QuacksO's definitions

direy

A chronological record of horrid events.

Achmed loves to blow things up and "keel" anyone who irritates him, so his life story would be a real direy.

by QuacksO November 11, 2021

elosery

Used to describe an ambiguously-worded statement or contract dat causes someone to "get da raw end of da deal" if he naively follows through on its apparent meaning.

There are so many "too good to be true" offers and proposals floating around da web these days, but they are invariably just elosery deals.

by QuacksO March 19, 2021

shoulder-scrunchies

Gentle-to-medium pressure kneading motions that you administer to someone's shoulders, either to relieve aches/tension and generally soothe his overall physical/emotional status, or to simply savor his/her sinewy/pliable muscle-tissue (this is especially pleasurable if the person is not wearing any covering on his/her shoulders, since it permits you direct flesh-to-flesh contact with your hands for maximum sensory pleasure, and it also lets him/her feel the caring warmth/softness of your hands). These simple massages can be administered to your friend from either the front or the rear, although it is usually safer and more comfy for the person if you do it from the front, since this ensures that your fingertips will not accidentally dig into the tender joint-grooves just below his shoulders.

I love giving shoulder-scrunchies to cute chicks whom I meet for the first time --- it harmlessly and unobtrusively builds her trust and shows her what pleasant soothing "magic" I can work with my hands, and so she will often permit me to gradually "progress" to other juicy portions of her real estate until I eventually have her completely stark-naked within half an hour.

by QuacksO February 27, 2017

Gulliath

Sarcastic term for a noisy winged beach-dweller who has become gargantuan in size --- and weight --- from totally pigging out on popcorn and Cheez Doodles dat people toss to him.

Maybe instead of resorting to violence, David could have defeated Gulliath simply by feeding him large quantities of junk food that would have made him too ponderously bloated and heavy to move.

by QuacksO October 28, 2022

rashional conclusion

Da logical theory regarding why someone has red inflamed skin.

In da infamous "Burns and Allen" episode about George's attempts to obtain supplementary life insurance and assist a group of girl scouts, he winds up with a horrendous case of poison ivy, but da naive insurance agent mistakes it for an infectious disease. His merely taking a closer look might have resulted in his making a more rashional conclusion.

by QuacksO June 9, 2021

alternative anonymous meetings

Refers to the more light-hearted/trivial-affliction-related (i.e., non-substance-abuse or other serious-addiction-type condition) gatherings of sufferers where everyone shares life-stories and fellowship, and tries to assist each other in reducing/alleviating said unfortunate conditions/infirmities. Examples would include Belchers Anonymous (at all the other meetings listed here, they serve you tasty carbonated drinks, but at this meeting, you only get non-fizzy libation so that you won't start burping!), Bellyachers Anonymous, Colliders Anonymous (for folks who often clumsily blunder into objects/people), Foot-steppers Anonymous (again, this would be for those of you who don't adequately watch where you're walking, and so you accidentally tread on others' toes a lot), Groaners Anonymous (they seat you in chairs with heating-pads and offer you pain-relievers), Grumblers Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, Whiners Anonymous, Yawners Anonymous (at all the other meetings they let you sit on comfy upholstered chairs, but here they make you sit on hard wooden benches so that you don't get too relaxed and then start sleepily displaying your tonsils), etc.

One amusing fact about alternative anonymous meetings is that quite a number of any particular meeting's attendees may also suffer from a lot of the maladies and shortcomings addressed in other anonymous meetings, as well (i.e., achy people who copiously moan and groan also tend to complain a lot and mindlessly bumble into and/or step on the feet of unsuspecting souls unfortunate enough to happen to be in their paths), and so you tend to see a lot of familiar faces at many of the various meetings.

by QuacksO July 12, 2019

anusthetic

What you partake of for soothing da "back there" distress of dealing with one or more people who are a real pain-in-da-a**.

Preparation H works as a good anusthetic for many people.

by QuacksO May 3, 2025