The misanthrope's currently-plausible excuse.
"We can't be too careful, can we?", he said, avoiding his friend's extended elbow and backing away. While everyone was doing it, he'd always done it, his antisocial distancing now conveniently disguised as responsible social distancing.
by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020
The new Fear of Flying, where people on a plane are inches apart and, once seated beside someone coughing, there is nowhere to escape.
Advised to distance himself from other humans, needing to get to Chicago, he assessed the flight risk and decided to drive.
by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020
An action requiring no concentration or cognition. Anything you find yourself doing without questioning whether it is necessary, productive, moral or life enhancing.
Making the bed at ten o'clock at night, knowing it would get messed up again in an hour, was one of the things a person did because they were a person who did things like that, one thinkless task among many, and ain't no use to wonder why.
by Monkey's Dad January 07, 2022
The special day in mid-March when people do NOT gather in tightly-packed spaces to get drunk, yell, sing and generally breathe in each others' faces, because there is still a global pandemic.
With his six-pack of Guinness, he sat on his sofa to celebrate Sane Patrick's Day, and set his sights on next year.
by Monkey's Dad March 17, 2021
A person coming of age in the coronaviral age, home-schooled, missing out on dating, beer, pot and every other rite of social passage.
Watching "Clueless", "Ladybird" and "Booksmart" while in lockdown, she yearned to experience the geeky teen years which were her birthright and hated-hated-hated being a dorky quaranteenager.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020
He hadn't been in the presence of an actual woman for such a long while, yet he had a full cyberotic life, so much free time, nowhere to go, endless online porn.
by Monkey's Dad April 04, 2020
The audience had been anticipating Clapton would close the concert with a soaring rendition of his number one megahit, not the bland finale of Layla performed on solo ukulele and a kazoo.
by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020