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President Warren G. Harding's definitions

Magic Negro

A male or female of African-American heritage that appears in a movie, story, or play, often with some sort of magical, sage powers, strictly for the purpose of providing such wisdom to the white hero, for no apparent reason, but just when he or she needs it the most. They often then immediately depart from the story altogether.

The Magic Negro has no life of his or her own, but seems to see all, know all, and divine all, due to their humble roots and avoidance of the racist white power structure that our hero-of-European-heritage so nobly rebels against. Typically appearing in 19th century- or early-20th century period pieces, the Magic Negro has more recently been seen dispensing his or her powers from within the existing white establishment, as with the character of Morpheus in "The Matrix."

Not to be confused with Barack Obama, who had a lengthy career as a lawyer and state senator which was often overlooked by many American conservatives, eager to pass him off with a dismissive stereotype, despite the fact that upon assuming the Presidency in 2009, had more government and legal experience than George W. Bush did in 2001.

See also, Magical Negro.
John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) in "The Green Mile," Bagger Vance (Will Smith) in "The Legend of Bagger Vance," and Cash (Don Cheadle) in "The Family Man" are all textbook examples of the Magic Negro.
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table general

The person who directs the movement, placement, and direction of food at the dinner table, particularly at a large meal or gathering. This can be achieved by democracy, but is more typically dictated by strength of character and who has the best spatial relations... or just the most experience with food.
"We were overwhelmed by the amount of food on the table for the 12-person Christmas dinner. Luckily Grandpa was an efficient table general.
by President Warren G. Harding December 28, 2010
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OKC Thunder

The arbitrary name given to the NBA's Seattle Supersonics after they were stolen by a lying, dishonest, manipulative Oklahoma City businessman. So named because in a state as boring as Oklahoma, the most interesting thing anyone could think to name their only pro-team after was the weather.

The theft was so blatant and offensive that even local Oklahoma City residents expressed discomfort with acquiring a pro franchise in such a manner, having been previously rooting for the New Orleans Hornets during the temporary Katrina-related relocation of 2005-06.

Seattle residents still vent with rage over the actions of the OKC businessman and the former Sonics owner. Even renowned sports columnist The "Sports Guy" Bill Simmons refuses to call the team by their new name, referring to them in all print as the Zombie Sonics.

In short, every sports movie ever made has a villian who is threatening to move the team for no good reason. The OKC Thunder are permanent, living proof that bad guys really do win in real life.
Trent: Yo, you wanna go to the game tonight? Lakers are starting their 3-game homestand.
Kent: Eh, dunno, who are they playing?
Trent: Oh.... oh. The OKC Thunder. Never mind then, man, I don't want to support that shitty team, even on accident. Let's go watch football instead.
by President Warren G. Harding January 3, 2010
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Conference USA

An NCAA collegiate conference formed in 1995, located in mostly the southeastern portion of the United States.

Initially a merger between two smaller conferences which did not sponsor football at the time, C-USA added its 12th member in 1996 to even out the membership.

Though members have left in the ensuing years, most notably to the expansion of the Big East prior to the 2005 season, Conference USA responded admirably by extending invitations to schools from the mid-major WAC and MAC conferences. As of 2010, C-USA has 12 universities in its fold, is recognized nationally in athletics as well as academics, and has more football bowl tie-ins than any other mid-major conference.

C-USA East:
University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) Blazers
University of Central Florida (UCF) Golden Knights
East Carolina University (ECU) Pirates
Marshall University Thundering Herd
Memphis Tigers
Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles

C-USA West:
University of Houston Cougars
Rice University Owls
Southern Methodist University (SMU) Mustangs
University of Texas at El Paso (UTEP) Miners
Tulane Green Wave
Tulsa Golden Hurricane
(1) Guido: Hey, my team's playing Tulsa this weekend. Why we gotta schedule such weak-ass Sun Belt competition?
Fredo: Dude, Tulsa plays in Conference USA. They're not exactly the Big 12, but they have six automatic bowl tie-ins and super-high attendance. Don't be hatin'.
Guido: My bad, dawg.

(2) Tara: Like, OMG, my boyfriend loves the SEC but I can't stand their crazed, screaming fans all year long. What should I do?
Kara: You should pick a Conference USA school. It's, like, totally the same geographic region, n' junk? Except it's way more fun, a lot less redneck, and you can still go to a bowl game or NCAA basketball tournament that kicks ass!
Tara: That is SO cool! I'll look into that! For serious!
by President Warren G. Harding December 3, 2009
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buysexual

Someone who gets turned on by, or derives sexual pleasure from, shopping, or being taken shopping.
(1) Taneequah: Yo, Shaneequah ain't gettin' none, so she went out to the mall and picked up 23 new outfits and a X-Box.

Sharonda: You trippin'. That bitch be buysexual all up in herrrrrrre.

(2) Chad: I say, I do believe Edward took Muffy out shopping for jewelry this past week-end, at the conclusion of which, she did give up the booty.

Sheldon: Mmm, QUITE the buysexual, wouldn't you say?
by President Warren G. Harding December 20, 2009
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strip tase

1) The act of erotically dancing for someone or someones, perhaps with removal of clothing articles, so as to distract said person or persons before using a taser on them.

2) Typo of "strip tease."

3) Best not to confuse the two.
1) "I was over at Michael's house last night, and I gave him a strip tase...."

2) "OMG is he okay?!

3) "%#@$ iPhone!!"
by President Warren G. Harding January 26, 2011
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buy-sexual

Someone who gets turned on by, or derives sexual pleasure from, shopping, or being taken shopping.
(1) Taneequah: Yo, Shaneequah ain't gettin' none, so she went out to the mall and picked up 23 new outfits and a X-Box.

Sharonda: You trippin'. That bitch be buy-sexual all up in herrrrrrre.

(2) Chad: I say, I do believe Edward took Muffy out shopping for jewelry this past week-end, at the conclusion of which, she did give up the booty.

Sheldon: Mmm, QUITE the buy-sexual, wouldn't you say?
by President Warren G. Harding April 22, 2010
mugGet the buy-sexualmug.

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