QuacksO's definitions

catch-and-release

1. A legal way for sadists to inflict pain and injury on a fragile defenseless living creature. How would YOU like it if someone offered you a morsel of food when you were hungry, only to gleefully drive a big ol’ BARBED SPIKE through your cheek as you trustingly bit down on said tasty tidbit, and THEN just clumsily yank out the torture-device and toss you back out on your ear without even bothering to bandage you up?!?!??? I would **never** do anything like this, nor can I see how there could possibly be any legitimate pleasure in it --- for mercy’s sakes! --- unless you’re planning on keeping da meat, LET DA POOR FISH ALONE TO SWIM IN PEACE! If you aren’t planning to sell your catch or fry it up for dinner, leave your fishin’ poles at home, fer cryin’ out loud!
2. What “bad boys” wish da cops would “do when they come for you”, rather than arresting the troublemakers after a lengthy pursuit.
3. What a selfish or ”shallow” person does whenever he “plays the field”.

I keep my friends “for life” --- if you treat me right, I will always “be there for you” (i.e., give you emotional support, come and pick you up if you get stranded somewhere, unclog your toilet and otherwise lend you a hand as needed, etc.). I never practice “catch-and-release”, even if things don’t work out romantically between us.

by QuacksO December 26, 2018

fiskal year

Da annual financial record of da company dat makes da ubiquitous orange-handled scissors.

As breakable as those chintzy plastic-handled scissors are, I'm amazed dat their manufacturer can even get through a single fiskal year!

by QuacksO May 11, 2022

eggsigency

An urgent need for cackle-berries.

Da local diner is famous for their awesome breakfast omelettes, and so there is always a potential eggsigency every morning.

by QuacksO May 9, 2022

standuation

A locale or conundrum dat obliges you to remain on yer feet instead of planting yer butt. A SITuation is usually easier to deal wif no what da delay is, in dat at least your legs and feet won't get tired and sore while you're waiting for said cranky conditions to resolve themselves.

Elderly folks wif mobility issues should ask for a wheeled walker wif a seat, so as not to run into any unforeseen standuations.

by QuacksO June 2, 2023

galvalanting

Having a high old time performing rust-proofing tasks in various widespread locales.

I always love shiny tin objects, so my employment as a metal-finisher is such a blast --- I actually get paid to go galvalanting around doing what I most enjoy.

by QuacksO February 1, 2023

Michael Milk'em

The infamous effeminate-featured junk-bond swindler from the '80's who selfishly viewed his investors as merely bountiful dairy-cows waiting to be gluttonously guzzled from.

Michael Milk'em squeezed and drained his investors dry, and then good ol' Bernie "made off" with the ill-gotten "liquid assets".

by QuacksO July 14, 2018

choiropractor

A physical-therapy doctor who manually aligns your windpipe and vocal chords for perfect singing-pitch and airflow control.

If da teenage delinquent who hadda "face da music" by listening to his horridly-off-key-voiced mom sing "America The Beautiful" on da court karaoke had asked said female parent to go see a choiropractor first, perhaps her vocal rendition of said patriotic ballad might have been a bit more palatable for him to endure.

by QuacksO February 19, 2023