OldFart77's definitions

postsantum depression

The incredible letdown some folks experience when they realize Christmas is over

(typical Monday after Christmas office discussion)

Holy hell, why is Michelle ragging it with me?

It's not just you, she's got a bad case of postsantum depression.

by OldFart77 December 26, 2009

Lo'steem Screen

The extra viewfinder now found on the front of digital cameras. It exists for those who can't get through a day without taking a picture of themselves.

D: Did you see April's new camera, it's got the Lo'steem Screen that's the latest feature

B: Oh shit, now EVERY picture of her vain ass will be perfectly composed.

D: Yep. No more editing out the bad ones, she'll have more time left to tell us how hot she is.

by OldFart77 December 25, 2010

Checkout Drama

The inevitable delay when you are in a hurry, caused by the clown in front of you having issues with paying for their things. Very common in Walmart and 7-11, less prevalent in Home Depot or Cosco.

(drama person, pick one or more)
| why WON'T it take my card, I got all kind of money on it...
| OK, then try THIS credit card...
| Muthafucker, that IS my PIN number ...

(you)
Aw Jeezus H Christ, I don't need this Checkout Drama. FML.

by OldFart77 July 11, 2010

bag chair and a beer

The essentials for watching a particular event. A "bag chair" is a folding, portable camp chair that can be taken anywhere and set up instantly, your "beer" is your relaxation beverage of choice.

When an event promises to be interesting and worth watching, you go get your bag chair and a beer, then settle in and observe!

Ralph: Boss just found out about Mike leaving early the last couple days, he's looking for him to chew his ass out.

Ed: Oh-h-h-h-h I gotta see this!

Ralph: Yep, gonna get my bag chair and a beer ...

- - - - - - - -

T: Oh man, I think Jen and Amy are all drunked up and checking each other out

E: M-m-m-m-m they'll be sneaking off and going at it before you know it

T: Yep. Gotta get my bag chair and a beer ...

by OldFart77 November 8, 2010

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

First used (?) in "Heathers" http://imdb.com/title/tt0097493/ , probably more close to meaning "well, I'll be damned" or "Well, kiss my ass".

Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

by OldFart77 December 9, 2008

redneck savings account

The intentional act of having too much income tax witheld from your pay, in order to get a big fat refund check at filing time.

Done by stupid people who don't realize they're giving the government an interest free loan all year.

Billy Bob: Got mah tax refund today - six hunnert some bucks!

Melissa: Ahhhh, you cashed in your redneck savings account.

Billy Bob: Huhhh?

by OldFart77 April 24, 2007

loser dust

The tiny particles of crud that are left on the bar, desk, or counter top when you are done checking "scratcher" lottery tickets. Named after the fact that most instant lottery tickets are losers, as are most people who count on them for a source of financial existance.

Angie wiped up the bar after Bob left.
Spilled beer, cigarette ashes, some loser dust, and 50 cents in change that wouldn't buy Bob another draft or scratcher. "fugging drunk loser asshole" she thought.

by OldFart77 November 24, 2007