Monkey's Dad's definitions
Knowing it would take his colleague a while to figure it out, or to seek its meaning on Urban Dictionary, Jason began his text with a subtle-yet-direct salutation - "Dear SOTE..."
by Monkey's Dad August 29, 2021
Get the SOTE mug.Ironyclad as always, her eulogy for her mother began, "You all know mom? She sends her regrets at being unable to attend today's festivities", but the mourners all understood it was her defense against grief.
by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020
Get the ironyclad mug.An action requiring no concentration or cognition. Anything you find yourself doing without questioning whether it is necessary, productive, moral or life enhancing.
Making the bed at ten o'clock at night, knowing it would get messed up again in an hour, was one of the things a person did because they were a person who did things like that, one thinkless task among many, and ain't no use to wonder why.
by Monkey's Dad January 7, 2022
Get the thinkless task mug.An explanation for your failures, so spectacular that even those you have let down will put their hands together.
Asked why there was no quarterly report, the vp replied, with the straightest of faces, that he had been abducted on his way to the office, given a medical exam by aliens aboard their UFO, and that the alien's dog did actually eat all his paperwork, and he was extremely sorry. An applausible excuse, it seemed, as he got a laugh from the CEO, clapping filled the conference room, and was not fired for two weeks.
by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020
Get the applausible excuse mug.She held forth on her horoscope, crystals, the definite possibility that unicorns actually exist, with mesmerizing airy-fairyudition,
by Monkey's Dad February 16, 2020
Get the airy-fairyudition mug.Widely-separated, empty locations where people drink alone and share the experience with others over the Internet.
"Come here often?" he said into his phone. "Oh, I'm here all the time", she answered. On his small screen she looked like she was enjoying her Margarita, he told her how great his straight Jack Daniels felt going down, miles apart, each locked in their parallel bars, sharing Happy Hour.
by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
Get the parallel bars mug.The opening line of a disarmingly transparent effort to get your SSN, passwords and credit card number.
Never read Moby Dick? Then call me Phishmail. Impress your friends 'cause absolutely free I'll give you my lightning tutorial on Melville's massive classic. Just click here.
by Monkey's Dad January 19, 2020
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