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QuacksO's definitions

selfish sympathy

Regretful soothing words dat you administer to someone else to supposedly make him feel better about a situation, but in reality you merely feel sorry for YOURSELF.
A classic "selfish sympathy" example, from an old "Peanuts" comic:

Schroeder, in exasperation at Lucy's pushy "over-attentiveness": Do you know what Beethoven never had?!
Lucy: What?
Schroeder, rantingly waving his arms above his head: Beethoven never had girls hanging on to his piano and bugging him about giving them presents!
Lucy, mildly shocked: He DIDN'T?! (pauses to ponder this fact) Poor Beethoven!
by QuacksO March 8, 2023
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equatoryal region

Da south-of-da-border area where da colonial loyalists emigrated to after their "viva King George" viewpoints because politically unpopular.
Advice for all of you non-Patriots considering a hasty retreat to da equatoryal regions: fleeing to said sweltering "middle ground" could indeed help you find neutrality as far as your beliefs regarding who should govern da New World, but you'll likely find yourself to again be in a whole lotta "hot water" --- literally --- if you try to bathe in any of da oceans or lakes in said super-toasty locale!
by QuacksO October 24, 2024
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pandemoanium

A noisy cacophony of vocalizations expressing either distress or ecstasy.
A group of horny studs will likely raise total pandemoanium if at least one curvaceous chick isn't present for them to slake their massive pliable-protoplasm cravings upon; if such a amply-endowed gal does subsequently show up, however, da dudes' assorted throat-produced sounds of discontent will quickly be replaced with gratified sighs and coos as they gleefully partake of da luscious warmth and softness dat said fleshy female has to offer.
by QuacksO January 18, 2023
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treevival gathering

An early-spring-or-fall wingding where folks plant evergreen-seedlings.
If befriending hippie-types is what floats yer boat, then attending a treevival gathering might be right up yer alley.
by QuacksO April 28, 2025
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"special letter" literature

cliterature: "Steamy" prose or poetry.
eliterature: Writings regarding the "upper crust" in society.
fliterature: Books and magazines about birds and other winged creatures.
glitterature: Printed-matter puffery that's merely "all for show".
sliterature: "How to" publications about careful cutting an incising.
I prefer just run-of-the-mill reading-material; no "special letter" literature for me, thank you very much!
by QuacksO October 4, 2020
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"before and after" photos

The total bu**s**t "comparison of status/condition" images that supposedly show how much someone/something has been improved by your advertised products/services/philosophies. Often the "after" photos will have been re-touched to make the "result" look far better than it actually was, or the two sets of photos have merely been "switched" --- i.e., the "before" photos are actually of the deplorable/decrepit way that the person/object **presently looks**, and the "after" photos show how the person/object looked BEFORE you started messing around with your precious quackola "treatments" or "improvements"... in other words, the situation is EVEN WORSE OFF NOW THAT YOU'VE PRACTICED YOUR ADVERTISED TREATMENT, NOT BETTER!!!
This advertisement's "before and after" photos of people who were supposedly helped immensely by this fad diet certainly do look impressive at first glance, but I can't help observing that many of the people look noticeably **older** in the "before" photos... interesting...
by QuacksO November 11, 2018
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Whizzard of Oz

Da Emerald-City-based medical-doctor genius whose primary prowess was helping all of da Gillikins, Munchkins, Winkies, and Quadlings with urinary issues. Dat's why da Wicked Witches of da East and West didn't like him, since his legitimate practice was cutting into their own quack-a-mamie business of selling magic spells and potions to supposedly cure illnesses.
Da Wonderful Whizzard of Oz
Retired from practice because
With modern medical science
To most of his clients
He wasn't da whiz dat he was.
by QuacksO January 1, 2020
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