21 definitions by Rob Porter

The pubic hair of an elderly ho, which is often moldy, greenish in color, and infested with crabs, lice, brown recluse spiders, beetle larvae, maggots and other living and dead organisms. The aroma given off from Spanish moss is overwhelming and can sometimes be fatal.
Doctor: Nurse, come in here please! I can't place a catheter in this patient!

Nurse: Why not, Doctor? Is there too much Spanish moss around her twat or something?

Doctor: Maybe so. Would you give me a hand on this one??

Nurse: Sure, doctor. Let me put on some gloves and I'll see if I can make my way through that Spanish moss. Pee-ooo!


*** RELATED LIMERICK ***

There was an old whore from the Azores,
Whose cunt was so covered with sores;
That the dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat,
That hung from festoons on her drawers.
by Rob Porter January 15, 2009
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(n.) What a police officer says on his radio after encountering an injured or dead prostitute.
"Unit 3 - we have a hoedown! Clear?"
by Rob Porter October 1, 2007
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(n.) A nasty euphemism for a handkerchief or a tissue.
Jim: Hey, Jeff, hand me another tissue, please.

Jeff: I just gave you 3 Kleenex... how many snot grabbers do you plan to use, asshole?
by Rob Porter January 4, 2009
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Nobody knew that Barbara's Bush would one day bear forth a fruit with the mentality of a vegetable.
by Rob Porter September 24, 2007
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1. (v.) To engage in sexual intercourse with a person or object.

2. (v.) To penetrate the deep orifices or cavities of a person or object with a dildo. It is more polite to use this term than the F-word in mixed company.

This must not be misconstrued or misspelled as the verb splotch.

Synonym: fuck
I love to schplotz myself with a broom handle.

John and Mary were arrested for schplotzing on their front lawn.

He schplotzed his inflatable doll all night long.
by Rob Porter March 12, 2009
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(n.) A certain kind of addictive feature that occurs when a dinge queen goes into a manic state.
"Hey, what's up with Bubba? Did he go on another dinge binge or something?"

"Yes. He's in Harlem Heaven right now."
by Rob Porter September 17, 2007
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1. (n.) Synonymous with anus/asshole/ringpiece/balloon knot.

2. (v.) To buttfuck a person (see also cornhole and pound).
1. You have a rather nice looking bunghole. Mind if I insert my holepole into it for a bit?

2. G'day, mate... I got my rocks off last night by getting bungholed by three different sailors.
by Rob Porter September 15, 2007
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