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RandyRhoads84's definitions

Glistening bead

When you've wanked so much that you are sore, with very little left in the tank, but decide to wank once more in order to break your all time 24 hour record. Upon ejaculation, all that is present is a glistening bead in your japs eye - since you have no energy to propel it any further.
Johnny: what did you get up to last night?
Lawrence: I had a wankathon and broke my all time one day wank record. The last time, there was just a glistening bead on my bell end.
by RandyRhoads84 August 10, 2020
mugGet the Glistening beadmug.

Jerking From Home

The art of telling your employer that you will be working from home, when your sole intention is to stream youporn all day.
Stace: Michael, when were you last in the office?
Michael: It's been months now, I've been (JFH) jerking from home

Stace: Okay, some were worried that you had a massive stroke or something

Michael: You're not too far off the mark...
by RandyRhoads84 June 17, 2020
mugGet the Jerking From Homemug.

Gashback

When you spend obscene money on dating, and are finally rewarded by securing some gash.
After dating 5 women, I finally got some sex. 20% gashback!
by RandyRhoads84 December 21, 2020
mugGet the Gashbackmug.

Hotel Rwanda

A 2004 film, also a sarcastic name for the refugee camp that some asylum seekers in the UK will be sent to in Rwanda.
Steve W: Where are Jitnesh and his family?
Michael C: They've been sent to Hotel Rwanda.
Steve W: About time! The Rwanda scheme had cost the taxpayer hundreds of millions, with no asylum seekers deported
Michael C: Yep. I hear that in the Hotel Rwanda, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
by RandyRhoads84 January 17, 2024
mugGet the Hotel Rwandamug.

Capitalist tennis

Where two tennis players start on an 'even footing', and the strongest player serves first. Each time the weakest player loses a game, they have to down a double gin & tonic, thus progressively getting weaker.
Maria and Michael played capitalist tennis yesterday, Maria ended up losing and was very drunk by the end!
by RandyRhoads84 June 4, 2024
mugGet the Capitalist tennismug.

Tea Tree Oiled

The art of waxing your shaft with tea tree oil, and strumming yourself to ecstasy before the burn sets in.
Michael: What did you do last night Steve, the usual pit noodle and wank 1-2?
Steve W: Actually I spiced things up and tea tree oiled my Johnson
by RandyRhoads84 May 29, 2020
mugGet the Tea Tree Oiledmug.

Ass. Consultant

Abbreviation for 'Associate Consultant', some bullshit job title to give younger employees a false sense of hope that their job means something. Commonly found in rural consultancies in St. Ives. Sometimes loaned out sexually to clients to secure deals.
Client: 'The proposal is pretty good, but the quote is too high'
Hobb Knob: 'Have one of my ass. consultants for the night, not the yank though, he's spoiled goods and has an arse like a grapefruit'
Client: 'Deal, we'll sign off in the morning'
by RandyRhoads84 December 25, 2016
mugGet the Ass. Consultantmug.

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