Rev. Johnny Blumpkin's definitions

p'skeezle skazzel

A phrase invented by accident one day because my friends called me predictable, so I just uttered the first nonsense that came to mind. It is both a greeting, an expression of excitement and a phrase to shout in celebration.

(knock on door)

My friend "come in"
(door opens)
Me: p'skeezle skazzel
My friend: what?
Me: who's predictable now bitch?

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin May 5, 2018

Post-Coital Piss

That first piss you take after having sex, that feels extra good compared to a regular piss. As you're bladder empties the last bit of left over climax pleasure leaves your perineum aching with delight as the joy finished draining out of your dick. Also, abbreviated as P-CP

Guy 1: Hey, I heard you moaning in the bathroom when you went to take a piss, what's up with that?
Guy 2: Yeah I had just got done taking the wife to pound town before you got here and didn't take time to piss before the game started.
Guy 1: Um... Ok... So, why the moaning?
Guy 2: P-CP.
Guy 1: P-CP?
Guy 2: Post-Coital Piss, it felt incredible, even made my taint quiver.
Guy 1: Matthews just scored on a 1-timer
Guy 2: Go Leafs...

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin May 17, 2018

cocoa snake

Any turd that is at least 8 inches in length.

This morning I woke up and took a shit, dropped a massive cocoa snake in the bowl.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 31, 2018

wisconsin pretty

A term used to describe an American woman who in most other states would be considered unattractive, but is beautiful by the standards of men from Wisconsin.

Guy: "what do you think of that chick over there by the keg?"
Friend: "you mean the one with the gut and John Denver haircut?"
Guy: "yeah, that one."
Friend: "Well she looks like Rebel Wilson, so I guess she's Wisconsin Pretty."
Guy: "Go Packers..."

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 1, 2018

Strawberry Shortcake

The act of ejaculating inside a woman's vagina while she is menstruating, sucking out the mixture of semen and menses whilst eating her out, then finally, passing the concoction into her mouth during kissing. It is a three part process that involves period sex, felching and snow-balling.

This new girl I am dating is a total freak, she's on the rag and asked for a Strawberry Shortcake. So I busted a nut in her bloody pussy, slurped that shit out while munching her box then spit that shit in her mouth.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin September 27, 2023

bird box challenge

The act of imitating the movie Bird Box, and challenging yourself to complete an otherwise innocuous or petty task while blindfolded.

Guy 1: you wanna try the Bird Box Challenge?
Guy 2: Sure, what do I have to do?
Guy 1: Put on this blindfold and try to cross the street without looking.
Guy 2: Sounds kinda dangerous.
Guy 1: You never know when you'll need this skill man. Everyone's doing it!
Guy 2: Ok... **(puts on blindfold and starts walking across the street, then gets hit by a bus)**
Guy 1: Beautiful.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 2, 2019

GFYOF

An acronym for "Go Fuck Your Own Face".

My boss: You know you're 2 minutes late right?

Me: It's snowing and the roads were a mess
My Boss: I don't care that's not an excuse
Me: GFYOF

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin May 5, 2018