Secret Agent Man's definitions

bitchnet

Hypothetical network all cruel, aggressive women are tapped into.

My boss was a pain in the ass, and then, she must have used bitchnet to tell my wife to give me hell also.

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003

gong show

Based on the 70's amateur 'talent' show, the Gong Show. Applied to entertainment, it means cheesy and out of control, OR completely ruined through the good intentions of amateurs.

They had three bands scheduled, but the first one was the total gong show, so almost everyone left.

What the--? I thought this was supposed to be a presidential address, and I get the gong show?

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003

unstable molecules

The magic material Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four invented so that superheroes wouldn't shred / burn / rip up their clothing when they used their superpowers. Now used figuratively to mean some material that you just can't get rid of or rip up.

The shrink wrap on this CD must be made out of unstable molecules.

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

cruncher

Hypothetical device they have at the post office to mangle your mail with.

Man! They must have sent this through the cruncher like twice!

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

self-shaft

In college, a difficult professor might shaft the class. By extension, 'self-shaft' means taking the same class independent study.

Calc 3? I'm taking that self-shaft next semester.

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

potzrebie

Mad magazine equivalent of the computer programmer's foo, that is, a word which can be used to stand in for any other (as in, for example, fictitious brand names, etc.)

The label said to induce vomiting, so I applied the Potzrebie maneuver.

I'm sorry, Ms. Jones, we're going to have to charge you $500 dollars for this repair... your, uh, Potzrebie device was broken. Yeah.

by Secret Agent Man September 21, 2003

stoner

A consummate professional at the art of getting stoned. Generally still works a kiddie job like pizza delivery; may or may not still live with parents.

I saw this line of stoners outside the ticket office, and I was like, what?! Then I realized they were selling Phish tickets.

by Secret Agent Man September 19, 2003