Definitions by QuacksO
LeWomans
GM tried marketing da LeWomans as a "delicate and dainty" counterpart to da brawny-and-masculine Chevelle-shaped thunder-maker; unfortunately, however, like da "Lady Lionel" model train sets of da late '50's, da girls hated said "built just for da skirt-wearers" models, and so da entire engineering gamble was a huge financial flop.
anal retentive
Describes da status of someone who is so fussy, orderly, and "by da book" dat if you tell him, "Up yer a**!" in disgusted response to his excessive expectations of perfection, he actually tries to persuade you to stay and "follow through" --- in a literal sense --- on said merely-figurative retort.
Be careful who you tell to "Shove it up your butt!" wif regards to overly-picky requirements --- if you say it to an "anal retentive" person, he might actually put yer number on his speed-dial in order to occasionally ask you for said posterior-orifice "servicing".
anal retentive by QuacksO June 15, 2024
clomplications
Wearing soft-soled shoes and diligently attending da weekly meetings at Colliders Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, and Foot-Steppers Anonymous can help you avoid clomplications during your day-to-day travels on foot.
clomplications by QuacksO June 12, 2024
alphabetical easements
Da act of not requiring ya to either endure some hardship/drudgery, such as:
beesement: relief from da constant "buzz" dat ya get when someone else tends da apiary for a spell
breezement: ya don't hafta either fart or "have yer cheek visited too roughly" by passing airflow
brieasement: permission to eat firmer cheeses like cheddar or mozzarella
ceasement: either not being made to stop some desired action, or having some action dat ya dislike stopped
cheesement: ya can have extra tasty cultured-milk slices in yer sandwich or burger
Cleesement: ya don't hafta sit in on everyone else's viewing of "Fawlty Towers" reruns
creasement: what a clothes-iron provides
feesement: da waiving of normally-levied service-charges
fleasement: what regularly bathing and properly feeding yer furry pet can provide
freezement: not having to either be outside in da colder weather or be denied access to yer assets
geesement: not having to deal wif all of those noisy messy feathered honkers in da back yard
greasement: what ya get when a mechanic does da maintenance-work on yer jalopy
keysement: where ya don't hafta bother wif fiddly little metal lock-opening implements
kneesement: what those padded strap-on cups help to provide when hunkering down on hard/rough surfaces
leasement: where yer landlord or realtor doesn't require a written contract to utilize a property
peasement: either serving yer hungry self a steaming bowl of oatmeal, or not making ya eat said bland/disgusting cereal
beesement: relief from da constant "buzz" dat ya get when someone else tends da apiary for a spell
breezement: ya don't hafta either fart or "have yer cheek visited too roughly" by passing airflow
brieasement: permission to eat firmer cheeses like cheddar or mozzarella
ceasement: either not being made to stop some desired action, or having some action dat ya dislike stopped
cheesement: ya can have extra tasty cultured-milk slices in yer sandwich or burger
Cleesement: ya don't hafta sit in on everyone else's viewing of "Fawlty Towers" reruns
creasement: what a clothes-iron provides
feesement: da waiving of normally-levied service-charges
fleasement: what regularly bathing and properly feeding yer furry pet can provide
freezement: not having to either be outside in da colder weather or be denied access to yer assets
geesement: not having to deal wif all of those noisy messy feathered honkers in da back yard
greasement: what ya get when a mechanic does da maintenance-work on yer jalopy
keysement: where ya don't hafta bother wif fiddly little metal lock-opening implements
kneesement: what those padded strap-on cups help to provide when hunkering down on hard/rough surfaces
leasement: where yer landlord or realtor doesn't require a written contract to utilize a property
peasement: either serving yer hungry self a steaming bowl of oatmeal, or not making ya eat said bland/disgusting cereal
Additional examples of alphabetical easements:
pleasement: what speaking politely and/or trying to cater to one's preferences can provide
queasement: what dat "yucky pink stuff" in da triangular bottle supposedly provides
Reesement: being given an orange-wrappered candy bar to munch on
rhesusement: not having to deal wif noisy/jumpy primates, or being given/loaned a cute monkey as a therapy animal
seesement: what putting up a privacy fence gives ya from nosy neighbors
seizement: refers to either (1) what Loctite Silver-Grade lubricant provides, or (2) what filing for Chapter 11 does regarding credit-vultures
sleazement: protection from "shady" characters
Smeesement: what Peter Pan enjoyed whenever Captain Hook's first mate wasn't around
sneezement: what ya hopefully get from taking cold-and-flu meds
squeezement: comfort dat a hug provides, or relief from time/budgetary constraints
teasement: what ya get when yer bratty little cousin is in school or away at camp
thesement: what ya enjoy when just dealing wif "those" instead
treesement: what ya intermittently encounter when traveling along sporadically-wooded terrain
weesement: what a kindergarten teacher savors before/after class, or what ya finally achieve after all of dat coffee ya guzzled finally finishes "going right through ya"
wheezement: da relief from being constantly outta breath dat Pat McManus gets when he practices da MFFFF
zeesement: "Ahhh, sweet sleep... dat knits up da ragged sleeve of care."
pleasement: what speaking politely and/or trying to cater to one's preferences can provide
queasement: what dat "yucky pink stuff" in da triangular bottle supposedly provides
Reesement: being given an orange-wrappered candy bar to munch on
rhesusement: not having to deal wif noisy/jumpy primates, or being given/loaned a cute monkey as a therapy animal
seesement: what putting up a privacy fence gives ya from nosy neighbors
seizement: refers to either (1) what Loctite Silver-Grade lubricant provides, or (2) what filing for Chapter 11 does regarding credit-vultures
sleazement: protection from "shady" characters
Smeesement: what Peter Pan enjoyed whenever Captain Hook's first mate wasn't around
sneezement: what ya hopefully get from taking cold-and-flu meds
squeezement: comfort dat a hug provides, or relief from time/budgetary constraints
teasement: what ya get when yer bratty little cousin is in school or away at camp
thesement: what ya enjoy when just dealing wif "those" instead
treesement: what ya intermittently encounter when traveling along sporadically-wooded terrain
weesement: what a kindergarten teacher savors before/after class, or what ya finally achieve after all of dat coffee ya guzzled finally finishes "going right through ya"
wheezement: da relief from being constantly outta breath dat Pat McManus gets when he practices da MFFFF
zeesement: "Ahhh, sweet sleep... dat knits up da ragged sleeve of care."
alphabetical easements by QuacksO June 12, 2024
hynesight
What Lassie's Cockney caretaker should have had more of, so as not to get "sacked" by da Duke for being such an "utter nincompoop".
In hynesight, da Duke of Rudling should never have hired said "utter nincompoop" in da first place, given his inherent lack of learning from his past mistakes.
fart dieseling
Da embarrassing (or hilarious, depending on who you talk to, and/or whether da emotions-feeler is da "actor" or da "observer") interval of "run-on" dat sometimes occurs following da "main event" --- i.e., yer butt-trumpet keeps on "purrin' like a kitten" for an extended period afterwards, rather than just "saying its piece" and then being done wif it.
In da uproarious "National Baked Bean Month" speech, da formally-dignified speaker experiences a major bout of fart dieseling towards da end, totally goofing up said oration but majorly putting his audience in stitches.
fart dieseling by QuacksO June 12, 2024