Rob Porter's definitions

chat sex

(n.) Same as phone sex, except that one must keep both hands on the keyboard. This indicates that one must use one's feet to masturbate, or learn to type with their toes. This leaves both hands free to grope yourself and someone else simultaneously. If fortune prevails, you could use the other hand to perform a rusty trombone or rusty trumpet on your favorite live sex partner while having chat sex with a third party.

STEVE42: Are you there, Bruce?
BRUCE69: Yes.
STEVE42: Let's have chat sex, OK?
BRUCE69: All right, man!
STEVE42: Let me find my big giant dildo, OK?
BRUCE69: OK. I'll just give your grandmother a rusty trumpet to pass the time, OK?
STEVE42: Sounds good.
BRUCE69: All right, my man! We're gonna get naked and nasty tonight!

by Rob Porter January 5, 2009

clitoromaniac

(n.) One who is obsessed or particularly infatuated with clitori of all varieties.

Suzie loves to lick clits 24/7. Man, she's a fucking clitoromaniac!

by Rob Porter December 27, 2007

dumphole

(n.) The anus and rectum of any primate, including homo sapiens.

Say, doctor, do you have any medicine for hemorroids? There's a Turkish freighter about to dock and my dumphole is itching like hell!

by Rob Porter May 15, 2008

snot grabber

(n.) A nasty euphemism for a handkerchief or a tissue.

Jim: Hey, Jeff, hand me another tissue, please.

Jeff: I just gave you 3 Kleenex... how many snot grabbers do you plan to use, asshole?

by Rob Porter January 4, 2009

cunt finder

1. (n.) A lothario; a man who sexually exploits women;

2. (n.) A pimp;

3. (n.) One who happens upon a woman who turns out to be a total bitch.

1. Benjamin is a habitual cunt finder.

2. If you don't mind paying to get laid, you need to consult a cunt finder.

3. After a few minutes with that slut, he realized that he was about to become a cunt finder.

by Rob Porter November 26, 2007

gleet

(n.) the whitish discharge that oozes from the urethra when one has gonorrhea. This is seen in both males and females (most other definitions of gleet referring to saliva and spitting are false. Gleet has nothing to do with saliva, unless you suck off or eat out a person with gonorrhea).

Is that gleet on your pants or are you just glad to see me?

by Rob Porter October 2, 2007

Barbara's Bush

(n.) The true origin of president George Walker Bush.

Nobody knew that Barbara's Bush would one day bear forth a fruit with the mentality of a vegetable.

by Rob Porter January 3, 2009