Couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery

When someone is so incompetent that they quite literally couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery

Person 1: "Ere, look at 'im ovver yonder"
Person 2: "does tha mean malc?"
Person 1: "Ay, that's 'im"
Person 2 "Ay, dunt trust 'im, 'e couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery"
Person 1: "Ta, fer that advice"

by Proper Sheffield lad March 14, 2022

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It'll be Reyt

When things seem like they're going up the swanny just remember this phrase and 99% of the time, it does sod all.

Person 1: "Oh god why can't I do this?!"
Person 2: "Ah come on mate, it'll be reyt

*Reyt can be stylised as Reet

by Proper Sheffield lad February 11, 2022

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I'll tell thee that f'nowt

A typical Yorkshire phrase used mostly when arguing with someone.

Bob: Gi' Ore, you're bloody daft you are"
Jim: "And you're a complete wazzock, I'll tell thee that f'nowt!"

by Proper Sheffield lad October 16, 2021

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Blue alert

One of the Funniest scenes in television, this originates from the BBC Sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf the episode is S6E2 titled Legion and it goes like this;

Rimmer: Go to Blue Alert.
Lister: What for? There's no one to alert, we're all here.
Rimmer: I'd just feel more comfortable if we were all on our toes because everyone's aware it's a Blue Alert situation.
Lister: We all are on our toes!
Rimmer: May I remind you all of Space Corps Directive 34124?
Kryten: 34124. "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity".
Rimmer: Damn you both, all the way to Hades! I want to go to Blue Alert!
Lister: Okay, okay.
He presses a button; a sign reading 'Alert' in blue lighting begins flashing pathetically in the corner of the cabin
Rimmer: Thank you. A bit of professionalism.
...
Rimmer: Step up to Red Alert!
Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

by Proper Sheffield lad April 29, 2022

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Sack the juggler

A phrase commonly said in pubs in England when a customer or the person behind the bar drops a glass or a bottle, usually preceeded by a cheer by all who are in the pub

Come on, it's pretty obvious how you use it.
It literally says it above.

Sack the juggler

by Proper Sheffield lad April 25, 2022

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