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Peter Greenwall's definitions

Upgrade High

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that short-lived personal satisfaction you get just after upgrading your software to the latest version
oh what an upgrade high I'm on - I'm now running the latest version of Skype, BBM and BB Sync for Mac. Pity it will only last a few days...
by Peter Greenwall November 13, 2011
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raging groupon

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an obsessive desire to participate in the latest groupon deal
I woke up with a raging groupon this morn - inbox filled with so many exciting deals, what to do?? apple mini speakers? anti-stress facial? love massage neck pillow? ooh the flotation pool treatment looks good, but then so does a Indian head neck & shoulder, or a photoshoot I could justify, somehow. Hey anyone know what the regular price of non invasive ultrasound liposuction is? How do I know $240 is a good deal?
by Peter Greenwall November 7, 2011
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forkage

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a fee that restaurants with unused tables could charge for people who want to bring their own food, as long as they order drinks
Hostess: Table for 2?

Diner: Well actually we were just on our way home to eat our take-aways and we saw all these empty tables outside your pub, so we were wondering if you'd let us sit outside. You're welcome to charge us a 'forkage' and we'll order 2 beers...

Hostess: so you'd like to have a picnic at our restaurant. Is that correct?

Diner: kind of yes! But if you're concerned about the take-away boxes, you could serve us the food on your own plates - we promise to tip the waiter! Why don't you suggest the concept to your boss, as a way to fill unused tables?
by Peter Greenwall October 31, 2011
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voice-prompt hell

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the frustration experienced when dialling a large organization to speak to a real person about a specific query that isn't covered by the maze of multiple automated options, and / or the voice recognition system can't understand you
I just spent at least 10 minutes in voice-prompt hell trying to speak to someone about my traffic fine, only to discover at the end there's an option to press zero to speak to a real person
by Peter Greenwall July 6, 2011
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someone who enjoys viewing content on facebook, twitter etc without 'liking' or adding anything to the conversation
"Hey Pete, good to see you, I'm loving your status updates and the pics you post"

Pete: "Really now? This is fascinating. You tell me this now that you're bumping into me in the real world, but for some reason you can't click 'like' or add to the conversation. Why do you enjoy & ignore? You're such a social voyeur!"
by Peter Greenwall June 11, 2011
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Enjoy & Ignore

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the act of enjoying content on facebook, twitter etc without 'liking' or adding anything to the conversation
what makes people post all their private thoughts on Facebook & Twitter? Not me! I'm a social voyeur - happy to enjoy & ignore - no ways in hell would I ever post anything!
by Peter Greenwall June 11, 2011
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twefix

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the TW prefix used to twitterise regular words
stop tweaking words with the TW twefix - it's not twendy anymore, its just retwiculous so twut the twuck up
by Peter Greenwall May 22, 2011
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