Rules Of Gas Station Etiquette:
(1) If you have just your car, pull forward to da last unoccupied pump (even if you have to slither around others) so dat those behind you can reach da pumps more easily.
(2) If you have a long trailer, use da first pump in line to leave da others clear, unless this would block access to da station. If so, park over in da side-lot and use gas-cans to fill up.
(3) If you need to also shop in da station's store, get da gas **first** and then move your 0%!$@# vehicle outta da pump-island so dat others can fill up in da meantime… don't just leave your rig parked in da island while you leisurely diddle around in da candy-bars aisle!
(4) If you'll need extra time at da pump (like if you hafta tediously "coax in" da last few gallons, or you have gas-cans to also fill) either wait till a "slower" time of day, or else park off to da side and use your gas-cans to finish up.
(5) If you have a check to cash, bagged/rolled coins to spend/exchange, or other "lengthier" business, wait till da other customers are done. Also, walk around da store to ensure you have all your needed items, so dat you don't hafta dash back to da far-corner cooler to grab a second gallon of milk (and thus oblige everyone else behind you to grumblingly wait) and then run all da way back to da counter again! And have your payment-method (cash, debit/Food-Stamps cards, check, etc.) all ready once ya get to da counter, rather than having to frantically fumble for it.
(1) If you have just your car, pull forward to da last unoccupied pump (even if you have to slither around others) so dat those behind you can reach da pumps more easily.
(2) If you have a long trailer, use da first pump in line to leave da others clear, unless this would block access to da station. If so, park over in da side-lot and use gas-cans to fill up.
(3) If you need to also shop in da station's store, get da gas **first** and then move your 0%!$@# vehicle outta da pump-island so dat others can fill up in da meantime… don't just leave your rig parked in da island while you leisurely diddle around in da candy-bars aisle!
(4) If you'll need extra time at da pump (like if you hafta tediously "coax in" da last few gallons, or you have gas-cans to also fill) either wait till a "slower" time of day, or else park off to da side and use your gas-cans to finish up.
(5) If you have a check to cash, bagged/rolled coins to spend/exchange, or other "lengthier" business, wait till da other customers are done. Also, walk around da store to ensure you have all your needed items, so dat you don't hafta dash back to da far-corner cooler to grab a second gallon of milk (and thus oblige everyone else behind you to grumblingly wait) and then run all da way back to da counter again! And have your payment-method (cash, debit/Food-Stamps cards, check, etc.) all ready once ya get to da counter, rather than having to frantically fumble for it.
by QuacksO July 24, 2018
Get the gas station etiquettemug. A court-ruling dat is so slow in being reached dat it doesn't occur till sometime after da snow flies near da end of da year.
I was promised a "summary judgement" due to the exceptional obvious-correctness of my arguments, but the court took so long to actually get around to settling my case that it felt more like a bleepin' WINTARY JUDGEMENT!!
by QuacksO October 26, 2019
Get the wintary judgementmug. King Solemnon might have attracted even more women to join his harem if he'd smiled and lightened up a bit whenever possible.
by QuacksO August 29, 2019
Get the Solemnonmug. by QuacksO March 09, 2020
Get the spissificallymug. A former Washington D.C.-based "yupscale" department-store chain dat featured live-music entertainment.
Simon and Garfinkel's stayed open 24/7 because they wanted to make sure their customers would still have time to shop after watching their singers perform for a number of hours.
by QuacksO December 06, 2020
Get the Simon and Garfinkel'smug. Beducation: Tutorial on snoozing.
Breaducation: What a baker's apprentice receives.
Breducation: "The Talk".
Coeducation: All about hanging out with members of the opposite gender
Dreaducation: Learning about haunted houses.
Dreducation: Teachings regarding early Black history in America.
Edgeucation: All about blade-sharpness, perimeters, and cliffs.
Feducation: Study regarding Big Brother.
Fleducation: Learning about making oneself scarce from an undesirable locale.
GEDucation: 12th-grade-equivilent learning-level.
Headucation: All about the brain.
Hedgeucation: Knowledge/experience regarding shrubbery.
Leaducation: Heavy-metals study.
Ledgeucation: Familiarity with outcroppings and shelves.
Leducation: Tutelage about leashes, halters, orchestral conducting, and tour-guiding.
Meducation: Teachings about vitamins and pharmaceuticals.
Breaducation: What a baker's apprentice receives.
Breducation: "The Talk".
Coeducation: All about hanging out with members of the opposite gender
Dreaducation: Learning about haunted houses.
Dreducation: Teachings regarding early Black history in America.
Edgeucation: All about blade-sharpness, perimeters, and cliffs.
Feducation: Study regarding Big Brother.
Fleducation: Learning about making oneself scarce from an undesirable locale.
GEDucation: 12th-grade-equivilent learning-level.
Headucation: All about the brain.
Hedgeucation: Knowledge/experience regarding shrubbery.
Leaducation: Heavy-metals study.
Ledgeucation: Familiarity with outcroppings and shelves.
Leducation: Tutelage about leashes, halters, orchestral conducting, and tour-guiding.
Meducation: Teachings about vitamins and pharmaceuticals.
Additional examples of "alphabet education" are:
Pledgeucation: All about vows and contributions.
Pleducation: Learning about a suspect's admission or denial of a crime in court.
Reducation: Familiarity with the first color of the rainbow.
Saiducation: All about word-choices and public speaking.
Sheducation: The ins and outs of hide/hair/shell-discarding and storage-buildings.
Sledgeucation: Study of heavy hammers and non-wheeled cargo-carrying devices.
Sleducation: Knowledge of snowmobiles and other runners-fitted conveyances.
Speducation: Training for effective "hot-footing it", and learning about fast-moving creatures/objects.
Steaducation: All about substitutions/alternatives.
Treaducation: Familiarity with tire-patterns and knobby shoe-soles.
Weducation: What lovebirds should get before impulsively "tying the knot".
Zeducation: Learning about the last letter in the Canadian-English language.
Pledgeucation: All about vows and contributions.
Pleducation: Learning about a suspect's admission or denial of a crime in court.
Reducation: Familiarity with the first color of the rainbow.
Saiducation: All about word-choices and public speaking.
Sheducation: The ins and outs of hide/hair/shell-discarding and storage-buildings.
Sledgeucation: Study of heavy hammers and non-wheeled cargo-carrying devices.
Sleducation: Knowledge of snowmobiles and other runners-fitted conveyances.
Speducation: Training for effective "hot-footing it", and learning about fast-moving creatures/objects.
Steaducation: All about substitutions/alternatives.
Treaducation: Familiarity with tire-patterns and knobby shoe-soles.
Weducation: What lovebirds should get before impulsively "tying the knot".
Zeducation: Learning about the last letter in the Canadian-English language.
by QuacksO March 22, 2022
Get the alphabet educationmug. A youngster whose parents are actually still living, but who abruptly "changes" into claiming that he's a parentless child just to get sympathy and/or benefits/perks that he's not entitled to.
Ex-prez Nobama fed us all such a sketchy and muddled birth-certificate story that it's almost like he turned morphan on us.
by QuacksO November 29, 2019
Get the morphanmug.