QuacksO's definitions
The infamous cargo-carrier that ran aground (due to Captain Joseph Hazlenut's having downed one too many cups of joe) in Alaska and spilled thousands of pounds of Colombian coffee into the bay, giving the surrounding wildlife a major case of the caffeine-jitters and thus causing them to behave really weird for weeks afterwards. The fiasco caused a major "media-buzz", as well.
After the U.S.S. Juan Valdez accident, coffee-transporting cargo-vessels were required to pack their coffee in separate thick-walled metal shipping-containers rather than just bulk-filling their holds with the dry product, to reduce the chance of the coffee's just spilling right out into the ocean if the ship's hull is breached.
by QuacksO August 5, 2018
Get the U.S.S. Juan Valdezmug. Where you use a straw or swizzle-stick to probe down into da big “scuba”* ice cream in yer cone to determine if da diner’s soda-jerk remembered to include yer prize at da bottom, or to check and see if there is indeed a delightful sticky-creamy chocolate-fudge center.
*Apologies to Abbot & Costello for swipin’ their joke here. :P
*Apologies to Abbot & Costello for swipin’ their joke here. :P
Redneck psychologist: I’ve found that one of the best --- and least painful/intrusive --- ways to determine if a client has obsessive-compulsive tendencies is to take him out for ice cream at a fast-food joint that offers a fun little prize down inside the cone, and then I simply observe whether my client performs a “scuba-diving” action before he finishes the ice cream.
by QuacksO September 15, 2018
Get the scuba-divingmug. Da stunningly-beautiful temple in Agra, India has been standing for centuries, so it appears dat either no major sabotaj existed, or it was ultimately ineffective at preventing da completion of said New Seventh Wonder of da World.
by QuacksO November 2, 2025
Get the sabotajmug. Refers to da humiliating shocker dat occurred when Mary's small fuzzy ovine-friend decided to come out of hiding under her school-desk and patteringly follow her up to da blackboard.
Having her lamb innocently reveal itself in front of da entire class was indeed embarrassing to Mary, but fortunately her teacher was a good-natured sort who took said minor mishap in stride and even laughed heartily about it, and so da incident was much less of a calambity than it might have been.
by QuacksO May 28, 2021
Get the calambitymug. Da comforting companionship dat da Liberty Mutual dude gets from his goofy-lookin' bulgy-eyed feathered buddy.
Dunno how anyone could actually derive much emutional support from a weird flightless bird dat is known for being short-tempered and aggressive, but hey --- if dat's your thing, more power to you. Safety goggles and thick-fabric protective clothing might be wise to wear when communing with said fuzzy buddies, though, since their formidable beaks and claws are not exactly objects dat you'd wanna get too friendly with.
by QuacksO March 20, 2021
Get the emutional supportmug. Cutting wif scissors and/or carefully separating sheet-portions along perforations, so as to avoid ripping da material in ragged-edged pieces.
Making fussy little snips or careful tugs rather than simply yankin' a sheet of paper or cloth in two may indeed be a neater and more-accurate altornative, but many folks lack da patience and/or hand-movement precision for dat crap.
by QuacksO March 1, 2023
Get the altornativemug. Glaringly-obvious proof that is so easy to observe that even a clueless "thickhead" should be able to notice it.
In Edgar Allen Poe's "The Purloined Letter", Monsieur Dupin is able to locate the stolen missive quite easily in the Minister's study, even though the Prefect and his men had twice minutely searched said room, yet never noticed said evidense that was right out in plain view.
by QuacksO June 23, 2019
Get the evidensemug.