21 definitions by Rob Porter

(n.) A mass of mucous and saliva that is forcefully ejected from the mouth onto a person or object.

The noun loogie is commonly used in conjunction with the verb 'hock.' See example below:
Lucy: "Ethel! Did you just hock a loogie in my coffee?"

Ethel: "Why, yes, Lucy, don't I always?"

Lucy: "Oh yeah I forgot! My FAVORITE!"

Ethel: "You empty the pot and I'll give you some snot, deal??"

Lucy: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!!! Thanks, Ethel! Jeepers you're the greatest! Gosh I've been hocking loogies in Ricky's coffee for eleven years (sigh). You know how those Cubans are about their boogers..."

"Yes... that fat fucker Fred is the same way. Hmph... MEN!!!

by Rob Porter February 23, 2009
Get the loogie mug.
(n.) Slang term used by children, parents and pediatricians, that refers to the urethra of the male penis or the female vagina.

The term 'lemonade launcher' is a preferred euphemism to use when conversing with children about personal hygiene, unlike other nouns considered to be vulgar, like pisshole, pussy juice, dick, cock, cunt, twat, etc. Most parents would prefer that their children not use such 'nasty nouns.'
Natalie, you must remember to wash and clean your lemonade launcher before you get out of the bathtub.
by Rob Porter March 12, 2009
Get the lemonade launcher mug.
Belinda and Stephanie got together for a 69 and ended up munching monkey all night long.

by Rob Porter November 22, 2007
Get the munching monkey mug.
The pubic hair of an elderly ho, which is often moldy, greenish in color, and infested with crabs, lice, brown recluse spiders, beetle larvae, maggots and other living and dead organisms. The aroma given off from Spanish moss is overwhelming and can sometimes be fatal.
Doctor: Nurse, come in here please! I can't place a catheter in this patient!

Nurse: Why not, Doctor? Is there too much Spanish moss around her twat or something?

Doctor: Maybe so. Would you give me a hand on this one??

Nurse: Sure, doctor. Let me put on some gloves and I'll see if I can make my way through that Spanish moss. Pee-ooo!


*** RELATED LIMERICK ***

There was an old whore from the Azores,
Whose cunt was so covered with sores;
That the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat,
That hung from festoons on her drawers.
by Rob Porter January 15, 2009
Get the Spanish moss mug.
(n.) One that indulges in felching used condoms (scumbags), regardless of what orifice it was used to penetrate. The afflicted individual then consumes the condom to top off the delicious snack.
As she strutted down the sidewalk in her slutty attire, she thought of how great it felt to be the most popular scumbag slut in the red light district of town.

"Say, Doc, there's three rubbers in the vomit of that guy in ER room 5. This patient is a scumbag slut if I ever saw one."
by Rob Porter March 2, 2009
Get the scumbag slut mug.
(n.) A nasty euphemism for a handkerchief or a tissue.
Jim: Hey, Jeff, hand me another tissue, please.

Jeff: I just gave you 3 Kleenex... how many snot grabbers do you plan to use, asshole?
by Rob Porter January 4, 2009
Get the snot grabber mug.
1. (v.) To engage in sexual intercourse with a person or object.

2. (v.) To penetrate the deep orifices or cavities of a person or object with a dildo. It is more polite to use this term than the F-word in mixed company.

This must not be misconstrued or misspelled as the verb splotch.

Synonym: fuck
I love to schplotz myself with a broom handle.

John and Mary were arrested for schplotzing on their front lawn.

He schplotzed his inflatable doll all night long.
by Rob Porter March 12, 2009
Get the schplotz mug.