Definitions by QuacksO

bean sprouts and tofu 

Two of the very few foods in the world that are actually good for you.

While it is indeed true that bean sprouts and tofu are really yucky-tasting and never seem to fill you up, they are literally one of the few edibles on Earth that you can actually eat without guilt (or weight-gain!). There's a simple rule of thumb when choosing what foods to stuff yer face with --- if it TASTES GOOD, it's not GOOD FOR YOU... plain and simple. But you already knew that. Pass the burgers and fries, please!

bean sprouts and tofu by QuacksO September 5, 2019

Murphy's Law of Food-Flavor

"The better something tastes and/or the more filling it is, the worse it is for you." (Well, duhhh...!) Similar to when you are given a spoonful of medicinal syrup and it tastes absolutely terrible, and so you figure that it MUST be good for you. (And of course, that may indeed be true sometimes, but I wonder if a lot of times it's merely somewhat of a placebo effect --- your body just hurries up and gets well so that it doesn't hafta stomach the tortures of gagging down any more of that horrid bitter/sour elixir!)

I love rich sumptuous foods like burgers and fries, but my hippie-guru doctor put me on a diet of yucky-tasting bean sprouts and tofu --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Food-Flavor!

Murphy's Law of Food-Flavor by QuacksO September 5, 2019

tinnytus 

An affliction of the ears which causes every sound to seem cheap and metallic.

Besides receiving a heart, Dorothy Gale's sheet-metal lumberjack friend also asked The Great Wizard to install a pair of hearing-devices to cure his inherent tinnytus.

tinnytus by QuacksO September 4, 2019

damnages 

What you sue for when the use of profanity has caused harm and/or distress.

People were reluctant to allow swear-words to be used in motion pictures, but once Clark Gable famously used one in "Gone With The Wind", the damnages were done, and now movies are full of the foulest of language.

damnages by QuacksO September 4, 2019

treble damages 

What you ask for in a lawsuit against an audio-equipment manufacturer due to your stereo's loudspeakers having a dull muffled "muddy" sound instead of producing crisp high-frequencies as they are supposed to.

I am amazed that anyone would bother suing for treble damages; since many audiophiles --- especially the younger ones --- complain that their systems don't produce enough BASS... usually the midrange and high notes come through just fine.

treble damages by QuacksO September 4, 2019

foundling fathers 

A bunch of crybaby-a** mid-18th-century rich-bug dudes who kept slaves and generally behaved disgracefully in their personal lives, but who still wanted to be free of the tyranny of England --- primarily for their own selfish financial sakes, though, not for the love of John Q. Public.

John Hancock realized how weak-willed and cowardly most of the minuscule-signature-scrawling signers of the Declaration of Independence were, and so he wrote his own name in huge letters to show King George how much bolder he was than most of the other wimpy foundling fathers.

foundling fathers by QuacksO September 3, 2019

sports-star start 

Refers to da "ideal" performance --- i.e., starting right up with just a brief cranking --- when firing up your car's engine; said perfect start sounds something like a famous baseball-player's name: "Carl-Yastrzemski --- VROOM!"

I imagine that some folks night find it a little odd to have a car's crank-and-catch sounds described as a "sports-star start", but I doubt that "The Great Yaz" would mind all that much, especially since said onomatopoeia description refers to a positive and welcome sound.

sports-star start by QuacksO September 2, 2019