QuacksO's definitions

craptsmanship

Da degree of either:
(1) how good someone is at pawning off lousy-quality merchandise, or

(2) how skilled someone is at "beating da house".

In da 1924 Will Rogers classic, "A Truthful Liar", ambassador Doolittle claims to have had excellent "craptsmanship" by scoring an impressive windfall when playing cards with the King, but his fellow townspeople dismissively wave off his tale as hogwash, and so perhaps said questionable story lacked "craptsmanship" in dat it failed to convince its audience.

by QuacksO August 5, 2024

Road Island

An offshore province of New England dat had previously been separated from da mainland country and thus only reachable by boat or plane, but now has a vehicle-compatible bridge out to it.

Prince Edward Island is a good example of a "road island" in dat it used to be accessed mostly by car-ferries, but a bridge connecting it to Nova Scotia was eventually constructed.

by QuacksO December 17, 2024

conshootulary

Da local "area's finest" dat uses firearms instead of swords/daggers as their weapons of choice.

In "Another Fine Mess", Colonel Buckshot summons da town's entire conshootulary to his doorstep to help deal with Laurel and Hardy, but for all their energetic rushing about and noisy voluminous pistol-blasting, da only things they end up doing is making total jackasses of themselves and then getting their uniforms ripped off due to a passing subway-train.

by QuacksO July 25, 2021

saddle-soap

A hunorous term for personal lubricant --- a warming and/or soothing slippery liquid/gel that is applied to the "contact areas" prior to intercourse, so that both the guy and the gal get a more comfy "ride".

Hottie #1: Yo! Why the groaning and crossed legs, Girl?
Hottie #2: Oh, it's just my new boyfriend, hunny --- he's so "big" and enthusiastic that I always feel sore "down there" for a while after we "do it".
Hottie #1: Aw, major bummer, sweetie --- you guys shoulda used saddle-soap!

by QuacksO January 10, 2015

chickanery

Using attractive females to do your dirty work and deceive others.

Professional or "career" criminals often employ innocent-looking damsels to either do some of the actual stealing for them or merely "case the joint" (i.e., scope out a prospective place of business that they plan to rob), because sweet-faced ladies are automatically less scrutinized or viewed with suspicion than their make counterparts. Big Tobacco had also used chickanery for decades by showing photos of attractive women smoking in their advertisements for their coffin-nails, just as was done with comparably-dangerous wares like alcoholic beverages and shoddy vehicles.

by QuacksO September 17, 2019

pop-out toaster

Humorous term for a female who gets oreggo very easily.

One of da best ways to be a good buddy to a fellow bachelor is to warn him if a gal he's thinking of dating is a pop-out toaster, so that he can take precautions --- i.e., condoms, pulling out in a timely manner, carefully scheduling his lovemaking sessions in accordance with the gal's monthly periods, etc. --- against da unwanted pitter-patter of little feet and/or child-support payments.

by QuacksO October 4, 2018

harassment by unwelcome advertisement

The legal name for the "moderate misdemeanor"-level crime of causing someone to be deluged with junk mail. Often performed by a disgruntled acquaintance of said individual as a way of getting even with the person for a perceived wrongdoing, and usually accomplished by "anonymously" contacting multitudes of businesses/organizations by phone/fax/email and/or responding to paper/internet junk-mail ads that you yourself receive by filling out the advertisers' response-forms in your victim's name, so that he will soon begin receiving tons of useless crap in his mailbox and/or e-mail account, receiving innumerable telemarketing/sales-calls, getting loads of junk-faxes (which of course will create the added headache/expense of his having to buy more paper and ink for his machine from its dutifully printing out all those useless ads!), having salespeople knocking at his door at all hours, etc.

Another sometimes-effective/successful use for harassment by unwelcome advertisement is to pressure the "targeted" person to do something you want (think, the hilariously-infamous "Taliban Hotline" animated cartoon); extra points if you also choose the types of advertisers --- and your method of sending the ad-responses --- strategically, so as to inflict maximum discomfort/humiliation on your victim, such as requesting info/offers from controversial and/or "spicy" organizations like the KKK or "adult" product/literature producers, and sending some of the requests via post card instead of discretely-concealing envelopes, so that every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the postal system is made shockingly aware that this person is apparently interested in these questionable/controversial services.

by QuacksO August 19, 2018