171 definitions by Nicholas D
A polictically-correct way to say the word "retarded," a la the Black Eyed Peas song "Let's Get It Started."
Tom: Oh man, Jim, I was heading to school today and I saw a BUNCH of retarded kids walking to their special school.
Teacher: Thomas Joseph Wilkins! You know not to use such language in the classroom!
Tom: Sorry, Mrs. Peterson. What happened was I saw a bunch of it started kids on the way to school. They were so it started that I went up and stole a bunch of money from each of them and they didn't even notice, and then I pushed one of them over, laughed at him, and yelled "get out of the way, it start!"
Teacher: That's much better Thomas.
Teacher: Thomas Joseph Wilkins! You know not to use such language in the classroom!
Tom: Sorry, Mrs. Peterson. What happened was I saw a bunch of it started kids on the way to school. They were so it started that I went up and stole a bunch of money from each of them and they didn't even notice, and then I pushed one of them over, laughed at him, and yelled "get out of the way, it start!"
Teacher: That's much better Thomas.
by Nicholas D October 20, 2005
Jebediah: I'm gonna kick your ass! I'll meet you at the docks at midnight!
Isaac: Nah, let's meet behind the synagogue, same time. I'm gonna bring my whole Motley Crew, and you're going down.
Isaac: Nah, let's meet behind the synagogue, same time. I'm gonna bring my whole Motley Crew, and you're going down.
by Nicholas D June 3, 2004
Catherine Ocean was no stranger to the sausage bin, but when the jocks caught on to the the fact that she had over seven STDs displayed prominently on her face and started turning her down, she got depressed and became no stranger to the biscuit tin.
by Nicholas D May 17, 2004
A pejorative term used by residents of either coast to refer to all US states that do not border an ocean, particularly those in the Midwest.
Person 1: "Where are you from?"
Person 2: "Chicago.
Person 1: "Where the hell is that? Is it a foreign country like Africa or something?"
Person 2: "No, it's in the US."
Person 1: "What state? Probably some lame state like East Dakota or Toronto or Mt. Rushmore."
Person 2: "Illinois actually."
Person 1: "AHAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOSER! It must suck ass living in the flyover states! Picking corn and milking cows and going to pig shows and shit. Your life sounds terrible."
Person 2: "Yeah...where are you from?"
Person 1: "Stockton, beeotch. Eat that."
Person 2: "Where is that?"
Person 1: "Um, hello, California, duh."
Person 2: "Oh that place. I remember seeing it in a Most Depressing Cities in the US article. Must be awesome sitting in front of your foreclosed mobile home watching Teen Mom reruns on an old black and white TV, wishing you'd catch a break and get cast in the next season, all while trying not to get shot."
Person 1: "Yeah, it is awesome."
Person 2: "Chicago.
Person 1: "Where the hell is that? Is it a foreign country like Africa or something?"
Person 2: "No, it's in the US."
Person 1: "What state? Probably some lame state like East Dakota or Toronto or Mt. Rushmore."
Person 2: "Illinois actually."
Person 1: "AHAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOSER! It must suck ass living in the flyover states! Picking corn and milking cows and going to pig shows and shit. Your life sounds terrible."
Person 2: "Yeah...where are you from?"
Person 1: "Stockton, beeotch. Eat that."
Person 2: "Where is that?"
Person 1: "Um, hello, California, duh."
Person 2: "Oh that place. I remember seeing it in a Most Depressing Cities in the US article. Must be awesome sitting in front of your foreclosed mobile home watching Teen Mom reruns on an old black and white TV, wishing you'd catch a break and get cast in the next season, all while trying not to get shot."
Person 1: "Yeah, it is awesome."
by Nicholas D January 19, 2012
A trashy, slutty woman who hangs out at country bars and has no qualms about random hookups, even with married men. Can be relied upon any night for an easy chuck with no strings attached.
Brad: "Sup dude. You look haggard today."
Sam: "Yeah man, I just came back from Amber's place. Linda broke up with me yesterday and I went to the bar and had a few shots, and you know how that ends up. Spoiler alert: I banged her."
Brad: "A little honky tonk special action, huh? Talk about haggard! She's more haggard than Merle. And she's been around the block more times than the mailman. You might want to go to the doctor and get checked out."
Sam: "You can say that again. It itches."
"Sure enough about closing time, I'm about stoned out of my mind, and I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home, and I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound."
-Hank Williams, Jr., "Whiskey Bent and Hellbound"
"Honky tonk special, you're not my daddy's wife."
-Marty Brown, "Honky Tonk Special"
Sam: "Yeah man, I just came back from Amber's place. Linda broke up with me yesterday and I went to the bar and had a few shots, and you know how that ends up. Spoiler alert: I banged her."
Brad: "A little honky tonk special action, huh? Talk about haggard! She's more haggard than Merle. And she's been around the block more times than the mailman. You might want to go to the doctor and get checked out."
Sam: "You can say that again. It itches."
"Sure enough about closing time, I'm about stoned out of my mind, and I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home, and I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound."
-Hank Williams, Jr., "Whiskey Bent and Hellbound"
"Honky tonk special, you're not my daddy's wife."
-Marty Brown, "Honky Tonk Special"
by Nicholas D September 7, 2013
A figurative saying meaning that someone is extremely good in the clutch and very cool under pressure.
Norm: "Well folks, we're here on the 18th hole and Tiger Woods is having a great day, putting his balls pretty much wherever he wants to."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
by Nicholas D April 4, 2011
A phrase that means that something is so good that you're awestruck by it to the point where you're so disoriented that you might mistakenly slap your grandmother. If someone takes this literally it could at best cause an awkward situation and at worst cause your entire family to fall apart.
"Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma!
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"
by Nicholas D May 23, 2008