecological examination after coming out of the bath.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 04, 2007
Get the shit22 mug.

00Gay

Bond of the 21st century, according to a completely non-gay Daniel Craig loves willy. No longer is it safe to watch TV without a cast of bum diggers suddenly becoming the centre of attention. Doctor Who has become Doctor 'Up the Poo'. Torchwood is 'were there any straight people in this week?'
Well Double 0 Gay is now suffering. Gaymes Bond or James Bummed is the spy hero of the new century.
00Gay's films may include...

Man With the Golden Knob
The Living Gaylights
Gold Wanger
Dr No(b)
Homos Are Forever
The Cock Is Not Enough
Never Say Gay
Moonie Raper
For Your Balls Only
Liscence to Bum
You Only Fuck Men Twice

'Q' would supply weapon-like dildos and his name would actually be short for 'Queer'. 'M' would still be Judy Dench but 'M' would stand for she was a 'Man'
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 02, 2008
Get the 00Gay mug.

nad the impale-her

The real name of a Sex Vampire who bummed a load of Carpathians in Moldavia around the 1st century before Winona Ryder chucks herself in the river for being a klepto. Used to impale people on his four foot dick which he also fought with.
Nad the Impale-Her pornstar name in spoof movie of 'Barb's Stoked U Know's Spankula' from 1993, pisstake of cool Keanu flick.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 15, 2008
Get the nad the impale-her mug.

spoforife

Spoforife. Spoon. Fork. Knife. 'nuff said.
A Couple on a plane, the man has the window seat.
Kanye: Hey, Estelle, I'm feeling bonkers. Do you got a spoon, fork or a knife? I think it's called a spoforife.
Estelle: Can you be quiet for just one shitting minute?
Kanye: Hey we just touched down in London town.
Estelle: For Christ's sake, quit it with the fucking song or I'll kick you in the fucking balls again you ass hole.
Kayne: Hey look, it's the press. They don't fuck wit me.
Estelle: (Sighs.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 04, 2008
Get the spoforife mug.