"bro, they were really gumping it last night, you could hear it from the other side of the building!"
"Honey" *tears up "I was scissor gumped last night in the women's restroom. She got up on the stall behind me when I wasn't looking and then when I turned around she had her legs above her head and was pussy bashing me against the wall" *balling her eyes out
"Honey" *tears up "I was scissor gumped last night in the women's restroom. She got up on the stall behind me when I wasn't looking and then when I turned around she had her legs above her head and was pussy bashing me against the wall" *balling her eyes out
by Schrodinger's cock pasta February 27, 2025
when your john pappy slips you a sticky paper with dirt and you smoke it on labor day and walk around dressed as a break dancing naked pigeon while also being very suspicious of the line of brown midgets following you that you have no idea where they came from even though really you have just been shitting a dotted line on the ground as you walked around because the evaporated tree baby was almost definitely laced with laxatives.
Sum guy: "Liggin cats, I mean what the fuck are you doing break dancing and shitting at the same time dude? I didn't even know that was possible"
the person in question: "AUUUUGHGGHHH DUUUDEE I HAD PAPER AND I THINK ITS LABOR DAUGH AND I DONT LIKE NIGGERS!"
the person in question: "AUUUUGHGGHHH DUUUDEE I HAD PAPER AND I THINK ITS LABOR DAUGH AND I DONT LIKE NIGGERS!"
by Schrodinger's cock pasta February 26, 2025
When you don't have the meat sauce and you don't have the meat balls, but you do have the pasta, so you cum on the noodles and slap your dick and balls on top and call it a day.
"hey girl I know I ain't know cook, and I'm all outa foods but I can give you deese nodles, my meat and balls if you hungry u heard"
"bitch I don't want no cock pasta nigga"
"bitch I don't want no cock pasta nigga"
by Schrodinger's cock pasta February 26, 2025
The feeling when you coincidentally notice some human semen resting on a surface and you feel a sense of familiarity, like you have seen this before, like it is somehow familiar; a long lost brother maybe, the remnants of a past jorking.
"I was walking to work today and I was waiting to cross the street when I looked down and saw some fum on the cross button. I couldn't tell why I felt like it was fum, but I knew in that moment that we were somehow connected"
by Schrodinger's cock pasta February 26, 2025
When one ejaculates with such intensity that it knocks them out leaving them covered in cum, and when awake they find themselves in a sticky, hairy situation, and glued by their pubes to the bed sheets. More common in the UK where they still are achieving new records for country with most pubes collectively in the world.
"oy mate! I thank it was aroond last neght that I was getting off ta yong betty, and I jizzed meself ta sleep ya, but when Ih woke up ya see, moy sticky had glued me to my sheets yeah it done it! I had meself a sticky hairy one I did"
by Schrodinger's cock pasta February 27, 2025
When you wake up in the middle of the night to a bright light lowering on top of you, but you just realize it's the gf trying to find your micro nanometer cock with her phone flashlight out.
"AAAHHH AHHH, I'm okay with the probe thing btw just don't fuck my parrot!"
"it's just me you fucking retard, now help me find this meat, It's worse than that time I lost my butt plug in Mahmood's afro"
"oh shit I thought I was having an abduction experience, so no probe then huh?"
"it's just me you fucking retard, now help me find this meat, It's worse than that time I lost my butt plug in Mahmood's afro"
"oh shit I thought I was having an abduction experience, so no probe then huh?"
by Schrodinger's cock pasta February 26, 2025
When she decides to violently rotate on it 360 degrees causing it to twist off and explode from heat friction.
doctor: "so how'd you end up here?"
the victim: "she was like 'oh I have an idea'"
doctor: "oh, don't tell me, spinning death?"
the victim: "oh has it happened to you too?"
doctor pulls down his pants to reveal a cindering hole of where once laid rest a majestic cock that had falling in battle, to a spinning death attack. Donate today for spinning death victims.
the victim: "she was like 'oh I have an idea'"
doctor: "oh, don't tell me, spinning death?"
the victim: "oh has it happened to you too?"
doctor pulls down his pants to reveal a cindering hole of where once laid rest a majestic cock that had falling in battle, to a spinning death attack. Donate today for spinning death victims.
by Schrodinger's cock pasta February 26, 2025