QuacksO's definitions

money lawndering

Da shameless "dressing it up all pretty and nice" practice of making ill-gotten wealth appear "clean, green, and refreshingly pristine" just like da lovely thick carpet of grass in yer yard, while covering up all of da underlying "dirt" --- i.e., da various "soiled 'n' unclean" methods --- dat were actually employed to obtain said undeserved riches.

As much "dirty money" as Burnie Madeoff MADE OFF WITH and BURNED THROUGH, he'd have needed a bleepin' PROFESSIONAL LANDSCAPER to do his money lawndering for him --- merely a regular "seed, fertilize, and water" operation wouldn't cut it in his case, given da colossal degree of HIS financial misdeeds!

by QuacksO January 20, 2021

achin' 'n' begs

Refers to the agonized feelings/actions --- i.e., extremes of "pain and pleading" that may include severe stomach-cramping, extended bouts of tearful wailing/imploring for more-filling menu-choices, etc. --- of a "pork 'n' poultry" lover who is unexpectedly being forced to "go vegetarian" or otherwise follow a much "leaner and blander" diet than the rich-flavored grease-and-carbs-laden feasts that he'd been accustomed to chowing down.

(from author Steven Kellogg's "modernized" version of the classic children's tale "Chicken Little"): After being convicted of assorted heinous carnivorous crimes, bacon-'n'-eggs-loving Foxy Loxy was totally in the throes of tortured "achin' 'n' begs" when he learned that his diet in prison would consist of green-bean gruel and weed-juice.

by QuacksO June 24, 2019

sandwich-spoon

Refers to where two people lie on their sides and snuggle up to a third person, either to help said "monkey in the middle" feel warm and/or reassured, or because they both like the person a lot.

A cute gal can save a bundle on heating-oil if she just invites a couple of warm-hearted guys over to sandwich-spoon with her on any night when it's a bit chilly.

by QuacksO November 16, 2018

w.h.m. introduction

Refers to a "totally hands-on" method of getting acquainted where a beamingly-sociable person immediately arms-wraps and majorly "retains" da person whom he's meeting for da first time, prompting said immersively-embraced individual to eventually address da third person who had presumably been gonna introduce da two of them "normally", and meekly inquire, "Who's hugging me?"

Note to all of you eagerly-forward glad-handers out there: while it's often true dat employing da w.h.m. introduction method may indeed be delightful and jovial, please bear in mind dat not everyone has da self-confidence or relaxed personal-boundary perimeters dat you yourself may possess. So to avoid anyone's feeling bashful or "smothered", ya might wanna either (1) initially just extend yer arms tentatively towards da other person to see if he seems comfy wif it, or (2) include da third individual --- i.e., da one who was gonna introduce you to said huggee --- in said stupendous-squeezy, so dat it's more of a "group hug" thing where da not-yet-introduced person won't feel "vulnerable" or "singled out".

by QuacksO February 28, 2025

I see a window of opportunity

That may be so, but is said window actually **open** for you to "acceptably" pass through it, or do you hafta BREAK THE GLASS to get in? Figurative speech, of course --- what it means, obviously, is that not every opportunity you may encounter was meant to be taken, ya know --- just because you CAN do something self-enriching doesn't mean that you SHOULD... for example, if someone has accidentally revealed a "privileged" tidbit of information, that is **not** implied or actual permission for you to utilize said info for your own benefit! Or maybe someone did indeed unknowingly leave something of value just lying around, but that doesn't give you the right to simply take it! Before you just "go grabbing" in cases like this, pause a moment to run the idea though your "Golden Rule analyzer" --- in other words, consider if this would really be fair to everyone involved, especially if you have no quarrel or resentment against said careless person, and therefore you would not be inclined to perform vengeful actions against him! And ask yourself what YOU would want done in an instance like this if YOU had been the one who had inadvertently exposed himself to possible loss or humiliation like this... would you want someone else to just gleefully avail himself of said "blood-opportunity", or would you strongly prefer an observer to just promptly inform you of your error so that you could hastily correct it???

Some repairmen had unwittingly neglected to observe a loose door-latch on a side-entrance to a public-assembly building that I had always enjoyed visiting, and so my initial knee-jerk reaction was to think, "I see a window of opportunity!" in that this unsecured door meant that I could secretly access said meeting-house whenever I wished, even when it was locked up. But then I remembered how kind and generous and accommodating the officials of said establishment had always been to me, and so I forlornly forfeited said "wonderful option" and "did the right thing" instead --- I immediately speed-waked downtown and informed one of the community's seniors about the defective lock. He was extremely grateful to me, warmly praised me for my conscientiousness, and even graciously gave me one-time permission to utilize said unsecured door to slip back inside the now-closed building and finish making a movie ("You may even turn some lights back on to brighten up the room enough for your camera!") of the hall's delightful interior furnishings, even though it was technically "after hours" and so nobody else was there.

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

littlery

A better name for what playing Powerball or Megabucks actually ends up being 99% of the time... if you ever win at all, it's generally just a LITTLE money, not a LOT. :P

If they'd call it a LITTLEry instead of a LOTtery, that would be more honest advertising for the vast majority of the players; it's said that your more likely to get struck by lightning that win the big jackpot.

by QuacksO October 22, 2020

jackupuncture

Da "medical treatment" dat Jill received atop da hill from her weed-bleary male companion dat involved da insertion of his "probing device" into her "nerve center".

Due to Silly Jill's having "forgotten her pill", da gleeful "jackupuncture" dat said "high" female received from her pot-gathering colleague turned out to be "childish behavior".

by QuacksO February 8, 2023