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Definitions by OldFart77

Three Part Pussy Shot 

Any alcoholic shot or drink that has more than two ingredients. A great way to slow an already busy bar to a dead stop. Ordered and consumed more often than not by women.
The place was busy, two bartenders running their asses off. Fred thought he was getting close to being served, but then the group next to him had the bartender rounding up the RumChata, Vodka, fruit juice, pixie dust., etc. "Shit. She has to make four Three Part Pussy Shots, I'll be here forever."
Three Part Pussy Shot by OldFart77 September 4, 2016

Lo'steem Screen 

The extra viewfinder now found on the front of digital cameras. It exists for those who can't get through a day without taking a picture of themselves.
D: Did you see April's new camera, it's got the Lo'steem Screen that's the latest feature

B: Oh shit, now EVERY picture of her vain ass will be perfectly composed.

D: Yep. No more editing out the bad ones, she'll have more time left to tell us how hot she is.
Lo'steem Screen by OldFart77 December 25, 2010

bag chair and a beer 

The essentials for watching a particular event. A "bag chair" is a folding, portable camp chair that can be taken anywhere and set up instantly, your "beer" is your relaxation beverage of choice.

When an event promises to be interesting and worth watching, you go get your bag chair and a beer, then settle in and observe!
Ralph: Boss just found out about Mike leaving early the last couple days, he's looking for him to chew his ass out.

Ed: Oh-h-h-h-h I gotta see this!

Ralph: Yep, gonna get my bag chair and a beer ...

- - - - - - - -

T: Oh man, I think Jen and Amy are all drunked up and checking each other out

E: M-m-m-m-m they'll be sneaking off and going at it before you know it

T: Yep. Gotta get my bag chair and a beer ...
bag chair and a beer by OldFart77 November 8, 2010

Checkout Drama

The inevitable delay when you are in a hurry, caused by the clown in front of you having issues with paying for their things. Very common in Walmart and 7-11, less prevalent in Home Depot or Cosco.
(drama person, pick one or more)
| why WON'T it take my card, I got all kind of money on it...
| OK, then try THIS credit card...
| Muthafucker, that IS my PIN number ...

(you)
Aw Jeezus H Christ, I don't need this Checkout Drama. FML.
Checkout Drama by OldFart77 July 11, 2010

postsantum depression 

The incredible letdown some folks experience when they realize Christmas is over
(typical Monday after Christmas office discussion)

Holy hell, why is Michelle ragging it with me?

It's not just you, she's got a bad case of postsantum depression.
postsantum depression by OldFart77 December 26, 2009

NTFT Music

(Acronym)
The easiest way to summarize and define hardcore club hip-hop rap music: "Nigga-This-Fuck-That Music" as in, you will likely hear those phrases in this music. Contrast with pop / top 100 "dance music" like you typically get from Akon, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, etc.
||| Bar DJ plays "Poker Face"... |||

Dancin' babe: "Can you play Little Wayne, "Always Strapped"?

DJ: No

Babe: Why not?

DJ: This is a bar, it isn't a club.

Babe: But you just played Gaga, it's the same thing!

DJ: No, it isn't. One plays anywhere, the other is NTFT music, we don't play that here.
NTFT Music by OldFart77 March 17, 2009

fuck me gently with a chainsaw 

First used (?) in "Heathers" http://imdb.com/title/tt0097493/ , probably more close to meaning "well, I'll be damned" or "Well, kiss my ass".
Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?