QuacksO's definitions

derection

Refers to a specific navigational heading towards something that gives you a major boner.

If surrounded by a group of comparably-attractive ladies, a typical dude will usually head in da derection of da gal wif da biggest boobs.

by QuacksO March 8, 2019

wrackupuncture

"Needling" treatment dat supposedly helps ease da assorted searing pains of Arthur Itis and Charles Horse.

I don't usually think too much of da modern "drugs and surgery" way of treating chronic aches and soreness, and I'm all for exploring alternative medicine and ancient cures. But I just can't help wondering if wrackupuncture would really improve matters overall --- it seems like you'd just end up causing even more 'pain in da butt" misery, since you'd now have lots of tiny pin-pricks all over you, in addition to your cramped spasmy joints and muscles!

by QuacksO February 8, 2023

asspirations

(n.) Refers to two different posterior-related subjects:
1. Motivated dreams/hopes of being permitted sexual access to someone's behind (i.e., "given ass")
2. Farts (i.e., “anal respirations”).

One should note that such bodily expulsions (especially if they are excessively loud/odiferous) as mentioned in Definition 2 may very likely have a direct and dramatic "dampening effect" on the intensity of the desirous thoughts/feelings described in Definition 1. Nothing turns off someone of either gender more quickly/dramatically than a humongous load of sulphur-flavored methane ejected at close range. This instantaneous negative reaction can either be an enormously vexing problem or an incredibly useful tool, depending on the circumstances and the wishes/intent of the wind-breaker. On the one hand, for example, if someone is trying to cause his/her romantic partner to feel happy and comfortable about bodily-sharing, he will want to make the experience as pleasant/peaceful as possible, and so any carelessly-released bubble of gas would definitely be inadvisable. If, however, one of the "lovers" is having serious doubts about the compatibility/advisability of the romantic union, his "letting one rip" can be a powerful strategy to cause the other person to quickly lose interest and flee, without either individual's actually saying anything to discourage further lovemaking.

Baked-bean-loving dude: I have **great asspirations** every time I see a chick with a cute round bum, but then I always drive her away with my **bodily asspirations** that invariably seem to pop out right when we're in the middle of humpin'.

by QuacksO January 14, 2015

squallify

What you hope to do by making enough or a noisy tear-flooded to-do about your eligibility for something.

As rich and influential as his parents were, Ethan Couch could usually squallify for whatever program or benefits he wanted access to simply by throwing a spoiled-brat tantrum.

by QuacksO April 12, 2020

Just say "no"

But secretly go ahead and do/use/market it, anyway. :P

I always ask myself how big a hypocrite anyone who grandiosely says, "Just say "no" possibly is, since we all know dat many people who scream and holler against various "pleasure/recreational items/practices" (i.e., tobacco, drugs, alcohol, gambling. sex, video-games, etc.) either partake of said sinfuls themselves (think, Principal Strickland in "Back To The Future II", who vehemently rails against teenage drinking, but is himself a closet alcoholic), or financially profit from them (like where da boys in da Homer Price story "Pie and Punch and You-Know-Whats" grumblingly discuss how one of da grade-school teachers verbally condemns chewing-gum, and yet her husband sells a lot of it at his store every day).

by QuacksO December 24, 2019

udder nincompoop

What da Duke of Rudling would have contemptuously called Hynes if he'd tried to milk cows instead of care for dogs.

If you never take ta time or effort to learn da special hand-movements necessary to "get da moo-juice from Bossy", you'll look like an udder nincompoop!

by QuacksO October 28, 2023

fellony

A serious crime that either is caused by someone's falling, or causes someone else to fall down.

A "fellony" can also refer to someone's illegally/unethically cutting/breaking down (i.e., "felling") a tree or other vertical object. Ordinarily, a classic example of this act might be the famous (or infamous!) tale about the tomahawk-wielding young George Washington, but it turns out that this narrative was just a myth (well, I must admit that I HAD always kinda wondered how "da great G.W." could have done all the awful things he was known for --- such as wrongfully jailing farmers, and keeping and disgracefully mistreating slaves --- if he was such an "honest" and "truthful" soul as a child!)) perpetrated by an overzealous newspaper-journalist, so I guess we would need to look elsewhere for a true and valid example... maybe the funny Echo-brand chain-saw ad, where the super-excited dude was so eager to try out his new Echo chain saw that he mindlessly cut down a neighbor's tree, and then when said neighbor confronted him about it ("That's **my tree** that you just cut down!"), the imperturbable miscreant sunnily replies, "Oh, no problem --- glad to do it for ya!"

by QuacksO September 12, 2019