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Shepherd Guy's definitions

Onigiri Parents

Parents who are white on the outside, but Asian all the way through. Named after a type of rice cake from Japan that uses white rice.

Same unbalanced focus on grades/academics at expense of all else, same overbearing and overprotective nature, same perfectionist kids who burn out from anxiety.
Scott: Fuuuuuck, my parents yelled at me all night for getting an 89 on the last exam. I still have a 4.1 GPA, so I don’t see what the problem is. I can’t handle my parents anymore.

Richard: Sounds like a classic case of onigiri parents.
by Shepherd Guy April 18, 2022
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Microsoft Product

Any product that is poorly designed, easy to hack, bloated, annoying to use, laggy, full of unwanted features, or prone to frequent malfunction.

Not always necessarily a Microsoft product or even any kind of software.
“Sorry I’ll be a little late to the meeting, Teams is being a Microsoft product again.”

“That new game I got off Steam last month crashed five times while I was trying to play it. What a Microsoft product.”

“My new bike’s frame has already started to bend and break like the Microsoft product it is.”
by Shepherd Guy March 14, 2025
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Space Racism

Space Racist: ZOMG YOU'RE A SAGITTARIUS; I CAN'T TALK TO YOU ANYMORE!

Me: Really? Space Racism?
by Shepherd Guy April 23, 2023
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Spendzone

A level of Dating Hell deeper than the Friendzone. In the Spendzone, a girl will pretend to be into you so she can convince you to buy her expensive gifts, only to dump you for a richer guy. Then lather, rinse, and repeat.
I spent $3500 on a Gucci purse for my girlfriend, only for her to Spendzone me and run off with some real estate developer in West Austin.
by Shepherd Guy July 11, 2025
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Aerith-Hinawa Principle

The Aerith-Hinawa Principle states that in a video game where you’re allowed to pick names for your characters, you should never name them after your loved ones. Named after two of the most traumatizing character deaths in video game history: Aerith from Final Fantasy VII, and Hinawa from Mother 3. A lot of people named these two after people they loved, and it only made their deaths that much worse.
Lucas: For my first Nuzlocke run, I’m naming all of my Pokémon after my closest friends!

Cloud: Please reconsider. I take it you’re unfamiliar with the Aerith-Hinawa Principle?
by Shepherd Guy December 6, 2024
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BOATS

Apollo 13 is my favorite BOATS film.
by Shepherd Guy September 6, 2025
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Dyer’s Rule of Nutrition

Jay Dyer’s Rule of Nutrition states that you should never eat anything that has cartoon characters on its package. Basically, processed junk food.
Dyer’s Rule of Nutrition would rule out:
>Cocoa Pebbles
>M&Ms
>Cheetos
>Flintstones Gummies
>Count Chocula
>Lunchly
by Shepherd Guy June 27, 2025
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