Pipe Downn's definitions

catflap

Arse. Ass. The fudge tunnel. The marmite mine. The "porcelain pebbledasher".

Used particularly to describe the potential adjacence of that region to one's foot.

You waantin a kick up the catflap, ya prick?

by Pipe Downn December 10, 2011

shampoo

A fake turd.

Derived from combination of sham and poo.

I thought the dog had managed to crap in the bathroom cabinet, but it was just shampoo.

by Pipe Downn March 21, 2010

fuck all

To have total sex: to have sex with everything.

Some people like to have sexual intercourse with individuals.

But I am bigger than that.

I will do nothing less than fuck all.

by Pipe Downn March 30, 2009

douchery

Douchery is douchebaggery which is merely tedious.

Unlike full-blown douchebaggery, mere douchery does not provoke sufficient passion in the observer to make the two hard consonants in the middle of the word worth the effort.

Jack: Check it - what kind of guy comes to a football game wearing a Vacheron watch? Douchebaggery!
Joe: Nah man, that's just a fake.
Jack and Joe: <sigh> Douchery...

by Pipe Downn January 10, 2010

go fuck yourself

This is a common phrase, which people often over-complicate.

In fact, it means exactly what it says:

GO: Go, get hence, vacate yrself from here. And instead:
FUCK: Fuck, shag, accost, effect carnal intercourse with:
YOURSELF: You, yourself, you.

Whaddya mean what do I mean go fuck yourself?
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You. Wanker.
Simple.

by Pipe Downn September 13, 2009

bad ass

A bottom which is naughty.

Used particularly in the context of flatulence.

(Gentleman breaks wind)

Gent: Oh BAD ASS!!! BAD ASS!!!

(Gent spanks self on posterior: not hard enough to cause permanent dysfunction, but firmly enough to punish.)

by Pipe Downn January 20, 2009

Guitard

A retard who plays the guitar.

Pronounced "g-ee-tard" - with a hard "g", and emphasis on the "ee" sound.

Applies particularly if excessive guitar-playing has caused or contributed to the retardation.

Chuck has been playing Smoke On The Water for the last seven hours.

What a guitard!

by Pipe Downn January 22, 2009