QuacksO's definitions

job-skeels

The extremely-limited (and not very good at even those few sectors of knowledge, according to his former boss, Hassan --- "Achmed...! You have worked for us for T'REE YEAHS, and you STILL haven't keeled INFIDEL ONE!") number of "employment-marketable" experiences/capabilities that Achmed originally possessed before he met the Wilson family. After he became acquainted with them and their "totally-peaceable" lifestyle and beliefs, however, the now-cheerfully-toned-down Achmed began learning to "redirect" or "channel" his use-of-explosives expertise to create lovely stone statues that he could then sell to other folks.

I never know when Achmed is gonna decide to hot-headedly make use of his assorted "job-skeels", so I always meekly ask his permission before I say anything to him, so that hopefully he won't feel so much like offing me just because I spoke to him.

by QuacksO November 18, 2018

herdles

Can refer to one of two female-related issues:
(1) da women's-rights difficulties dat da likes of Susan B Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton helped overcome, or
(2) da difficulties dat a single dude has to overcome to land himself a bed-warmer.

Different gals have widely-varying types and levels of standards and expectations, and so a bachelor may face more or fewer herdles depending on which chick he's courting.

by QuacksO February 15, 2020

front-lawn storefront

A.k.a. "yard sale". Often you can get good bargains on good-quality household items there, but you hafta always watch out for damaged/defective/worn-out items and inflated prices.

Brick-and-mortar shops do indeed usually charge a lot more for stuff than a front-lawn storefront, but yard-sale items usually don't come with a warranty or money-back guarantee, so it's kind of a trade-off..

by QuacksO September 9, 2018

Gallop Poll

An equestrian-related public survey.

When Genuine Risk got bumped and otherwise illegally/unethically prevented from winning the Preakness and Belmont races, a Gallop Poll that was conducted afterwards showed strong support for the pretty little mare, and widespread outrage about the shameful ways she had been treated during those two races.

by QuacksO October 8, 2018

statutory abuse

Refers to the not-necessarily-full-blown-mistreatment-but-still-distressing act of treating someone like an inanimate life-sized carved likeness of a human being.

Tiffany is so kind and lovable to me overall that I don't really consider it statutory abuse when she rests her foot against me while adjusting her socks/pant-legs or drapes clothing and towels on me while she's straightening up her room or getting ready to head out --- I know she isn't intentionally trying to belittle me; she's merely using my hips/arms/shoulders/head as convenient spots to temporarily rest/stash stuff, plus of course I know better than to "bother the maid when she's cleaning".

by QuacksO August 12, 2018

follow the money

Refers to the shameless act of stealthily sneaking along some distance behind a returnables-gatherer who is practicing the toss-across collecting method, and surreptitiously retrieving the bottles and cans that the gatherer has stockpiled on the other side of the road, along with any additional empties that are already on that side. By carefully hanging back far enough behind the collector and therefore staying out of his sight, the opportunist will likely never be observed, and thus the collector will be greeted with just a "barren" roadside all the way when he turns around to start bagging up his laboriously-collected empties on his trek back home again.

I usually try to start out at first light to collect returnables, so that any lazy-a** local delinquents who would want to "follow the money" will not even be awake yet, and thus they will not observe me or know to try following me around town that day to pilfer all my hard work.

by QuacksO December 10, 2018

antarchist

Someone who incites civil rebellion due to its being super-cold and icy/snowy all da time.

If there are almost no inhabitants in "Anarchtica", who would even be around for an antarchist to rile up, anyway???

by QuacksO January 25, 2023