Definitions by Nicholas D
moana
(conversation via text so pronunciation isn't obvious)
Ben: "Hey dude, did you bang that hot polynesian girl from the bar last night?"
Steve: "Hell yeah bro, she was a real moana!"
Ben: "Uh...isn't that a little racist? That's like calling a random middle eastern guy Aladdin. Not cool."
Steve: "No not the Disney princess, I mean she was moaning up a storm!"
Ben: "Hey dude, did you bang that hot polynesian girl from the bar last night?"
Steve: "Hell yeah bro, she was a real moana!"
Ben: "Uh...isn't that a little racist? That's like calling a random middle eastern guy Aladdin. Not cool."
Steve: "No not the Disney princess, I mean she was moaning up a storm!"
moana by Nicholas D August 8, 2017
Tio Tomas
The Hispanic version of an Uncle Tom; a sellout to his people who likes to suck up to the white oppressors.
"Can you believe that punk Marco Gutierrez with his Latinos for Trump group? What a Tio Tomas!"
"Yeah no kidding. What's next, Blacks for David Duke?"
"Yeah no kidding. What's next, Blacks for David Duke?"
Tio Tomas by Nicholas D September 5, 2016
personal Vietnam
A difficult situation that one experienced that is as traumatic and harrowing as fighting in a long and brutal war. Coined by Donald Trump in a 1997 interview with Howard Stern.
“I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world. It is a dangerous world out there. It’s scary, like Vietnam. Sort of like the Vietnam era. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier.” - Donald Trump, speaking about his experiences sleeping with a large number of loose women and trying to avoid catching STDs
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
personal Vietnam by Nicholas D August 16, 2016
founder hounder
A person, usually a heterosexual female, who pursues relationships or hookups with the founders of tech startups. Like a jersey chaser for nerds. This term was used in the "Bachmanity Insanity" episode of "Silicon Valley."
Clive: "Hey Otto, how's the organic sustainable single-origin artisanal small batch cold brew nitro coffee roasting gig going?"
Otto: "Not great, man. It turns out that our proprietary method of using only high altitude Jamaican Blue Mountain beans filtered through the digestive tract of a civet cat is pretty expensive. So we set our price at $10 a cup, which barely covers our costs, but it's been hard to compete with these low-end stores like Four Barrel and Ritual that sell coffee for only $7, and the peasants here in SF actually drink that swill instead of ours. We went out of business."
Clive: "Oh well, at least you have Matilda. She's your ride-or-die-bitch, right?"
Otto: "Um, not really. She ditched me for this douchebag who is Co-Founder and CEO of this stupid app called Pewply."
Clive: "You mean the app where you take a picture of your feces and it gives you dietary recommendations based on their machine learning big data algorithms? Dude, Pewply is awesome. It totally helped me better come to grips with my gluten allergy."
Otto: "Yeah I'm sensitive to gluten too. But I can't believe she left me for this chode just because of his piece of crap - no pun intended - startup!"
Clive: "Connect the dots, man. Before you, she hooked up with the founders of Markitable, Zenalytics, Flooberli, Sharepnp, and Majikly. She's a classic founder hounder!"
Otto: "Not great, man. It turns out that our proprietary method of using only high altitude Jamaican Blue Mountain beans filtered through the digestive tract of a civet cat is pretty expensive. So we set our price at $10 a cup, which barely covers our costs, but it's been hard to compete with these low-end stores like Four Barrel and Ritual that sell coffee for only $7, and the peasants here in SF actually drink that swill instead of ours. We went out of business."
Clive: "Oh well, at least you have Matilda. She's your ride-or-die-bitch, right?"
Otto: "Um, not really. She ditched me for this douchebag who is Co-Founder and CEO of this stupid app called Pewply."
Clive: "You mean the app where you take a picture of your feces and it gives you dietary recommendations based on their machine learning big data algorithms? Dude, Pewply is awesome. It totally helped me better come to grips with my gluten allergy."
Otto: "Yeah I'm sensitive to gluten too. But I can't believe she left me for this chode just because of his piece of crap - no pun intended - startup!"
Clive: "Connect the dots, man. Before you, she hooked up with the founders of Markitable, Zenalytics, Flooberli, Sharepnp, and Majikly. She's a classic founder hounder!"
founder hounder by Nicholas D May 31, 2016
smell your dick
A figurative term meaning to check if someone is being honest. Comes from Riskay 's song "Smell Yo Dick" about checking for infidelity, but has since come into usage in a business setting.
Jimmy: "So we are giving you exclusive access to this special deal for $35k since you are our absolute favorite client."
Peter: "Johnson, can you call up Willy from Cox-Zucker and see what they were offered?"
Jimmy: "Wait, what? You don't trust me?"
Johnson: "Willy confirms an offer of $29k."
Jimmy: "Well I never! That's preposterous!"
Peter: " Sorry buddy, had to go ahead and smell your dick on this one. And it stinks. Well, so much for this deal. Later, Jimmy."
Peter: "Johnson, can you call up Willy from Cox-Zucker and see what they were offered?"
Jimmy: "Wait, what? You don't trust me?"
Johnson: "Willy confirms an offer of $29k."
Jimmy: "Well I never! That's preposterous!"
Peter: " Sorry buddy, had to go ahead and smell your dick on this one. And it stinks. Well, so much for this deal. Later, Jimmy."
smell your dick by Nicholas D May 17, 2016
blank space
A vagina (or anus if referring to a bottom gay guy) that is not in regular use. Coined by Taylor Swift.
Guy 1: "Did you 'write your name' in Taylor Swift's blank space last night?"
Guy 2: "Does that mean indabutt?"
Guy 1: "No, other hole."
Guy 2: "Then yes. And if you did mean the butt, then the answer would also be yes."
Guy 1: "You sure did 'tail her swift'!"
Guy 2: "Taylor Swift? Barely even know her!"
Guy 2: "Does that mean indabutt?"
Guy 1: "No, other hole."
Guy 2: "Then yes. And if you did mean the butt, then the answer would also be yes."
Guy 1: "You sure did 'tail her swift'!"
Guy 2: "Taylor Swift? Barely even know her!"
blank space by Nicholas D January 17, 2016
better place tax
A figurative tax that's imposed on people who do a job that benefits society, or as the "Silicon Valley" cliche goes, "makes the world a better place." Because more people want to do meaningful jobs than worthless ones, the pay tends to be lower. The opposite is the douchebag bonus, where someone makes more money for doing a job that contributes zero or negative value to society.
Jimmy works as as a researcher who has made significant advances in cancer treatment, but he only makes $70k a year because of the better place tax. Meanwhile, Chazz the hedge fund manager gets a huge douchebag bonus and managed to rake in $10 million last year even though all he did was lose a bunch of rich people a bunch of money.
better place tax by Nicholas D July 25, 2015