Mildred: “Heavens to Betsy, Barney, I already took my dentures out and you’ve gone soft on me!”
Barney: "For Pete’s sake, woman, it’s just the old ghostwood again! Let me pop this Viagra and I’ll be rarin’ to go in a jiffy.”
Barney: "For Pete’s sake, woman, it’s just the old ghostwood again! Let me pop this Viagra and I’ll be rarin’ to go in a jiffy.”
by Nicholas D May 02, 2021
The politically correct term for a postal worker. The old offensive term is “mailman” but “mail” is sexist because it sounds like “male” and “man” is obviously sexist to female or non-binary postal workers.
Female postal worker: “I’m here to bring you your 25 annoying unsolicited Capital One offers for the day! Enjoy tossing these straight in the recycling bin.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”
by Nicholas D March 21, 2020
The New Yorker staff fired Jeffrey Toobin for Toobin on an election simulation Zoom call after he misread the event as an erection stimulation call.
by Nicholas D October 20, 2020
1) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm so proud of you."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."
by Nicholas D May 08, 2007
An unhealthy sexual obsession with white people. Similar to an Asian fetish, black fetish, Latin fetish, etc. This is an underreported phenomenon, as people typically make the racist assumption that the white person is the one with the "fetish" and don't think consider that the non-white person is equally likely to have this kind of obsession.
Fred: "Hey dude, did you hear Steve is dating Chun-Li now? Dude must have an Asian fetish."
Chris: "Uhh I don't think so, man. Way to be a racist though. That guy goes for all kinds of girls. Remember, he dated LaShonda, Guadalupe, Ranjita, and Svetlana before that. He's into everything."
Fred: "Yeah I guess that was ignorant of me to assume."
Chris: "I'll tell you what though, it sort of creeps me out how much of a white fetish Chun-Li has."
Fred: "How do you mean?"
Chris: "Well, she moved from Taiwan to New Hampshire and is always hanging around country clubs, plus she told me she finds nothing hotter on a guy than a sweater vest, Sperry top-siders, and Ray-Ban wayfarers. And look at the last few guys she was with before Steve: Blake, Connor, Jacob, and Chadwick. Those guys are all 100% purebred WASPs. Textbook case of a white fetish, man."
Fred: "Yeah, that's weird. Girls with white fetishes are the worst. I hate it when women see me as a sex object rather than a person!"
Chris: "Um yeah...most guys would love that, but whatever floats your boat."
Chris: "Uhh I don't think so, man. Way to be a racist though. That guy goes for all kinds of girls. Remember, he dated LaShonda, Guadalupe, Ranjita, and Svetlana before that. He's into everything."
Fred: "Yeah I guess that was ignorant of me to assume."
Chris: "I'll tell you what though, it sort of creeps me out how much of a white fetish Chun-Li has."
Fred: "How do you mean?"
Chris: "Well, she moved from Taiwan to New Hampshire and is always hanging around country clubs, plus she told me she finds nothing hotter on a guy than a sweater vest, Sperry top-siders, and Ray-Ban wayfarers. And look at the last few guys she was with before Steve: Blake, Connor, Jacob, and Chadwick. Those guys are all 100% purebred WASPs. Textbook case of a white fetish, man."
Fred: "Yeah, that's weird. Girls with white fetishes are the worst. I hate it when women see me as a sex object rather than a person!"
Chris: "Um yeah...most guys would love that, but whatever floats your boat."
by Nicholas D April 19, 2011
A sarcastic comment that is used when someone figures out something really obvious. An imitation of a game show host announcing that someone has given the correct answer and has won a prize that his assistant (Johnny) will specify on cue. Often preceded by "Ding ding!"
Boss: "OK everyone, Brenda Smith is going to be out on Thursday so we need someone to volunteer to fill her time slot."
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"
by Nicholas D February 20, 2009
Nick D (typing on Urban Dictionary): "My junk has been itching up a storm every since I chucked it in that dirty ska-"
Kanye West (interrupting): "Yo Nick D, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but your definition of the shit out of was one of the best definitions describing something happening to a very large extent of all time! One of the best definitions of ALL TIME!" *shrugs*
Kanye West (interrupting): "Yo Nick D, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but your definition of the shit out of was one of the best definitions describing something happening to a very large extent of all time! One of the best definitions of ALL TIME!" *shrugs*
by Nicholas D October 22, 2009