Mr Ben's definitions

NOMS

Acronym for Not On My Shift. Used to pass the buck and shift blame for an incident that you are directly responsible for but do not want to admit. Care must be taken when using the word as management will think you are muttering under your breath.

"Mr Ben, did you see who attacked Mrs Webster with the fire extinguisher?"

"No, I didn't. NOMS."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

tornado

A sudden and inexplicable increase in customers, causing massive amounts of damage and devastation. Then, just as strangely as it appears, the whole thing blows over and the place is empty and now wrecked.

"We've just had a bit of a tornado in here, Boss."

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

kiddie kicker

Someone you meet online in a game (Quake 3, for example) with a name spelt with capitals at random intervals, numbers, multiple colours if possible and an inprobably tough-sounding name. However, what truely makes a kiddie kicker is his real persona - an eleven year old boy from Minneapolis who's trying to avoid doing his homework and focuses his attention on whopping your ass.

"FeaR mE, fOr i aM bOw31 bu5T3r!"

"MARTIN! Have you finished your maths homework yet?"

"Not yet, mom."

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

tourist

Any individual who displays no regard or knowledge for the unwritten rules of a location or city. Tourists in London, for example, frequently stand on the left hand side of escalators on the tube (a serious no-no), stand directly in front of the train doors with large rucksacks (again, you just don't do this) and take photographs of them halfway out of a telephone box as though they were appearing in a Broadway musical (does anyone do this anywhere at all?).

"What's that? Stand on the right? No, I think I like the left hand side better. Who cares about those other jerks wanting to get by? I'm a tourist, they should wait." - the primary cause of rioting on the London Underground.

by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

satnav woman

A mysterious woman, locked away in a secret lab somewhere in Germany, whose sultry sexy tones provide guidance to millions to male drivers via their satellite navigation system. Can also be used to describe the vocal commands heard in other places, like an elevator.

"After... 200 yards, turn... left. Turn left. Do it now. You have turned... right. You are now going the wrong way." - satnav woman in full flow.

by Mr Ben July 18, 2006

adn

Frequent mispelling of the word "and" and therefore, possibly the most annoying word you'll ever read when going over your work. Apart from "teh".

"Round adn round they went... oh, FUCK IT!"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

machoegotist

One who suffers from the terrible afflication known as machoegotism. Can also be used as an insult, meaning one who is a twat.

"That Paul is a complete machoegotist!"

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005